Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Abusive husbands !!

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Abusive husbands !!

    Salam alaykom,

    What's the reason that makes a husband abuses his wife in any way ? to me it doesn't make sence, since a muslim husband is supposed to have mercy on his wife, and care about her, and cherish her, what can make him transform into a monster, abusing her, using many ways ? could be verbal, or physical abuse.

    I would really like to know your thoughts about that, some brothers look like angels before mariage, once they get married to a certain sister, for an unknown reason ( that i would like to know ) they start abusing their wives, does any brother have an explanation? or maybe a sister ? Is it because the wife abused doesn't have a strong personnaliy, and is quiet weak in front of her husband that he abuses her for not cooking dinner or not washing a sock out of 10 other clean socks ? i would like to understand really !

  • #2
    Re: Abusive husbands !!

    :wswrwb:

    Lack of fear of Allah.
    Short temper + losing control when angry.
    Not being patient enough.

    Some are just complete mental... :wacko:

    May Allah guide us all and protect our sisters.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Abusive husbands !!

      Low self-esteem and the need to exercise power over a weaker person. I doubt it's a temper problem as put the same person infront of a man stronger than him and watch him shiver.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Abusive husbands !!

        ego/insecure.

        This one girl whos husband asked her to do something. She just implied does she really have to do it like a everyday conversation. The husband came over and punched her on the face and knocked her down. I don't understand the full reason behind such action, may be because I am sane.
        "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

        Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Abusive husbands !!

          Unfortunately it is the case that many people back home might be brought up by harsh parents who hit them and scold them much, and so as a result they themselves come out to be very hardened, sometimes harsh. Get them in a good mood though, they can be very friendly and loyal as well, but anger them.... the destructive side surfaces.

          This is mainly for those that have not really contemplated the religion. We do have religious looking people who also have this problem (I'm speaking from my experience in the middle east), but I feel like those people have been brought up to respect rules and regulations of the religion (have beards, wear qamees, pray), but they have not been taught about the finer qualities and the subtleties (gosh I had trouble spelling this word for some reason) when it comes to dealing with others, specifically women/sisters.

          I was listening to a sheikh once speaking, and he was saying how he was over this very nice and hospitable man's house, having tea or for whatever reason. Man's little daughter comes crying to him from inside, he harshly tells her not a word and to go back inside, girl just continues on crying back inside. The sheikh said, that man is a fool. He immediately fell in his eyes. But had he not seen that, the man was just your average very hospitable Muslim.

          Part of the problem in my opinion is that we often boil the religion down to a set of haram things and halal things, kthxbyethasallineedaknow. But we ignore the finer details and all the ahadith about how to deal with others, especially family. These things are not studied nearly as much as things like, the fiqh of fasting, or how some obscure fiqh related issue is resolved. I myself changed a lot when I learned about this stuff, specifically how one should treat daughters/sisters. There's a lot that goes into it, but in general, a lot more softness should be shown to the daughter/sister versus the son/brother.
          والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

          "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Abusive husbands !!

            Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
            :wswrwb:

            Lack of fear of Allah.
            Short temper + losing control when angry.
            Not being patient enough.

            Some are just complete mental... :wacko:

            May Allah guide us all and protect our sisters.
            to add to the above,

            one of the reasons why certain Husbands abuse their wives is because their eyes have wandered to other women ... as stated by Sheikh Hassan Ali, who has dealt with complaints from such people ...

            and Allah knows best what other diseases lurk in their hearts ...


            :jkk:
            http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

            "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

            – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Abusive husbands !!

              Salaam,

              I really do have a low tolerance for brothers being abusive to their children or to their wives. It is a shameful thing but unfortunately many sisters just put up with it hoping to Allah swt that they will change but the might not. I can't stand these type of people.
              "Knowing what you don’t know is more useful than being brilliant.”
              -Charlie Munger
              "It seems that we're better at finding someone to blame for our problems than we are at finding creative solutions to fix them.”
              -Neil deGrasse Tyson

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Abusive husbands !!

                No one respects him so he abuses a woman to feel bigger.

                Sometimes he resents his wife and hates her and thinks she's a burden.

                He never respected her as a human being in the first place.

                PS: :wswrwb:

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Abusive husbands !!

                  walaykum salam,

                  I was reading a few years ago that a mosque in Philly was going to refuse to allow brothers who have been convicted of beating their wives to have a niqah in their mosque. I initially agreed with this, because a sister shouldn't be put in danger by known abuser, but is what they did Islamicly permissible?
                  Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
                  Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

                  You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Abusive husbands !!

                    Originally posted by nousername View Post
                    walaykum salam,

                    I was reading a few years ago that a mosque in Philly was going to refuse to allow brothers who have been convicted of beating their wives to have a niqah in their mosque. I initially agreed with this, because a sister shouldn't be put in danger by known abuser, but is what they did Islamicly permissible?
                    No, one people can change, and two if an adult women get's into a relationship knowing that the person she is marrying has an abusive past that's a choice. She's not a child. No need to be overbearing.

                    I'd also like to know on what authority they made that decision? does it also apply to other crimes?
                    Last edited by purple89; 21-05-12, 05:00 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Abusive husbands !!

                      Some women can make a man really angry, :spunch:





































                      He shouldn't buy her gifts anymore instead of punching her.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Abusive husbands !!

                        Originally posted by Tamaties View Post
                        Some women can make a man really angry, :spunch:

                        What can a woman do to make a man "angry" to the extent of abusing her in your opinion ? ( even if i think there's no reason that allows that )

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Abusive husbands !!

                          Originally posted by purple89 View Post
                          No, one people can change, and two if an adult women get's into a relationship knowing that the person she is marrying has an abusive past that's a choice. She's not a child. No need to be overbearing.

                          I'd also like to know on what authority they made that decision? does it also apply to other crimes?
                          One can change, true, but some one who choose abusing verbally or physically his own spouse, it's more a sickness, and he can't change if he doesn't see a specialist, or get closer to Quran and proper Islam, otherwise, i couldn't agree more with this decision, unless the brother prooves to the mosque that he have been seeing some one in order to recover from his short temper, or bring religious witnesses who can witness on what he says.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Abusive husbands !!

                            Originally posted by Muslimah3000 View Post
                            What can a woman do to make a man "angry" to the extent of abusing her in your opinion ? ( even if i think there's no reason that allows that )
                            Do things he dislikes consistently even if he has told her many times not to.

                            Still he shouldn't punch her, just don't smile at ther and act aloof, and most of all don't notice her when she does something you like, unless she is trying to make up. Just like, oh well what ever or oh you are here I didn't notice. Just be very, very cold, no romance no love, no attention, she will buckle really quick trust me. No need for a punch, besides the punch of a pain will only last a few minutes, silent treatment is perfect, they hate it, well most of them.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Abusive husbands !!

                              Originally posted by cho09082489 View Post
                              No one respects him so he abuses a woman to feel bigger.

                              Sometimes he resents his wife and hates her and thinks she's a burden.

                              He never respected her as a human being in the first place.

                              PS: :wswrwb:
                              That seems to be it.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X