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My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

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  • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

    why is your daughter being a hypocrite?

    she doesn't want to raise her children as practising muslims? But she has the audacity to teach Islam to other people's children in an Islamic school? And you don't see anything wrong with this?

    Does the so called "Islamic school" knows about your daughter marrying a kaffir?

    Does your masjid, Imam and the 'knowledgeable brothers" who tried to talk to convert the guy to islam, tried to speak some sense to your daughter?

    You don't see anything wrong with your daughter teaching at an "islamic school" while holding such views?

    By dismissing the shariah rules about a muslima not allowed to marry a kaffir, do you know what actually she is doing? In reality, she is dismissing/rejecting all those verses of Qur'an in which Allah swt has commanded to not to marry a kaffir.

    So do you know what is the status of a person who dismisses/rejects/denies the verses of Qur'an?

    Something for you to ponder over and discuss with your daughter
    لا أريد مِنْكُمْ جَزَاء وَلا شُكُورًا

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    • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

      Originally posted by truepath View Post
      why is your daughter being a hypocrite?

      she doesn't want to raise her children as practising muslims? But she has the audacity to teach Islam to other people's children in an Islamic school? And you don't see anything wrong with this?

      Does the so called "Islamic school" knows about your daughter marrying a kaffir?

      Does your masjid, Imam and the 'knowledgeable brothers" who tried to talk to convert the guy to islam, tried to speak some sense to your daughter?

      You don't see anything wrong with your daughter teaching at an "islamic school" while holding such views?

      By dismissing the shariah rules about a muslima not allowed to marry a kaffir, do you know what actually she is doing? In reality, she is dismissing/rejecting all those verses of Qur'an in which Allah swt has commanded to not to marry a kaffir.

      So do you know what is the status of a person who dismisses/rejects/denies the verses of Qur'an?

      Something for you to ponder over and discuss with your daughter
      Yes we took her to the Masjid multiple times and she talked to a lot of people including the Imam.

      She said the school would not fire her for marrying a non-Muslim, this was one of the first things we tried.

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      • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

        parents should do thorough checks into what sort of 'islamic' school they are sending their children to.
        Last edited by cho09082489; 13-06-12, 01:15 AM.

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        • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

          Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
          Those "beliefs" I posted above are the guys not my daughters. She says she still believes in Islam and it's teachings (except the Muslim women only being allowed to marry Muslim men one of course). She condemns homosexuality and adultery and all the rest etc... why does she feel so comfortable marrying someone like that? Because she says that as they live in a non-Muslim country none of this stuff is illegal anyways so there's no point in bickering over it, like if they found out a guy cheated on his wife or a woman cheated on her husband they aren't going to have a debate over whether the police should kill him/her because she already knows it'll never happen. Shariah is not the law in this country so she isn't getting too hung up over it. As for the rest like him not believing that any prophet got actual revelations or him believing in evolution, she says that those are personal beliefs and they have both agreed to keep them to themselves and not force them on the other person. The children will get a secular education, won't be raised practicing Muslims but will still be taught about Islam, and in the end they can decide which one seems more logical/which one has more proof etc... She is 'religious", just doesn't think that Muslim women should be prevented from marrying non-Muslim men because she feels that God wouldn't get in the way of two people who love each other.
          Well, clearly, like I said, your daughter may have went to X school or teach in Y location, but that does not mean she is religious or even knowledgeable. If she were, she would know that in the Qur'an Allah rebukes some of the exact mentalities you listed above.

          The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: There will come out from my nation a group of people who's desires will run through them like rabies runs through the one who is suffering from it. It will not leave a vain or a joint alone except there desires will enter it.

          Meaning there desires, not Allah or Islam, will enter every joint (not meaning that they don't have issues, because everyone has shortcomings at different stages in their life, but meaning that every major life style choice they make is an issue/shortcomming) and it (their desires) is going to be the deciding factor on what they decide to do , and it is the one that is going to lead them left or right, front and back. Not Allah. Not Islam. Not the Prophet(SWS).

          Unforntunatly she's one of these. And these are a far cry from what the 'religious' or even 'semi-religious' people are described as.
          Last edited by Glow; 13-06-12, 01:18 AM.

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          • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

            Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
            Yes we took her to the Masjid multiple times and she talked to a lot of people including the Imam.

            She said the school would not fire her for marrying a non-Muslim, this was one of the first things we tried.
            she seems to have a very wrong idea of islamic beliefs inspite of going to Islamic school she did not get a good Islamic education, her foundation is totally off
            even if someone else calls God Allah, if that is what this boy does, it doesn't make them muslim, the basics of shahada include accepting Muhammad (s) as a messenger of God

            did you do the things I advised you before, what does she think of the story of the Prophets (s) daughter who had to separate from her beloved husband, how does that fit in with her theory that "God wouldn't get in the way of two people who love each other."

            and it sounds like she is planning to marry in July/August Ramadan? Will she be fasting?
            Even if the school doesn't fire her (maybe they can't legally) if she has any decency she should resign, she can work in any nonreligious school, she should have the decency that if she can't practice muslim values she shouldn't voluntarily take a position where she is a role model for muslim children

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            • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

              Originally posted by Jannah7 View Post
              she seems to have a very wrong idea of islamic beliefs inspite of going to Islamic school she did not get a good Islamic education, her foundation is totally off
              even if someone else calls God Allah, if that is what this boy does, it doesn't make them muslim, the basics of shahada include accepting Muhammad (s) as a messenger of God

              did you do the things I advised you before, what does she think of the story of the Prophets (s) daughter who had to separate from her beloved husband, how does that fit in with her theory that "God wouldn't get in the way of two people who love each other."

              and it sounds like she is planning to marry in July/August Ramadan? Will she be fasting?
              Even if the school doesn't fire her (maybe they can't legally) if she has any decency she should resign, she can work in any nonreligious school, she should have the decency that if she can't practice muslim values she shouldn't voluntarily take a position where she is a role model for muslim children
              Of the story she said that it may have been necessary in the 7th century but definitely not the 21st century. Religion, according to her, is a provate matter, and you shouldn't reject someone just because they have different beliefs, as long as both partners can respect that.

              I can only imagine that she will be fasting, hasn't said she won't.

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              • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
                Those "beliefs" I posted above are the guys not my daughters. She says she still believes in Islam and it's teachings (except the Muslim women only being allowed to marry Muslim men one of course). She condemns homosexuality and adultery and all the rest etc... why does she feel so comfortable marrying someone like that? Because she says that as they live in a non-Muslim country none of this stuff is illegal anyways so there's no point in bickering over it, like if they found out a guy cheated on his wife or a woman cheated on her husband they aren't going to have a debate over whether the police should kill him/her because she already knows it'll never happen. Shariah is not the law in this country so she isn't getting too hung up over it. As for the rest like him not believing that any prophet got actual revelations or him believing in evolution, she says that those are personal beliefs and they have both agreed to keep them to themselves and not force them on the other person. The children will get a secular education, won't be raised practicing Muslims but will still be taught about Islam, and in the end they can decide which one seems more logical/which one has more proof etc... She is 'religious", just doesn't think that Muslim women should be prevented from marrying non-Muslim men because she feels that God wouldn't get in the way of two people who love each other.

                .
                Aleeza, what do you think of the bit in bold - does that not send shivers down your spine? These are your future grandchildren, your blood and your gonna potentially condemn them to an eternity in the hellfire - why?

                and please stop repeating that your daughter is "religious" - a woman that is willing to sacrifice her children to an eternity of torment just cos she got the hots for a kafir is not religious - talk some sense to her or make her choose between your family and him...thats when the reality of the choice she is making will hit her

                your families wishy-washy attitude is probably encouraging her even more- be firm and put your foot down and let her make the choice

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                • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                  Marriage to a non-muslim man is invalid ,it makes your daughter a disbeliever. To be honest her actions leading up to this have proven her to be one. I just don't understand how a relationship can go on for that long and no one knew about it? La hawla wala qwatta ila biAllah. We live in such times of ignorance and sin.
                  I am really sorry for your situation I am sure as a mom you obviously tried your best to raise her well and wish her nothing but the best ..we all go astray at some part of our lives and ask Allah to guide us back. It seem like your daughter knows wrong from right but "love" got in the way may Allah forgive her.

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                  • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                    Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
                    Of the story she said that it may have been necessary in the 7th century but definitely not the 21st century. Religion, according to her, is a provate matter, and you shouldn't reject someone just because they have different beliefs, as long as both partners can respect that.

                    I can only imagine that she will be fasting, hasn't said she won't.
                    You might want to explain to her its actually the opposite, in fact it was probably more necessary back then for a woman to be married and stay with her husband, in modern times its common to have single mothers,divorces, separations, independent career women,
                    whereas centuries ago a woman's whole life often revolved around her husband, yet in spite of that our Prophet (s) daughter had to separate from a husband who was a wonderful person and she greatly loved

                    Islam is supposed to be timeless, we aren't supposed to say parts of it were only necessary in the 7th century

                    And thinking that you should not reject someone as a spouse because they have different beliefs basically goes totally against what we are taught in the Quran, according to that line of reasoning you can even marry an idol worshipper and give kids the choice of whether or not to believe in one God or worship idols as it is "a private matter"
                    obviously this is totally against the Quran
                    does she think her kids will enter Jannah if they decide to be atheist, idol worshippers, or some other religion? and doesn't she think she will be questioned about it on Judgement Day?

                    I'm sure she has read 2:221
                    "Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise."

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                    • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                      Originally posted by -Shamil- View Post
                      Aleeza, what do you think of the bit in bold - does that not send shivers down your spine? These are your future grandchildren, your blood and your gonna potentially condemn them to an eternity in the hellfire - why?

                      and please stop repeating that your daughter is "religious" - a woman that is willing to sacrifice her children to an eternity of torment just cos she got the hots for a kafir is not religious - talk some sense to her or make her choose between your family and him...thats when the reality of the choice she is making will hit her

                      your families wishy-washy attitude is probably encouraging her even more- be firm and put your foot down and let her make the choice
                      I am not condemning anyone to anything; I've done all I could, it's her choice.

                      She's already chosen him over us. She's more ****ed off than anything else that her parents and brother keep nagging at her about this. She said the only reason everyone is making such a big issue out of this is because she just so happened to be born to Muslim parents. Had we been prety much anything else, "nobody would care". So she says she just wants to be left alone.

                      Comment


                      • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                        Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
                        I am not condemning anyone to anything; I've done all I could, it's her choice.

                        She's already chosen him over us. She's more ****ed off than anything else that her parents and brother keep nagging at her about this. She said the only reason everyone is making such a big issue out of this is because she just so happened to be born to Muslim parents. Had we been prety much anything else, "nobody would care". So she says she just wants to be left alone.
                        the greatest blessing have is imaan - so if she's ****ed off that her parents follow islam as it supposed to be followed - it shows she;s teetering over the edge between islam and kufr

                        anyway like i said - make her choose, between her parents and a kafir - its the only way you'll drill it home that a lifetime of zina and potentially kafir children are not spmething you'll go along with

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                        • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                          Originally posted by -Shamil- View Post
                          the greatest blessing have is imaan - so if she's ****ed off that her parents follow islam as it supposed to be followed - it shows she;s teetering over the edge between islam and kufr

                          anyway like i said - make her choose, between her parents and a kafir - its the only way you'll drill it home that a lifetime of zina and potentially kafir children are not spmething you'll go along with
                          Unfortunately I think that she's already made her decision ;(

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                          • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                            Originally posted by Aleeza View Post
                            Unfortunately I think that she's already made her decision ;(
                            you didnt give her the ultimatum - she thinks she can have the best of both worlds - her kafir man and her parents

                            making her choose will think twice - its the only way you can get through to her and understand the consequences of what will happen if she follows through with it

                            if she chooses you then alhumdullilah you have your daughter back - if not, unfortunately you have to deal with...none of this is your fault so the blame doesnt lie with you

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                            • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                              This is why I never want daughters.

                              What a horrible experience this must be for you.

                              Once they go out of bounds, there is no telling what they'll do. I have a cousin who does what she wants and when she wants. She never prays, but comes from a fairly religious family. She dresses worse than non-Muslims and always goes out the house, including hanging around with boys. She also smokes weed.

                              Awful. Just awful.

                              Worst of all, your daughter seemingly has zero respect for you and won't at all listen to you. I feel sorry for you. I think your husband really needs to visit the guy, give him a few slaps, and tell him to never be with his daughter again. He will need to physically grab your daughter and bring her home, and ground her from going outside the house. That is all I can think of.

                              LOCK HER UP. I'M SERIOUS. LOCK HER UP.

                              Then from there, you can slowly try to re-educate. Does your daughter really want to sacrifice her life for one man? Does he really want to sacrifice her religion for one man?
                              Last edited by oz99; 13-06-12, 12:13 PM.

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                              • Re: My daughter is marrying a non-Muslim man!!

                                AsSalaamu Alaikum Sister Aleeza,

                                Your daughter(may Allah guide her) has made it clear to you that she's open to the possibility your grandchildren being Muslim or Stone-Cold Kaffirs. We have heard over and over how much you love your Daughter... But is she more beloved to you then your whole family and future progeny and their station in the hereafter?? More Importantly is she More Beloved to you the Allah (swt) and his Deen??? Ponder deeply at your answer Sister Aleeza. *Fear Allah

                                The very fact that her relationship with this Kafir Man ( he ain't a *boy that just fits into the whole fairy tale narrative, rather he is a grown- *Kaffir Male whose only principle is to Follow his Evil Desires with Immunity) has been going on for 5 whole years and that she didn't tell you, means she did have a level of shame about her relationship and that she was afraid of your family's Reaction. (i.e. Her father beating her or him, you disowning her, etc) Secondly, the fact that your own supposed motherly instincts was unable to detect this relationship for 5 long years testifies the fact that you have been far too naive. You cannot claim to know what your daughter wants and what makes her happy if you weren't even aware of what she was already having. This naivity throws your commentary about this "Angel Kafir Boy" out the window. *Your reaction was So weak, seeking to meet the Kafir Dude, even crying at his bollywood love story for your daughter. Satan doesn't come to a person with rotten teeth and ugly horns, but he comes in the form of handsome smiling men, and courteous speech to mislead you. * Your reactions makes her even less shamed and less fearful of the once consequences from her Family. Of course you should be persistent and concentrate on bringing her peers, her imam and even employers to discuss the sin of her actions and exert pressure on her. If she insist on performing her contract of Zina... Then know that she wants you to accept her evil and she is only following her evil desires and wishes for you to do the same.

                                It is obvious that you have never put down your foot, by giving her what she fears through disownment. *Zina destroys families and generations, and returns people to jahilliyyah, if someone is adamant on the destruction of your family structure and household, then surely they are your enemy. *It is better for you to have a 100 external enemies then just 1 enemy inside your very home. *You should be firm and discuss potential social boycott with your husband and son in regards to your daughter. *Maybe if you take the lead and express willingness to resort to such a drastic measure the rest of your family will support you. If you feel helpless, then understand that most Muslim Fathers and Brothers would *feel practically castrated in this scenario. Obviously your daughter is blind and ungrateful of the love she receives from you all as a family. Boycotting her will make her realize how much she is making a mistake. Just like when there is no *hot water for a shower, only then can one appreciate the return to a hot shower.

                                Whenever anyone suggest Boycott and kicking your daughter out of the House you Dismiss those suggestions on the basis that Islam prohibits breaking family ties. We know that the Mother of the Believers Aisha (ra) was accused of zina by the munafiqeen in Medina... Due to this the Prophet (sas) acted cold towards her, and spoke to her only in the third person, it was even to the extent that she felt compelled to leave the house and stay instead with her parents..Of course Allah(swt) exonerated and purified her of such actions....now I ask you what about your daughter, who will publicly declare what amounts to Zina According to Allah azza wa jall? What about the Prophets and all their disassociation from the sins of their people and even the people within their households? *If you don't take a stance, your daughter may lead you and your whole family astray to one legitimize her Zina. Which one is worse the sinner or the sinner who uses Islam to justify their sins?

                                Lets say for example an imam ascended the pulpit in a pink pimp suit and *pink fedora hat? What would we do? We would toss him from the pulpit and send him packing, saying does this Phoney expect us Muslims to accept him and his mockery and sham in our Masjid??? Like wise when your daughter and her Kaffir partner make a mockery of your household and your dinner table, are you gonna accept this sham and phoney marriage in your household?*

                                She has the disease of Satanic Love which makes her to see a great evil as a benefit, this Satanic Love is something developed over a long 5 year period, so do not expect a quick remedy in the treatment of this disease. *Only Allah can cure her so ask Allah constantly as he is the best of healers and purifiers. *If you can't control your grown daughter then you can at least control your reaction, So stomp out any notion that she can have the best of both worlds. The notion that her Family will grow to accept him and her together and her social life and family relationships and career will continue all unscathed.

                                May Allah Guide you, your daughter and all your Family and all the Muslims and save our Communities from this Fitan.
                                Inshallah There are Muslims that will be making dua for you, so increase in yours. What is consulting our advice if you dont constantly ask Allah swt?

                                PS.. As far as Muslim men pretending to be pious in pre marriage engagements propose... I know of just as much if not more Kaffir Men and Women who duped Unsuspecting Gullible Muslims with wedding day Shahadahs, feints of interest to learn *about the Beauty of Islam.... Yeah They got all the Beautiful part but still absolutely No Al-Islam.*

                                Allahu Musta'an

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