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What makes being UNmarried fard?

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  • What makes being UNmarried fard?

    We all know that certain conditions make marriage fard upon a muslim/muslimah (eg the chance or temptation to fall into zina). However some time ago I was listening to a lecture and the shaykh mentioned that certain conditions make remaining single fard. Since I had a language barrier I was unable to understand what those conditions are or even if the shaykh listed them.

    Does anyone know what these conditions are?

    JAK

  • #2
    Re: What makes being UNmarried fard?

    :salams

    When you know you are not going to fulfill your responsibilities/her rights in a marriage, which are fardh. In that case, better to stay single, until you get yourself together.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    • #3
      Re: What makes being UNmarried fard?

      Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
      :salams

      When you know you are not going to fulfill your responsibilities/her rights in a marriage, which are fardh. In that case, better to stay single, until you get yourself together.
      Is there a convenient list of such responsibilities or is it more of a rhetorical gut-feeling kinda thing?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What makes being UNmarried fard?

        :salams

        WIFE?S RIGHTS
        The following has been written in thuhfat-u-zaujain by Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi R.

        The rights of a wife under the responsibility of a husband are as follows:
        1- husn khulq meaning to come forth with good etiquette and character and to behave well with her.
        2- To tolerate eeza (meaning difficulty from the wife) with moderation.
        3- To be moderate in her modesty meaning do not be suspicious of her and nor totally negligent.
        4- Be moderate in spending. In other words don?t be tight in spending, nor give her permission to spend on useless needs.
        5- Learn the ahkaam of her monthly cycle and teach her, and keep emphases on namaz and deen (religion), and stop her from bidaat as well as from those things which are not jaiz.
        6- If you have more than one wife then have justice and be equal with their rights.
        7- Do intercourse with her to the extent of necessity.
        8- Without her permission do not do azal (coitus interruptus)
        9- According to his ability, he gives her a house to live in.
        10- To let the wife meet with her mahaarim, close relatives, mother, father, uncle, paternal aunt, brother sisters, etc.
        11- Not to disclose secrets of intercourse etc.
        12- Not to hit her except as a last resort and that too within the limits the limits of the Shari?ah.
        13- Not to give her a divorce without need.
        There are many rights of husband and wife from which some are mentioned above. [Imdad-ul-fatawa page185]


        AskImam
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: What makes being UNmarried fard?

          I think the above list is quite vague and inaccurate as people who lack in certain areas on that list can still get married and it wouldn't be haraam or anything. The OP is suggesting that in certain circumstances it would be fard to remain single and not marry which in turn would imply it would be possibly haraam for someone in a certain circumstance to marry. The obvious thing is a prepubescent child would have to remain single until reaching adulthood.

          There are very few situations I can think of in the deen in which it would be considered inappropriate to marry at all especially as the risk of committing haraam such as zina would increase if a person cannot marry. I think it would be inappropriate for a person to marry who is so mentally impaired/retarded that he/she would not be in a position to provide informed consent for a nikah, such as a person with a learning disability who has the mental age of a child and is not mentally competent to understand what a nikah is or what it entails. Such a person might be convinced by the parents to say yes to the imam and consent to a nikah but the consent would be meaningless if the person is not mentally competent to know what it is.

          I'm not suggesting everyone with a learning disability or mental health issue cannot marry as a person with a mild learning disability might still understand some matters and a person with mental illness may still have enough mental capacity to make an informed choice (depending on the nature of the condition he/she has), but in more severe cases where the person is too mentally compromised to make a proper decision, conducting a nikah would be totally inappropriate and potentially ruin the life of both the individual and the spouse.

          That is my own opinion though. I know people make a big deal about being able to provide for a spouse but the Prophet (saw) conducted the marriage of someone who had no money so we can't assume it would be fard for a penniless person to remain single and there are many other things that we have expectations for within a marriage but lacking those things wouldn't necessarily make it haraam for the person to marry or fard to remain single.

          If a Sheikh gave a talk including matters of when it is fard to remain single (a matter which I've never heard of before), then i suggest you ask someone to translate the talk for you cos' we're not aware of such a precedent.
          The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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          • #6
            Re: What makes being UNmarried fard?

            ↑If a penniless person cannot provide the basic necessities, then how will he fulfill his obligation?
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: What makes being UNmarried fard?

              i have never heard of a reason other then having something like aids.

              in the ablove list, if you examine most people marriages, both the husband and wife are falling short in one area or another. its very difficult to fulfill all the rights of the spouse every single day.
              And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

              O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

              JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

              sponsor an orphan

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              • #8
                Re: What makes being UNmarried fard?

                Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
                i have never heard of a reason other then having something like aids.

                .
                I've never heard of the AID's reason.

                But I've heard of reasons such as - mental problems, knows that he will harm his wife or is unable to have sex.
                https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

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                • #9
                  Re: What makes being UNmarried fard?

                  Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
                  I've never heard of the AID's reason.

                  But I've heard of reasons such as - mental problems, knows that he will harm his wife or is unable to have sex.
                  well, having an std is a good reason not to get married im sure ude agree.

                  but yeah, these kind of reasons.
                  And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                  O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                  JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                  sponsor an orphan

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: What makes being UNmarried fard?

                    In my opinion, if a man has AIDS, he should seek to marry someone with AIDS as well so even in the case of having AIDS there are options although they are obviously much more limited options. It's also worth mentioning that some conditions such as hepatitis C can also affect people who are chaste/virgin but still have the potential to be sexually transmittable.

                    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                    ↑If a penniless person cannot provide the basic necessities, then how will he fulfill his obligation?
                    There is a hadith regarding the Prophet (saw) arranging the marriage of a man who had literally no wealth to give his wife, no possessions of value, not even an iron ring but he knew some verses of Quran and that knowledge of Quran was enough as mahr to arrange his marriage.

                    I'm not suggesting that if a man with nothing approaches you to seek the rishta of your female relative (ie sister or daughter) that you just say yes without a care in the world, rather I'm saying it's a strong statement to make that it is 'fard' for such a person to remain single (which implies it would be haraam for the person to marry) when a hadith suggests otherwise.
                    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: What makes being UNmarried fard?

                      Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
                      in the ablove list, if you examine most people marriages, both the husband and wife are falling short in one area or another. its very difficult to fulfill all the rights of the spouse every single day.
                      Yeah, it wasn't supposed to be an exact list. I just posted that as it was something relevant (somewhat).

                      Originally posted by neelu View Post
                      I'm not suggesting that if a man with nothing approaches you to seek the rishta of your female relative (ie sister or daughter) that you just say yes without a care in the world, rather I'm saying it's a strong statement to make that it is 'fard' for such a person to remain single (which implies it would be haraam for the person to marry) when a hadith suggests otherwise.
                      We don't know the full story, though. I mean, how did the Sahaba (RA) provide for her? We can't say that you can marry someone and then not be able to take care of her, because it's your obligation to take care of her.

                      Originally posted by neelu View Post
                      If a Sheikh gave a talk including matters of when it is fard to remain single (a matter which I've never heard of before), then i suggest you ask someone to translate the talk for you cos' we're not aware of such a precedent.
                      Marriage in Islam - Part 1 - Sheikh Shady.

                      I think the Sheikh mentions it, if I remember correctly.
                      Last edited by .mirror.; 23-05-12, 12:05 AM.
                      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                      Comment

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