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My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

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  • #76
    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
    Because I've met him and his hair is cut...
    What about the bangle on his hand that women wear 8-)

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    • #77
      Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

      Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
      Thank you to the people who replied.

      I'd like to know how I'm supposed to be more strict with her. I'm already doing everything I can, but she insists, and it's illegal for me to force her against her will. I would kick her out, but she can just get her own place, or worse, go live with the boy. And then if things don't turn out okay, she will hate us and not come back.

      She is knowledgable about Islam and justifies this marriage by saying "he won't force his religion on me". I have asked her to justify her children being raised non-Muslim, but she says that as long as they turn out to be well-rounded individuals who have respect for others and are intelligent enough to make proper decisions (says she wants them to be like their father pretty much), she will be happy. She says if they decide they do want to be Muslims, then all the better, but she really doesn't care if they aren't.

      I love my daughter and am not "giving her up to him". The marriage would be against my will. But I also do not have the right to force my daughter to do something she doesn't want to. I can advise and tell her it's wrong; if she goes ahead with it, that's her choice.

      I don't understand why people are criticizing me so much for saying this boy is an "angel". Of course I never say any of this in front of my daughter, but the truth is that he is a really nice person, and dare I say it, from what I've seen probably more loving and caring than most "Muslim men" are. I use quotations because I know that a practicing brother who really fears Allah swt makes a great husband as well, but there are too many guys out there these days who act all pious and then after marriage turn out to be horrible. Most Muslim brothers we are in touch with are practicing, but I still say this boy is second to none in manners and conduct and caring.

      I have a wonderful relationship with my husband. He is a practicing Muslim who fears Allah swt and is amazing. I have no regrets marrying him. So no, I don't hate my marriage and want some sort of love story for my daughter, I probably hate Bollywood as much as all of you!
      I doubt he's an angel. Honestly... unless he drinks Redbull a lot? How many Muslim men have you got experience with to know that he's more caring? No man can be more caring than the Prophet saw.

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      • #78
        Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

        Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
        Thank you to the people who replied.

        I'd like to know how I'm supposed to be more strict with her. I'm already doing everything I can, but she insists, and it's illegal for me to force her against her will. I would kick her out, but she can just get her own place, or worse, go live with the boy. And then if things don't turn out okay, she will hate us and not come back.

        She is knowledgable about Islam and justifies this marriage by saying "he won't force his religion on me". I have asked her to justify her children being raised non-Muslim, but she says that as long as they turn out to be well-rounded individuals who have respect for others and are intelligent enough to make proper decisions (says she wants them to be like their father pretty much), she will be happy. She says if they decide they do want to be Muslims, then all the better, but she really doesn't care if they aren't.

        I love my daughter and am not "giving her up to him". The marriage would be against my will. But I also do not have the right to force my daughter to do something she doesn't want to. I can advise and tell her it's wrong; if she goes ahead with it, that's her choice.

        I don't understand why people are criticizing me so much for saying this boy is an "angel". Of course I never say any of this in front of my daughter, but the truth is that he is a really nice person, and dare I say it, from what I've seen probably more loving and caring than most "Muslim men" are. I use quotations because I know that a practicing brother who really fears Allah swt makes a great husband as well, but there are too many guys out there these days who act all pious and then after marriage turn out to be horrible. Most Muslim brothers we are in touch with are practicing, but I still say this boy is second to none in manners and conduct and caring.

        I have a wonderful relationship with my husband. He is a practicing Muslim who fears Allah swt and is amazing. I have no regrets marrying him. So no, I don't hate my marriage and want some sort of love story for my daughter, I probably hate Bollywood as much as all of you!
        You seem to really hate "Muslim men" How do you know this little angel of yours won't turn into the devil like rest of us "Muslim men" after marriage?

        Comment


        • #79
          Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

          Originally posted by MoMo. View Post
          You seem to really hate "Muslim men" How do you know this little angel of yours won't turn into the devil like rest of us "Muslim men" after marriage?
          Cause he'll turn in to this


          I doubt he's an angel, having all that on his head will bring him nose down.

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          • #80
            Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

            She is knowledgable about Islam and justifies this marriage by saying "he won't force his religion on me".
            I dont think you are getting it, its not about her converting, a muslim woman cant marry a non muslim. the wedding wont seem real and everytime she is with him she will be committing a sin

            ok so you cant force her and no one is asking you, she is a grown woman, she will do what she wants. Although I couldnt imagine ever hurting my mother and would never sacrifice my family for a haram relationship

            BUT TAKE A STAND, DONT GO TO THE WEDDING, GET YOUR HUSBAND TO TAKE CONTROL, MAYBE EVEN GET HER BROTHER TO make her SEE SENSE.
            My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
            ‘O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.’
            “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

            Comment


            • #81
              Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

              (says she wants them to be like their father pretty much), she will be happy. She says if they decide they do want to be Muslims, then all the better, but she really doesn't care if they aren't.
              Glad I didnt go to an all girls muslim school, what a wasted education.
              My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
              ‘O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.’
              “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

              Comment


              • #82
                Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                Here's what the wedding will look like,

                Comment


                • #83
                  Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                  Originally posted by MoMo. View Post
                  You seem to really hate "Muslim men" How do you know this little angel of yours won't turn into the devil like rest of us "Muslim men" after marriage?
                  I don't know anything for sure, and I never said all Muslim men turn out to be horrible after marriage. I know they don't. My husnband didn't :)

                  But I know from experience that some of them do, I may not have direct contact with a lot of Muslim men but I do with their wives at the Masjid.

                  He doesn't have any real reason to lie to me, everything is on the table and he knows I don't support this. Even the fact that they haven't slept together yet isn't making me accept this marriage. My daughter has known him for 5 years and knows him a lot more than I do. Honestly I think you can figure a person out in 5 years, if he was horrible inside then she would have been able to pick up on it at one point or another but she claims that that's not the case.

                  Anyways, this is off topic. A lot of people are saying I'm wrong for being so accepting of this (even though I've made it clear multiple times that I'm against it). Put yourself in my shoes. Your daughter wants to marry a non-Muslim man, you've done everything you can to stop her and nothing has worked, she can support herself financially and kicking her out of the house won't work either. What do you do?

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                  • #84
                    Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                    I'd buy her a turban

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                      Originally posted by Aleeza View Post

                      Anyways, this is off topic. A lot of people are saying I'm wrong for being so accepting of this (even though I've made it clear multiple times that I'm against it). Put yourself in my shoes. Your daughter wants to marry a non-Muslim man, you've done everything you can to stop her and nothing has worked, she can support herself financially and kicking her out of the house won't work either. What do you do?
                      I told you a friends fam went through this, THEY DISOWNED HER, so then she realised i gotta teach him about islam, and this was a guy who would never convert but then came to Islam after researching and then AND ONLY THEN the parents allowed her back in their lives and they got their nikah done. Even her siblings disowned her!!! They did it because they loved her and didnt want her to be in a haram relationship. Sometimes you gotta be harsh with the ones you love.

                      No you cant figure out a person until you live with them!

                      Seriously you have to put your foot down.
                      My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
                      ‘O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.’
                      “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                        Originally posted by Fairy View Post
                        I dont think you are getting it, its not about her converting, a muslim woman cant marry a non muslim. the wedding wont seem real and everytime she is with him she will be committing a sin

                        ok so you cant force her and no one is asking you, she is a grown woman, she will do what she wants. Although I couldnt imagine ever hurting my mother and would never sacrifice my family for a haram relationship

                        BUT TAKE A STAND, DONT GO TO THE WEDDING, GET YOUR HUSBAND TO TAKE CONTROL, MAYBE EVEN GET HER BROTHER TO make her SEE SENSE.
                        I know it is haram even if she stays Muslim. I have told her we aren't coming to the wedding, my husband has been doing everything and talking to her, my son has as well. The only thing it seems to be doing is making her more mad at us. She said if we really loved her we'd leave her alone and not be trying so much to stop her.

                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                          Make dua to Allah

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                            Originally posted by Fairy View Post
                            I told you a friends fam went through this, THEY DISOWNED HER
                            Isn't that against the teachings of Islam though?

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                              Why don't you go and ask your daughter as she's so learned about Islam LOL

                              Comment


                              • #90
                                Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                                Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
                                I don't know anything for sure, and I never said all Muslim men turn out to be horrible after marriage. I know they don't. My husnband didn't :)

                                But I know from experience that some of them do, I may not have direct contact with a lot of Muslim men but I do with their wives at the Masjid.

                                He doesn't have any real reason to lie to me, everything is on the table and he knows I don't support this. Even the fact that they haven't slept together yet isn't making me accept this marriage. My daughter has known him for 5 years and knows him a lot more than I do. Honestly I think you can figure a person out in 5 years, if he was horrible inside then she would have been able to pick up on it at one point or another but she claims that that's not the case.

                                Anyways, this is off topic. A lot of people are saying I'm wrong for being so accepting of this (even though I've made it clear multiple times that I'm against it). Put yourself in my shoes. Your daughter wants to marry a non-Muslim man, you've done everything you can to stop her and nothing has worked, she can support herself financially and kicking her out of the house won't work either. What do you do?

                                why is it you seem to be generalizing a lot about how bad muslim men can be but not sikh men? Why do you seem accepting of the fact that your daughter, if she marries this man will commit zina, its not a valid marriage. Why do you not try to advise your daughter about how important her deen is as opposed to meeting some sikh guy and his family? He may have many positives but the one major negative which negates all his positives is that in this moment of time he is a kafir.

                                Honestly if i was in your shoes? Then i would have firstly set the foundations straight for my child, teaching the difference between eeman and kufr. Secondly, if as a grown up my child came to me and relayed the story you told us i would advise her on what is right and what is wrong, if that did not work - i would sever bonds with her. Your child is an adult and therefore is accountable for her own sins, do not commit zulm upon your own self by seeming to excuse her actions
                                82. Verily, when He intends a thing, His Command is, "be", and it is! 83. So glory to Him in Whose hands is the dominion of all things: and to Him will you be all brought back. Quran surah 36: Ya-sin

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