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The community concern about marriage of a single woman who is in marriageable age.

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  • The community concern about marriage of a single woman who is in marriageable age.

    A sister in Lifestyle section, while replying to a thread, mentioned the following (I am quoting her with a bit of editing):

    A single woman at a marriagable age is (indirectly) deemed inferior/ at loss by the society, but they don't realize that Allah Jalla Jalaaluhu has written in her Taqdeer to remain single till a certain age HE knows best, Alhumdullilah. (There is khair in it for her if her sincere efforts/ prayers and that of her parents have not yet bear fruit in this regard).

    The community at large is often so (at times negatively) 'concerned' about those girls who remain unmarried (as if it is a sin), but very less worried about those Muslim girls who remain irreligious/ disconnected to ALLAH. (which is a greater loss/pain for a Muslim, in this life and also hereafter).

    Yes its testing to live without a husband, but a punishment to be a Muslim and intentionally live a life outside of the Deen, (that all Muslims firmly believe to be a great loss).
    Amazingly, so many 'educated' and 'sensible' people (even unintentionally) take part is making her feel embarrassed/ ashamed/ degraded/ inferior, (even indirectly) yet they don't realize that it is perfectly normal and can happen to even their own daughters/ sisters.
    Read not to contradict and confute, not to believe and take for granted, not to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider. Inhale positive, exhale negative

  • #2
    Re: The community concern about marriage of a single woman who is in marriageable age

    I thought this was going to be a thread about a community which bans together to get single sisters married :(
    Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

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    • #3
      Re: The community concern about marriage of a single woman who is in marriageable age

      Originally posted by inprogress View Post
      I thought this was going to be a thread about a community which bans together to get single sisters married :(
      Sister if you're looking to get married, go to the mosque or talk to your parents lol.

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      • #4
        Re: The community concern about marriage of a single woman who is in marriageable age

        Originally posted by Masih View Post
        Sister if you're looking to get married, go to the mosque or talk to your parents lol.
        No, not for me. Just in general when I read that title that's what came into my mind. I have not even started the seeking husband process, I think I have enough connections when the time comes inshAllah.

        It would just be nice to see Muslims working together to help each other out instead of looking down. That was my main point.
        Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

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        • #5
          Re: The community concern about marriage of a single woman who is in marriageable age

          It happens and it follows the advice imam Gazhali said:"it is easier to give advice". These people think they are helping by being concern. What they don't realize is, the concern is negatively effecting the girl and the parents. That giving advice to people is easy, especially when you are not in their shoe and have black/white view. But to be honest, it happens everywhere not just to single sister. We are all quick to give advice/concern even on matters we don't understand.

          -> Single sisters show this "negative concern" toward mothers with young kids attending lecture or masjid events. It doesn't make the mothers feel any better, especially when single sisters indirectly advice the mothers to stay home until the kids are older or pointers on how to manage them. I am sure the mother is well aware of this

          -> Parents with trouble teenagers get these 'negative concern" on how to raise good boy/girls by people who never had to deal with out of control teenager. But the parents already know those text book advice and those aren't working. They need understanding and time, not people pointing finger at them saying they are bad parents. We all know even good parents can have bad kids

          --> Single sisters get "negative concern" from married people for being single and are always advice to not be picky. Most of those sisters have already dropped their requirement and advice on "don't be picky" is no help at that point.

          We all do it

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