Compromising

[Rouz]

:salams

Im not too sure if this has been asked before or brought up in any other threads. We have alot of threads about compromise and unrealistic expectations, cross cultural marriages etc. But I wanted to ask a question which is probably relevant to alot of muslims, born or revert, who live in very isolated communities and have no contacts through which to seek out potentials.

Would people in such situations be willing to compromise a bit more than others, as they know its hard to find potential spouses? Of course it is Allah swt who brings people together, but it is alot harder for those without any contacts. If you were willing to compromise a bit more, what would you compromise on and what wouldnt you?

[.mirror.]

Re: Compromising

:wswrwb:

I think everything can be compromised on to an extent, except deen. So, regardless of where one lives, I think it probably won't have that big of an impact if you're looking for someone who follows the deen closely. Of course, then, there are those who want someone from certain ethnicity, certain height, certain degree, certain income, etc., and these people are making life harder for themselves, even if they live in a big city full of Muslims, because we know even in big cities, it ain't easy finding the right person.

[mademoiselle]

Re: Compromising

well, some compromise you can do and some you may lie to yourself that you can, and you basically can't.
For example, I could never marry someone who smokes. But I wouldn't mind marrying someone who is divorced (but if he wasn't the main problem).
I wouldn't consider marrying someone who doesn't pray, and to whom religion is not the most important thing in the life. Long time ago I gave up on "he might change, with time, under my influence", so it's the best to avoid these things while you still can. I wouldn't marry someone who is always serious, and doesn't get my jokes. etc.etc..