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My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

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  • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    Originally posted by -Shamil- View Post
    does it?

    is there an epidemic of muslim girls who wear hijab and pray wanting to marry kafir men?
    Sorry, I meant the whole "my daughter was practising before she met this boy, its all this boy's fault... he's leading her astray!"

    Boy = either Muslim/non-Muslim

    Re. the girls being practising: lots of girls perform Salaah and wear hijaab, so they're seemingly practising but then you'll see they have boyfriends and actually despite their upbringing, know little about Islam beyond rituals. Just like those boys I used to go to school and college with who are dressed in thobes on Fridays, part of the college Isoc, constantly debate about religion in classes and yet they're the ones you'll see with girlfriends or constantly flirting.

    Also, not all non-Muslim men are so, Idk how to describe it, but not all of them do as many haraam things as many of the Muslims you know do... for someone who is not entirely practising (i.e. has been brought up religious, makes an effort to pray and wear hijaab/scarf), often this helps justify their liking of such people. I know, because I know girls who've been in such situations (for the record though, not as bad as this scenario, however, the point stands).
    Last edited by Soliloquy; 16-06-12, 06:54 PM. Reason: error
    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
    O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
    We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

    Comment


    • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

      Originally posted by -Shamil- View Post
      does it?

      is there an epidemic of muslim girls who wear hijab and pray wanting to marry kafir men?
      I know of many muslim girls who do this yes. Some in time do not wear the Hijab and would become as some would call non-practising and let their children grow up with no religion.

      Comment


      • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

        Originally posted by Soliloquy View Post
        Sorry, I meant the whole "my daughter was practising before she met this boy, its all this boy's fault... he's leading her astray!"

        Boy = either Muslim/non-Muslim

        Re. the girls being practising: lots of girls perform Salaah and wear hijaab, so they're seemingly practising but then you'll see they have boyfriends and actually despite their upbringing, know little about Islam beyond rituals. Just like those boys I used to go to school and college with who are dressed in thobes on Fridays, part of the college Isoc, constantly debate about religion in classes and yet they're the ones you'll see with girlfriends or constantly flirting.

        Also, not all non-Muslim men are so, Idk how to describe it, but not all of them do as many haraam things as many of the Muslims you know do... for someone who is not entirely practising (i.e. has been brought up religious, makes an effort to pray and wear hijaab/scarf), often this helps justify their liking of such people. I know, because I know girls who've been in such situations (for the record though, not as bad as this scenario, however, the point stands).
        Religirting?
        Not knowing what one doesn't know will lead to difficulty

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        • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

          Originally posted by Fairy View Post
          If this story is true, then Aleeza is the girls sister as I dont think a parent would be lolling. The parent would have a heart attack especially if they brought their children up with Islamic values and education.

          The mum and dad would be in hospital.
          I know a real life case where the girl married a Sikh, she was brought up in a loving Muslim home, had religious education (though not Islamic school, I don't think we had Islamic schools here back then, and not hijabi), knew her religion and culture, and was adored by her parents. Family was active in the mosque and she attended classes there regularly.

          Anyway, she never tried to justify it saying that sikhs have a name of God, Allah,so that makes it ok (like the girl in this case), and parents did not have the attitude of the boy is a saint and muslim men are nogood, like has been suggested here

          All the parents wanted was for him to convert, but he didn't have interest, and she really didn't seem to have much interest in him converting, either. Anyway, the parents didn't have the attitude of I did what I could, I give up and accept it, like to op seems to, they kept trying to encourage him to convert, and am sure were doing lots and lots of dua,

          Anyway soon after this the father developed a mystery illness in his chest and died, basically he seemed to have died from a broken heart.

          Comment


          • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

            Originally posted by Insomnia View Post
            I know of many muslim girls who do this yes. Some in time do not wear the Hijab and would become as some would call non-practising and let their children grow up with no religion.
            now i know why women should go out with mahrams - if your gonna fall in "love" and sacrifice your deen and akhirah for the first kafir that shows you any attention, you gotta be seriously weak and pathetic

            Comment


            • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

              What is the censorship? I posted honest and fair comment but it's deleted. Now you want to comfort the evil doers?

              Comment


              • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                no it was me i reported your post because it contained personal insults.

                Please show me and example from sunnah where personal insults were used as a method for naseehah.

                Recipes for all the family :inlove:
                (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

                Comment


                • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                  Originally posted by Jannah7 View Post
                  I know a real life case where the girl married a Sikh, she was brought up in a loving Muslim home, had religious education (though not Islamic school, I don't think we had Islamic schools here back then, and not hijabi), knew her religion and culture, and was adored by her parents. Family was active in the mosque and she attended classes there regularly.

                  Anyway, she never tried to justify it saying that sikhs have a name of God, Allah,so that makes it ok (like the girl in this case), and parents did not have the attitude of the boy is a saint and muslim men are nogood, like has been suggested here

                  All the parents wanted was for him to convert, but he didn't have interest, and she really didn't seem to have much interest in him converting, either. Anyway, the parents didn't have the attitude of I did what I could, I give up and accept it, like to op seems to, they kept trying to encourage him to convert, and am sure were doing lots and lots of dua,

                  Anyway soon after this the father developed a mystery illness in his chest and died, basically he seemed to have died from a broken heart.
                  YA ALLAH

                  Comment


                  • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                    Originally posted by Future Sheikh View Post
                    What is the censorship? I posted honest and fair comment but it's deleted. Now you want to comfort the evil doers?
                    Insulting people is against forum rules, you insulted someone, you got moderated. If you have a problem with that, either stop insulting people or discuss the issue with the moderators in private in "help centre"
                    [CENTER]
                    [/CENTER]
                    [CENTER]
                    [/CENTER]

                    [SIZE=1][COLOR=dimgray]
                    [/COLOR][/SIZE]

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                    • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                      Okay so here's what happened on Saturday:

                      We met there in the evening, the boy and his parents were there before us. It didn't happen in the open like some people think, it happened in a "counselling" room away from everyone else. Basically, the "priests" wanted to hear both sides of the story and see if we could come to an agreement. We started, saying that we are Muslims and that in our religion Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men. That is reason enough for us to be against it and we said if this boy seriously thought about Islam and became Muslim for Allah's sake then we would accept him marrying our daughter, but it would need to be after at least 6 months of extensive education at the Masjid.

                      His parents said they that do not know what to think about the marriage but feel where we are coming from and think that it might be a good idea for this relationship to end.

                      Very quickly it got heated in the room, my husband and my son especially yelling at the boy, calling him names and expressing their dissent. I was surprised to see his parents getting irritated as well, at one point his father telling him to leave our daughter because he's wasting everyone's time. Even though my daughter is just, if not more at fault, he got 90% of the blame and yelling and hatred but he just sat there and took it all in and calmy replied to everything that was thrown at him. You could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't angry or frustrated by what was being said to him, just disappointed.

                      When it was his turn to talk, he looked at us and said he apologizes for any negative feelings we may hold, but he is not going to break things off with our daughter. He did not feel it was fair that we weren't even willing to give him a chance just because he is non-Muslim. He said that no matter what happens, whether he and my daughter are still a part of our lives after the marriage or they move somewhere far away, he wants us to know that he will always be there for her, love her more and more each and every single day and do everything he could possibly need to to keep her happy, to which she replied that they could be living in a shack, as long as he was by her side she would always be happy.

                      My daughter said she loved him and separating them would be like cutting open her chest, taking her heart out and shredding it into pieces. All she wants is for us to give her and her "future husband" our blessings and leave the rest up to them and she knew they would be fine forever because God would be watching over them and protecting them. After saying this she was tearing up a bit and he comforted her, holding her hand and putting her head on his shoulder and telling her everything was going to be all right.

                      She did, at one point, ask the boy's parents what they would do if she married their son. They said if it happened then they would only wish them all the happiness in the world and they would accept her and love her like their own daughter, but that they would be very disappointed if this happened without our approvement and felt she should take what her parents (us) were saying into consideration, which she said she had already done.

                      The priests spent time warning them of the difficulties of interreligious marriage but they said they had already come to an agreement on how any future children would be raised.

                      The priests mentioned that if they do choose to get married at the Gurdwara then they would be united in front of the Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh Holy Book) and their souls will have merged into one in the eyes of God. However, they still felt it would be better if parents from both sides were present to bless their children's union and wish them the best of luck in their life journey.

                      After everything was said and done, it was very awkward, nobody spoke but the boy and my daughter got up and left together. Before all the parents left, the priests pulled the boy's parents off to the side and told them that this was obviously very hard on me and my husband and the priests still felt it would be best if the boy's parents put more pressure on the boy to break things off. During the session his parents' attitude had obviously changed because by the end of it they were very understanding and were for the most part on our side. They promised that they would do their best to try to get their son to break this off before any formal date for the wedding had been established.

                      So there you have it, I didn't expect either the boy or my daughter to agree to cut it off at the Gurdwara, but I was hoping that we could convince her parents into coming to our side, which has happened, so the hope is now that the boy will break easier than our daughter and cut things off with her.

                      But the marriage would happen at the Gurdwara if the two of them decided to go ahead and the priests said that they would be united with God's grace and that as long as they truly did love each other with all their hearts and were committed to each other then there was nothing to worry about and that God would protect them.
                      Last edited by Aleeza; 19-06-12, 02:29 AM.

                      Comment


                      • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                        dunno if your a troll or not, but this makes me physically sick. Astaghfiruallah. Disgusting
                        82. Verily, when He intends a thing, His Command is, "be", and it is! 83. So glory to Him in Whose hands is the dominion of all things: and to Him will you be all brought back. Quran surah 36: Ya-sin

                        Comment


                        • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                          Originally posted by Sis_Asiya View Post
                          dunno if your a troll or not, but this makes me physically sick. Astaghfiruallah. Disgusting
                          How is this post by Sis_Asiya not a personal insult?She needs to be cautioned or sanctioned as well.You might disagree with Aleeza but you've no justification for this post of yours.It is important for you to know that while you have the RIGHT,there is no obligation for you to post on every thread!!

                          Comment


                          • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                            Originally posted by usman74 View Post
                            How is this post by Sis_Asiya not a personal insult?She needs to be cautioned or sanctioned as well.You might disagree with Aleeza but you've no justification for this post of yours.It is important for you to know that while you have the RIGHT,there is no obligation for you to post on every thread!!
                            grow up! SubhanAllah. Oh and blame insomnia. Joy of joys.

                            And as for the "personal insult" blah part, what planet are you on? I personally do find it disgusting that a supposed muslim woman is considering marrying a kafir. So sue me
                            82. Verily, when He intends a thing, His Command is, "be", and it is! 83. So glory to Him in Whose hands is the dominion of all things: and to Him will you be all brought back. Quran surah 36: Ya-sin

                            Comment


                            • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                              Originally posted by aleeza View Post
                              okay so here's what happened on saturday:

                              We met there in the evening, the boy and his parents were there before us. It didn't happen in the open like some people think, it happened in a "counselling" room away from everyone else. Basically, the "priests" wanted to hear both sides of the story and see if we could come to an agreement. We started, saying that we are muslims and that in our religion muslim women are not allowed to marry non-muslim men. That is reason enough for us to be against it and we said if this boy seriously thought about islam and became muslim for allah's sake then we would accept him marrying our daughter, but it would need to be after at least 6 months of extensive education at the masjid.

                              His parents said they that do not know what to think about the marriage but feel where we are coming from and think that it might be a good idea for this relationship to end.

                              Very quickly it got heated in the room, my husband and my son especially yelling at the boy, calling him names and expressing their dissent. I was surprised to see his parents getting irritated as well, at one point his father telling him to leave our daughter because he's wasting everyone's time. Even though my daughter is just, if not more at fault, he got 90% of the blame and yelling and hatred but he just sat there and took it all in and calmy replied to everything that was thrown at him. You could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't angry or frustrated by what was being said to him, just disappointed.

                              When it was his turn to talk, he looked at us and said he apologizes for any negative feelings we may hold, but he is not going to break things off with our daughter. He did not feel it was fair that we weren't even willing to give him a chance just because he is non-muslim. He said that no matter what happens, whether he and my daughter are still a part of our lives after the marriage or they move somewhere far away, he wants us to know that he will always be there for her, love her more and more each and every single day and do everything he could possibly need to to keep her happy, to which she replied that they could be living in a shack, as long as he was by her side she would always be happy.

                              My daughter said she loved him and separating them would be like cutting open her chest, taking her heart out and shredding it into pieces. All she wants is for us to give her and her "future husband" our blessings and leave the rest up to them and she knew they would be fine forever because god would be watching over them and protecting them. After saying this she was tearing up a bit and he comforted her, holding her hand and putting her head on his shoulder and telling her everything was going to be all right.

                              She did, at one point, ask the boy's parents what they would do if she married their son. They said if it happened then they would only wish them all the happiness in the world and they would accept her and love her like their own daughter, but that they would be very disappointed if this happened without our approvement and felt she should take what her parents (us) were saying into consideration, which she said she had already done.

                              The priests spent time warning them of the difficulties of interreligious marriage but they said they had already come to an agreement on how any future children would be raised.

                              The priests mentioned that if they do choose to get married at the gurdwara then they would be united in front of the guru granth sahib (sikh holy book) and their souls will have merged into one in the eyes of god. However, they still felt it would be better if parents from both sides were present to bless their children's union and wish them the best of luck in their life journey.

                              After everything was said and done, it was very awkward, nobody spoke but the boy and my daughter got up and left together. Before all the parents left, the priests pulled the boy's parents off to the side and told them that this was obviously very hard on me and my husband and the priests still felt it would be best if the boy's parents put more pressure on the boy to break things off. During the session his parents' attitude had obviously changed because by the end of it they were very understanding and were for the most part on our side. They promised that they would do their best to try to get their son to break this off before any formal date for the wedding had been established.

                              So there you have it, i didn't expect either the boy or my daughter to agree to cut it off at the gurdwara, but i was hoping that we could convince her parents into coming to our side, which has happened, so the hope is now that the boy will break easier than our daughter and cut things off with her.

                              But the marriage would happen at the gurdwara if the two of them decided to go ahead and the priests said that they would be united with god's grace and that as long as they truly did love each other with all their hearts and were committed to each other then there was nothing to worry about and that god would protect them.
                              loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

                              troll allerttttttt



                              OOOOOOOOMGG Just close this thread already, Look at this post seriously... This cannot be the mother of the child. I wouldn't be suprised if its the daughter herself.
                              La illaha ilallah

                              Comment


                              • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                                Originally posted by blanchoir View Post
                                loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

                                troll allerttttttt



                                OOOOOOOOMGG Just close this thread already, Look at this post seriously... This cannot be the mother of the child. I wouldn't be suprised if its the daughter herself.
                                You're kidding me right? Where was I trying to justify the marriage? Where did I really even give a personal opinion? All I did was try my best to describe what happened, yeah there's some mushy stuff in there too and maybe some people would have left it out but I didn't because I feel it was important to know before going forward. Seriously, either say something useful or shut your mouth and gtfo. No one is forcing you to post in here.

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