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My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

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  • Jenicca
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Okay, plenty to go on here.

    No need for speculations.

    :jkk:

    Op if you want thread opened, give me a shout !!

    Leave a comment:


  • bluesnowman
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Salaam,

    Ok she has, but it is obvious that her daughter is not heeding the advice even if the sister is telling her all this. I mean it's 9 pages long already and I'm pretty sure it's not a troll either that is posting. What I'm trying to say is that we have given her enough advice, and idk if she has given that to her daughter because obviously her feelings on this serious matter has not changed. That's what I meant to say. But I was saying also that a mod should lock it since we have given as much advice as we can and her daughter out right refuses to listen or take heed, and it's just not worth continuing this thread. That's all I'm saying.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    People going around with their "troll meters" need to relax :insha:

    Unless you are 100% sure she is trolling, avoid suspicion, as Allah has said.

    Leave a comment:


  • purple89
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by bluesnowman View Post
    Salaam,

    For the sake of other members, can someone lock this thread. Sister, we have done our best to help you and advise you and it is clear that you pretty much have not taken our advice and it is a waste of time to keep posting this thread. Somebody please lock it...
    How has she not? judging by her posts she has tried and taken as much advice as she could from many of the posters on this topic.

    Leave a comment:


  • bluesnowman
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Salaam,

    For the sake of other members, can someone lock this thread. Sister, we have done our best to help you and advise you and it is clear that you pretty much have not taken our advice and it is a waste of time to keep posting this thread. Somebody please lock it...

    Leave a comment:


  • purple89
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Well I guess that's that.

    Leave a comment:


  • Beblessed
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
    Okay so here's what happened on Saturday:

    We met there in the evening, the boy and his parents were there before us. It didn't happen in the open like some people think, it happened in a "counselling" room away from everyone else. Basically, the "priests" wanted to hear both sides of the story and see if we could come to an agreement. We started, saying that we are Muslims and that in our religion Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men. That is reason enough for us to be against it and we said if this boy seriously thought about Islam and became Muslim for Allah's sake then we would accept him marrying our daughter, but it would need to be after at least 6 months of extensive education at the Masjid.

    His parents said they that do not know what to think about the marriage but feel where we are coming from and think that it might be a good idea for this relationship to end.

    Very quickly it got heated in the room, my husband and my son especially yelling at the boy, calling him names and expressing their dissent. I was surprised to see his parents getting irritated as well, at one point his father telling him to leave our daughter because he's wasting everyone's time. Even though my daughter is just, if not more at fault, he got 90% of the blame and yelling and hatred but he just sat there and took it all in and calmy replied to everything that was thrown at him. You could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't angry or frustrated by what was being said to him, just disappointed.

    When it was his turn to talk, he looked at us and said he apologizes for any negative feelings we may hold, but he is not going to break things off with our daughter. He did not feel it was fair that we weren't even willing to give him a chance just because he is non-Muslim. He said that no matter what happens, whether he and my daughter are still a part of our lives after the marriage or they move somewhere far away, he wants us to know that he will always be there for her, love her more and more each and every single day and do everything he could possibly need to to keep her happy, to which she replied that they could be living in a shack, as long as he was by her side she would always be happy.

    My daughter said she loved him and separating them would be like cutting open her chest, taking her heart out and shredding it into pieces. All she wants is for us to give her and her "future husband" our blessings and leave the rest up to them and she knew they would be fine forever because God would be watching over them and protecting them. After saying this she was tearing up a bit and he comforted her, holding her hand and putting her head on his shoulder and telling her everything was going to be all right.

    She did, at one point, ask the boy's parents what they would do if she married their son. They said if it happened then they would only wish them all the happiness in the world and they would accept her and love her like their own daughter, but that they would be very disappointed if this happened without our approvement and felt she should take what her parents (us) were saying into consideration, which she said she had already done.

    The priests spent time warning them of the difficulties of interreligious marriage but they said they had already come to an agreement on how any future children would be raised.

    The priests mentioned that if they do choose to get married at the Gurdwara then they would be united in front of the Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh Holy Book) and their souls will have merged into one in the eyes of God. However, they still felt it would be better if parents from both sides were present to bless their children's union and wish them the best of luck in their life journey.

    After everything was said and done, it was very awkward, nobody spoke but the boy and my daughter got up and left together. Before all the parents left, the priests pulled the boy's parents off to the side and told them that this was obviously very hard on me and my husband and the priests still felt it would be best if the boy's parents put more pressure on the boy to break things off. During the session his parents' attitude had obviously changed because by the end of it they were very understanding and were for the most part on our side. They promised that they would do their best to try to get their son to break this off before any formal date for the wedding had been established.

    So there you have it, I didn't expect either the boy or my daughter to agree to cut it off at the Gurdwara, but I was hoping that we could convince her parents into coming to our side, which has happened, so the hope is now that the boy will break easier than our daughter and cut things off with her.

    But the marriage would happen at the Gurdwara if the two of them decided to go ahead and the priests said that they would be united with God's grace and that as long as they truly did love each other with all their hearts and were committed to each other then there was nothing to worry about and that God would protect them.
    :1popcorn:

    do you know why people call you a troll because you are a good writer of love story and what were you doing all the time? sitting there having a tea and biscuit? when we gave you all the advice you could use during your counselling. and you said nothing.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jannah7
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
    I'm mad because half the replies have been "U IS A TROLL".

    What did you expect, tea and biscuits?
    if you are sincere you have already had lots of advice, why aren't you planning your umra trip and spending time on dua and Tahajjud rather than using inappropriate language here

    Leave a comment:


  • Aleeza
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by Jannah7 View Post
    do we really think many concerned mothers would use this language
    I'm mad because half the replies have been "U IS A TROLL".

    What did you expect, tea and biscuits?

    Leave a comment:


  • Aleeza
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by blanchoir View Post
    I've been in that "LOVE CUT OPEN CHEST CRAP", its shaytan... so listen, these feelings you have for this guy, Its from shaytan, how can Allah put blessings between something thats in disobediance to him.

    Listen to your parents.
    My daughter isn't going to read this so idk what you're doing.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jannah7
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
    Seriously, either say something useful or shut your mouth and gtfo. No one is forcing you to post in here.
    do we really think many concerned mothers would use this language, how many concerned muslim mothers say gtfo

    Leave a comment:


  • blanchoir
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
    You're kidding me right? Where was I trying to justify the marriage? Where did I really even give a personal opinion? All I did was try my best to describe what happened, yeah there's some mushy stuff in there too and maybe some people would have left it out but I didn't because I feel it was important to know before going forward. Seriously, either say something useful or shut your mouth and gtfo. No one is forcing you to post in here.
    I've been in that "LOVE CUT OPEN CHEST CRAP", its shaytan... so listen, these feelings you have for this guy, Its from shaytan, how can Allah put blessings between something thats in disobediance to him.

    Listen to your parents.

    Leave a comment:


  • Aleeza
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by blanchoir View Post
    loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

    troll allerttttttt



    OOOOOOOOMGG Just close this thread already, Look at this post seriously... This cannot be the mother of the child. I wouldn't be suprised if its the daughter herself.
    You're kidding me right? Where was I trying to justify the marriage? Where did I really even give a personal opinion? All I did was try my best to describe what happened, yeah there's some mushy stuff in there too and maybe some people would have left it out but I didn't because I feel it was important to know before going forward. Seriously, either say something useful or shut your mouth and gtfo. No one is forcing you to post in here.

    Leave a comment:


  • blanchoir
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by aleeza View Post
    okay so here's what happened on saturday:

    We met there in the evening, the boy and his parents were there before us. It didn't happen in the open like some people think, it happened in a "counselling" room away from everyone else. Basically, the "priests" wanted to hear both sides of the story and see if we could come to an agreement. We started, saying that we are muslims and that in our religion muslim women are not allowed to marry non-muslim men. That is reason enough for us to be against it and we said if this boy seriously thought about islam and became muslim for allah's sake then we would accept him marrying our daughter, but it would need to be after at least 6 months of extensive education at the masjid.

    His parents said they that do not know what to think about the marriage but feel where we are coming from and think that it might be a good idea for this relationship to end.

    Very quickly it got heated in the room, my husband and my son especially yelling at the boy, calling him names and expressing their dissent. I was surprised to see his parents getting irritated as well, at one point his father telling him to leave our daughter because he's wasting everyone's time. Even though my daughter is just, if not more at fault, he got 90% of the blame and yelling and hatred but he just sat there and took it all in and calmy replied to everything that was thrown at him. You could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't angry or frustrated by what was being said to him, just disappointed.

    When it was his turn to talk, he looked at us and said he apologizes for any negative feelings we may hold, but he is not going to break things off with our daughter. He did not feel it was fair that we weren't even willing to give him a chance just because he is non-muslim. He said that no matter what happens, whether he and my daughter are still a part of our lives after the marriage or they move somewhere far away, he wants us to know that he will always be there for her, love her more and more each and every single day and do everything he could possibly need to to keep her happy, to which she replied that they could be living in a shack, as long as he was by her side she would always be happy.

    My daughter said she loved him and separating them would be like cutting open her chest, taking her heart out and shredding it into pieces. All she wants is for us to give her and her "future husband" our blessings and leave the rest up to them and she knew they would be fine forever because god would be watching over them and protecting them. After saying this she was tearing up a bit and he comforted her, holding her hand and putting her head on his shoulder and telling her everything was going to be all right.

    She did, at one point, ask the boy's parents what they would do if she married their son. They said if it happened then they would only wish them all the happiness in the world and they would accept her and love her like their own daughter, but that they would be very disappointed if this happened without our approvement and felt she should take what her parents (us) were saying into consideration, which she said she had already done.

    The priests spent time warning them of the difficulties of interreligious marriage but they said they had already come to an agreement on how any future children would be raised.

    The priests mentioned that if they do choose to get married at the gurdwara then they would be united in front of the guru granth sahib (sikh holy book) and their souls will have merged into one in the eyes of god. However, they still felt it would be better if parents from both sides were present to bless their children's union and wish them the best of luck in their life journey.

    After everything was said and done, it was very awkward, nobody spoke but the boy and my daughter got up and left together. Before all the parents left, the priests pulled the boy's parents off to the side and told them that this was obviously very hard on me and my husband and the priests still felt it would be best if the boy's parents put more pressure on the boy to break things off. During the session his parents' attitude had obviously changed because by the end of it they were very understanding and were for the most part on our side. They promised that they would do their best to try to get their son to break this off before any formal date for the wedding had been established.

    So there you have it, i didn't expect either the boy or my daughter to agree to cut it off at the gurdwara, but i was hoping that we could convince her parents into coming to our side, which has happened, so the hope is now that the boy will break easier than our daughter and cut things off with her.

    But the marriage would happen at the gurdwara if the two of them decided to go ahead and the priests said that they would be united with god's grace and that as long as they truly did love each other with all their hearts and were committed to each other then there was nothing to worry about and that god would protect them.
    loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

    troll allerttttttt



    OOOOOOOOMGG Just close this thread already, Look at this post seriously... This cannot be the mother of the child. I wouldn't be suprised if its the daughter herself.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sis_Asiya
    replied
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by usman74 View Post
    How is this post by Sis_Asiya not a personal insult?She needs to be cautioned or sanctioned as well.You might disagree with Aleeza but you've no justification for this post of yours.It is important for you to know that while you have the RIGHT,there is no obligation for you to post on every thread!!
    grow up! SubhanAllah. Oh and blame insomnia. Joy of joys.

    And as for the "personal insult" blah part, what planet are you on? I personally do find it disgusting that a supposed muslim woman is considering marrying a kafir. So sue me

    Leave a comment:

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