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Living with Mother In Law

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  • Hannahk92
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    Originally posted by aadil77 View Post
    you're lucky she's not making you do all the chores, that's how it is with some paki mils
    And indian. I was told in Indian culture the daughter in laws do everything.

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslimah3000
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    Originally posted by deen1984 View Post
    its because of the haram that wife and brother in law could fall into:

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, when one of his companions wanted an exception to allow the husband’s relatives to enter upon his wife: “The in-law is death.” So we must be more cautious with regard to the husband’s relatives – including his brothers – because of the carelessness that exists with regard to this matter.

    http://islamqa.info/en/ref/47764/brother%20in%20law
    I see .

    But i think many are too stubborn to do something in order to avoid this situation.

    Leave a comment:


  • NadirahAngail
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    Sis Iamamuslimah, I feel for your situation and make sincere dua for you. I think Ebony made some good points already. I think if any change is to come from your MIL, it will have to be bc your husband (her son) spoke to her. It seems that she doesn't respect you as his wife. She could feel threatened by you. She isn't married so her sons are the only men in her life. Let your husband know that you are having a really hard time in this situation and, sihir or not, you NEED him to address his mother about her behavior. As long as he doesn't say anything, she probably thinks he's ok with it, which further empowers her to continue the behavior. Of course, approach in a kind and understanding way, but you must let him know how important this is bc it obvious you are extremely stressed and that's not good for you, your kids or your marriage. I hope this is helpful.

    Leave a comment:


  • deen1984
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    Originally posted by Muslimah3000 View Post
    Why is the brother in law death ?
    its because of the haram that wife and brother in law could fall into:

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, when one of his companions wanted an exception to allow the husband’s relatives to enter upon his wife: “The in-law is death.” So we must be more cautious with regard to the husband’s relatives – including his brothers – because of the carelessness that exists with regard to this matter.

    http://islamqa.info/en/ref/47764/brother%20in%20law

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslimah3000
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    Originally posted by deen1984 View Post
    be careful. the prophet (peace be upon him) said the brother-in law is death. you should not tolerate living like this for long.

    Why is the brother in law death ?

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslimah3000
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    Originally posted by IAmAMuslimah View Post
    its more like someone is jealous of the happy life we have and they sent sihr hate so both me and mil will not live together in peace. Anyway insya allah i will get myself checked, if this will solve the problem, if not then i have to endure living with her maybe another 10? 20? years....
    How can you get yourself checked? and how can some one know if there's sihr or not ? just wondering

    Leave a comment:


  • deen1984
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    Originally posted by IAmAMuslimah View Post
    He (bro in law) just started his own business and he might not afford to buy his own house, n i felt disturbed and annoyed when hes at home alone with me when my MIL is out to mosque. I have to cover myself, wear hijab and cook for my children if i have the chance to or if i dont have to then i will just stay in my room watch tv etc.... .
    be careful. the prophet (peace be upon him) said the brother-in law is death. you should not tolerate living like this for long.

    Leave a comment:


  • aadil77
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    you're lucky she's not making you do all the chores, that's how it is with some paki mils

    Leave a comment:


  • IAmAMuslimah
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    No, you don't Maybe, your husband should save money to get a place, even if it's cheap.
    Salam mirror, i hope so but we have been having this issue since i delivered my daughter and it seems nothing can be changed.
    I think my husband felt the responsibility to take care of his mother who is 62, and i felt that by asking him more by staying on our own will make him more stress even though my brother in law is staying with us. He (bro in law) just started his own business and he might not afford to buy his own house, n i felt disturbed and annoyed when hes at home alone with me when my MIL is out to mosque. I have to cover myself, wear hijab and cook for my children if i have the chance to or if i dont have to then i will just stay in my room watch tv etc.... Im living in asia what with the hot weather, i felt whats the need to wear hijab when you are at your own home... im not complaining, i love the fact wearing hijab is my identity of muslim women. I pray Allah will give me strength and more patient for me to overcome this situation.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    No, you don't Maybe, your husband should save money to get a place, even if it's cheap.

    Leave a comment:


  • IAmAMuslimah
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    its more like someone is jealous of the happy life we have and they sent sihr hate so both me and mil will not live together in peace. Anyway insya allah i will get myself checked, if this will solve the problem, if not then i have to endure living with her maybe another 10? 20? years....

    Leave a comment:


  • naila-k
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    What could be sihr? You mean why the mil is acting like that?

    Leave a comment:


  • zaidfp
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    you cant say its not sihr. you never know. get it checked and if it is treated. Best advice is to try and move out

    Leave a comment:


  • Ebony
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    Carry on doing your tasks, and just ignore her. Let the children play with toys etc. She cant exactly tidy up after them everytime or tell them off everytime can she? She will soon get tired of it and let you get on with it.

    If she is being unreasonable, there is no use in trying to explain why you are doing something. Besides you shouldnt have to explain anyway, you're not a child. Next time she yells its her house, nicely remind her its your house also. There is no need to get involved in arguments with her, since she'll probably just create an exaggerated version and complain to your husband about it. If she does, then dont worry about it he can give her the answer.

    This isnt sihr sister, as there are numerous examples of these kind of mother in laws on this forum and in real life. This is about a woman who is set in her ways and cant bear to see anything change in the house she considers queen of.

    Leave a comment:


  • IAmAMuslimah
    replied
    Re: Living with Mother In Law

    yes, we cant afford to move out even to rent a house. My husband has yet spoke to her but he has been telling me to tell her that i am doing this for my husband
    who request me to do so or because my children need it eg food, space to play their toys however it is difficult for me to even say it let alone to see her shadow
    i will definitely hide in the room till no one is at home then i will quickly do the necessary thing i need to do eg. wash clothes, do laundry. I dont know what comes over me
    i dont even want to speak up, i did so once and she was so angry with me that she screamed saying that this is her house. I nearly asked my husband to let me go as im too
    stress however he keep on assuring me that there is a way out to the problem, he says sihir again. I have tried as you suggest but shes becoming big headed and would insist her way.

    Leave a comment:

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