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What should a woman be doing while older kids are at school?

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  • #91
    Re: What should a woman be doing while older kids are at school?

    Low-income mothers are far less likely to be employed than are upper-income mothers (45% vs. 77%), a finding that is repeated with fathers. this is based on household income, so ofcourse if there are two incomes, then you are more likely to have a higher household income, so having a higeher household income means there is less liekly to be a sahmn

    Recipes for all the family :inlove:
    (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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    • #92
      Re: What should a woman be doing while older kids are at school?

      asiya I'm not sure I understand your attitude towards 'not going to/ wanting to learn my deen from sufis' I am not aware of any masjids that are sufi or the such.

      The masjid may follow a paricular madhab ie: hanafi or shafi, and the lessons given may do this too but unless you are going to specific lessons regarding this aspect (sufism) its not really something that is going to be plastered all over the masjids and the lessons they offer?

      I do think you are missing out by not going to these places and going to any lessons that may be available to you. Even if after trying, it did not gauge your interest, you can still meet the sisters who do visit there and make friends and discuss deen and other things that way? I do think 'sufism' is sometimes exagerrated and hyped up, as if people in these masjids will be twirling about after prayers or chanting poems all day long. It really is not that apparent unless you want to get into those specific things, I personally do not let these differences hold me back. If I needed a place to pray and a 'masjid' ie: a building used for prayers was available then yes I will use it without question of 'what do the committe follow?' 'which madhab is the imam?' etc etc.If lessons are offered, I think it is always worthwhile to go a few times to at least try and see whether it is something thatwill appeal to you, you are quite strong in your beliefs thus not easily swayed so going to these won't be something that will change your ideas or anything overnight (in case some people think they will be brainwashed or something!)

      anyway that is my opinion, if a door is open its better to try it then close all doors off because they don't 'seem' suitable.

      naila: I understand that reverts of course will have a hard time, after all you are changing every aspect of your life and basically putting everything you have ever known behind you and starting afresh, I aprreciate this and the difficulties that come with it. But it isn't any easier for a born muslim to go into a new place and make friends than it is a revert. If so, start off small, 1 or 2 friends and build up from there with classes/ lessons you can organise between yourselves. As long as you are getting the spiritual satisfaction and taking some steps towards that goal of knowledge and understanding then it doesn't matter really whether it happens in a group of 3 sisters at one anothers homes or in a masjid with 30 sisters.
      What does 'freedom' mean?

      Does the eagle want to swim in the sea,
      Restricted by the sky?

      Does the fish want to dance on the wind,
      Not enough river to explore?

      Yet the sky is freedom for the bird
      but death for the fish,

      The sea is wide for the fish
      but will engulf the bird.

      We ask for freedom but freedom to do what?
      We can only express our nature as it was created.

      The prayer mat of the earth is freedom,
      freedom from slavery to other than the One,
      Who offers an shoreless ocean of love to swim in
      and a horizon that extends to the next life,
      Yet we chose the prison and call it freedom.

      “All our handling of the child will bear fruit, not only at the moment, but in the adult they are destined to become.” Donate today! http://campaign.justgiving.com/chari...iyahschool2015

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      • #93
        Re: What should a woman be doing while older kids are at school?

        its not an "attitude" hanafi and shafi are types of fiqh not aqeedah, im not ashari in beleif so of course therefore i wouldnt take my deen from them and attend islamic classes there, anyway you and i have been through this so many times over the years, i dont really need to explain, you know its not my thing, just as u dont accept athari aqeedah and each to their own :)

        i want to go to the masjid to learn deen to improve as a muslim, and i have been dissapointed that i havent been able to find shayookh to learn from in my area, and i havent been able to locate anyone anywhere else to learn from that i can travel to yet,islamic knowledge is what i crave in my life, thats how i want to spend my days, i do what i can just now, i read and study everyday and insha Allah i will find somewhere i can go and learn so i can interact with other people, because its not healthy being in the house all the time and having no contact with people and no one to talk to.

        in the meantime like i said im taking matters into my own hands, and looking to find a place and open it specifically for sisters to meet on nutral ground insha Allah, because waiting around for ppl to start acting on islam and include the women and children in the masjid so they can be a part of the community hasnt happened for the last 40 years in so many masjids, and the attitude prevails, and is unlikely to happen anytime soon. there are some good masjids mashaAllah:) but sadly theyre just not in my area.

        im not going to try beat down old closed doors when i know whats going on behind them, im going to open new ones insha Allah.
        Last edited by *asiya*; 29-05-12, 06:55 PM.
        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

        The Prophet :saw: said:

        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

        muslim

        Narrated 'Abdullah:

        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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        • #94
          Re: What should a woman be doing while older kids are at school?

          Originally posted by naila-k View Post
          lol the question was if you dont do that stuff are you lazy?
          Well everyone needs some time to relax with something.

          But really the point is to try to structure your life so that you are doing the most to please Allah. I know it's not easy and sometimes you can feel very demotivated. For me, I simply thing (every minute that passes by is one a minute I can never ever go back to regain to do something good with it).

          This is our only chance to get as much good as possible for our akhira. Once the Day of Judgement arrives that's it. There's no other chance =/.

          Whether you're a brother or sister, that situation is the same!

          So I won't say whether someone is lazy or not, but what I will say is that it is in all our best interests to try to push our nafs to do more especially when not pushing is so much easier in these times.
          If you have any questions feel free to PM me!

          Humililty, Sincerity, and the quest for Truth. There is no purpose in life but to seek the pleasure of Allah.
          There is a possibility a female might use this account to read something!

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          • #95
            Re: What should a woman be doing while older kids are at school?

            Originally posted by ze leetle elper View Post

            naila: I understand that reverts of course will have a hard time, after all you are changing every aspect of your life and basically putting everything you have ever known behind you and starting afresh, I aprreciate this and the difficulties that come with it. But it isn't any easier for a born muslim to go into a new place and make friends than it is a revert. If so, start off small, 1 or 2 friends and build up from there with classes/ lessons you can organise between yourselves. As long as you are getting the spiritual satisfaction and taking some steps towards that goal of knowledge and understanding then it doesn't matter really whether it happens in a group of 3 sisters at one anothers homes or in a masjid with 30 sisters.
            I think you are over simplyfying it sis, the majority of born Muslims know the etiquette of Masjid, now the meaning of the Arabic words used when people talk, Would any born Muslim have an issue walking in to a masjid that they know welcomes women? And a new revert is still finding themselves, they are like a child, they may be unsure of their new life and identity, because they have to change everything about themselves, like the way they interact, they will be less confident.
            and yes start small, but that is the hardest step, finding those 2 or 3 sisters and making them like you and trust you enough, at a time when you dont even know who you are, or what your interests are, and you are not even sure of yourself.

            Recipes for all the family :inlove:
            (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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            • #96
              Re: What should a woman be doing while older kids are at school?

              Women usually have some hobbies, they can do something they enjoy, and weren't able to do while the kids were young, they have some "me time" or just go out shopping, (personally, I love learning new languages, traveling, hiking, biking, running and gym, but it can be any other thing that makes one happy).
              I don't think additional time should pose any problem :) If you are in that stage, I envy you :) Enjoy!

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              • #97
                Re: What should a woman be doing while older kids are at school?

                sis i am not there yet!! another 10 years to go! lol

                Recipes for all the family :inlove:
                (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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                • #98
                  Re: What should a woman be doing while older kids are at school?

                  asiya i like ur suggestion of making a place like that for women to meet, masha allah nice idea may allah give u success with it & let it benefit the community
                  .: Rufaida :.
                  .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
                  http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
                  “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
                  but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
                  ~ Ibn Atallah

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                  • #99
                    Re: What should a woman be doing while older kids are at school?

                    ^^ Ameen sis
                    Allahumma innaa na'udhu bika min an nushrika bika shai-an na'lamuh; wa nastaghfiruka limaa laa na'lam

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