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Would you marry a Career Woman?

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  • Would you marry a Career Woman?

    Salaams,

    The marriage section really has me intriqued I must admit. I was not aware of the many issues brothers and sisters were facing in the muslim world in regard to marriage. My marriage was quite a quick, simple, no hassles arranged marriage. I have not encountered many of the issues that arise here on the forum, some actually quite crazy.

    Anyway one thing I have noticed as a growing trend is a change in mind shift among women. Most men I have known all my life, most of them decent, religious practicing men, heck even the wayward westward thinking boyfriend/girlfriend type seem to have one thing in common, when its time to marry they all want a housewife. Well the worrying trend is more and more woman are undergoing a mind shift and want careers. We obviously have a serious problem here, which is quite apparent. If most woman want careers and most men want housewives we are soon going to have a problem of massive proportion on our hands.

    When I say career woman I don't mean someone who works part time from home or teaches young kids a fews hours a day. I am talking about the professional career or business woman who works 8 hours or more a day either in a high flying career or a full time business. Anyway, I have always heard this from brothers, but it will be interesting to know the reasons why these brothers choose housewives over career woman. I know, many career woman feel that men are threatened by their progress, but is this actually so???
    34
    Yes - Career woman are a necessity in any society
    17.65%
    6
    Yes - Woman are great at managing careers and family life
    20.59%
    7
    Yes - Only if she works under strict shariah guidelines
    32.35%
    11
    No - I feel threatened she will be the boss in the house
    5.88%
    2
    No - She will struggle to effectively manage home and family
    23.53%
    8
    No - Career woman will erode the fabric of a mulsim society
    14.71%
    5
    No - A womans home is her castle and men are providers
    35.29%
    12
    Last edited by Tamaties; 17-05-12, 07:50 AM.

  • #2
    Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

    I don't want a wife who has a 'high flying business career'. It tends to be haraam in nature in a very immodest environment.

    However, if my wife was in a halal job where she worked 3/4 times a week, I'd clearly prefer that. e.g. Dentist. It's possibly the most flexible job out there. You choose when you want to work, and it pays well.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

      :salams

      Controversial topic. I invite you to do a search and you'll come up with threads on this topic. :insha:

      As for the question, it depends on the career.

      YES NO
      Female doctor CEO of an accounting firm
      Counselor for women Cashier at the local clothing store
      Teacher for girls Going to space
      Just some example...
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

        Sometimes it just the following thinking though: "oh no, mustn't have a wife cleverer than me/earning more than me. That would seriously affect my manhood."

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

          Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
          :salams

          Controversial topic. I invite you to do a search and you'll come up with threads on this topic. :insha:

          As for the question, it depends on the career.

          YES NO
          Female doctor CEO of an accounting firm
          Counselor for women Cashier at the local clothing store
          Teacher for girls Going to space
          Just some example...
          Yes controversial but very important. It seems we are going in different directions. Thanks for the input.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

            Originally posted by flashnazia View Post
            Sometimes it just the following thinking though: "oh no, mustn't have a wife cleverer than me/earning more than me. That would seriously affect my manhood."
            I don't know many men that think like that, but I guess they do exist

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

              Originally posted by Tamaties View Post
              I don't know many men that think like that, but I guess they do exist
              Would they admit it to you though? It takes a lot of honesty and personal intelligence to admit something like that!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

                Originally posted by flashnazia View Post
                Would they admit it to you though? It takes a lot of honesty and personal intelligence to admit something like that!
                Not to strangers no, but among friends and family why not??

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

                  Originally posted by flashnazia View Post
                  Sometimes it just the following thinking though: "oh no, mustn't have a wife cleverer than me/earning more than me. That would seriously affect my manhood."
                  salaams to all

                  what do you mean by cleverer?
                  because there are many very intelligent woman who are housewives & many fools with university degrees

                  Likewise Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) has restricted the emergence of women from the home to the situation of genuine necessity. Ibn Umar (RA.) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam said: 'A woman should not emerge from her home except if she is forced to do so" (Tabrani). Also when emerging out of necessity, the woman is commanded to adopt full Hijaab, which includes the covering of her face.

                  Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) had apportioned the work that pertains to matters outside the home (which includes earning for the family) to Sayyidina Ali {RA.) while the work pertaining to aspects inside the home were allotted to the Queen of Jannah, Hazrath Fatima (RA.) (Zaadul Ma'aad 2/235). Hence it is the man's duty to go out into the world and earn a Halaal living. Thus in a truly Islamic state where women are not found working "shoulder-to-shoulder" with men, the root cause of the illicit liaisons which take place in the working world will be non existent. However, when that ideal situation does not exist, the man who goes out to work must be extra cautious to protect himself. Allah Ta'ala says: "Say to the Believing men that they should lower their gazes (An-Noor: 30)." Also the Hadith clearly states that 'no person should ever be in seclusion with a strange woman. When these and other similar injunctions will be violated then the obvious outcome will be involvement in grievous sins. The solution is thus to eliminate the cause, not to light the fire and then attempt to control it.
                  Indeed, we are living in difficult times. While numerous women venture out into the world merely to maintain a high standard of living, some venture out only to earn their mere daily bread. Hence if it is necessary, Islam has not forbidden a woman from earning. However, it is incumbent that All the laws of the Shari'ah be upheld. Among other aspects, of utmost importance is that she may not expose herself to non-Mahram males (men to whom marriage is permissible}. She should also have sufficient time for her domestic activities and for the caring of her children.


                  and Allah ta'ala knows best
                  jazakallah
                  Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
                  very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

                    Originally posted by flashnazia View Post
                    Sometimes it just the following thinking though: "oh no, mustn't have a wife cleverer than me/earning more than me. That would seriously affect my manhood."
                    False analogy,

                    A sister can be a non-career woman and be cleverer than her husband.

                    I'd advise brothers to avoid marrying a muslimah who gives priority to her career over their duties and obligations laid down by Allah tala and his messenger :saw:

                    :jkk:
                    Last edited by Saif-Uddin; 17-05-12, 10:53 AM.
                    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

                      all depends how career minded they are

                      at work there was this woman who was very heavily pregnant - was walking like a troll shaking up the whole office every time she took a step, she was stuck in her so much work that she only left a day or two before she had her child and she was back a few weeks later

                      He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
                      www.QuranicAudio.com
                      www.Quran.com

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

                        Originally posted by Tamaties View Post
                        when its time to marry they all want a housewife.
                        My cousin is a doctor. She married a doctor.

                        My other cousin is pharmacist. She is engaged to a doctor.

                        My SIL is a teacher in a girls school - but also head of department. She married a Consultant.

                        We have three family friends - two are a doctor. One is a dentist. They all married a doctor.

                        My friend is a Oxford gradate - works in FSA. She married a consultant.

                        My sister works for the NHS. She married a Accountant.

                        My aunty is an accountant. She married my uncle (also an accountant).

                        My other friend is an accountant. She married an accountant.

                        My husband has two cousins (accountants). They also married accountants.

                        One of my friends is a Doctor. She married a lawyer.

                        The other is a lawyer. She married a lawyer.

                        To generalise about the females, all are great cooks, all are fantastic mothers, all keep a immaculate home, all wear the hijaab, all are studying or teaching Arabic, all are studying or teaching Tajweed, all keep a immaculate home, non have maids...

                        To generalise about the men, all have beards, most know Arabic, some do Imamat at the local Mosque, some have travelled for the deen, all are strict with their salaah/riba issues/fasting/free mixing etc etc

                        And ALL are happy in their marriage.
                        Last edited by LondonGal; 17-05-12, 10:43 AM.
                        https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

                          Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
                          My cousin is a doctor. She married a doctor.

                          My other cousin is pharmacist. She is engaged to a doctor.

                          My SIL is a teacher in a girls school - but also head of department. She married a Consultant.

                          We have three family friends - two are a doctor. One is a dentist. They all married a doctor.

                          My friend is a Oxford gradate - works in FSA. She married a consultant.

                          My sister works for the NHS. She married a Accountant.

                          My aunty is an accountant. She married my uncle (also an accountant).

                          My other friend is an accountant. She married an accountant.

                          My husband has two cousins (accountants). They also married accountants.

                          One of my friends is a Doctor. She married a lawyer.

                          The other is a lawyer. She married a lawyer.

                          To generalise about the females, all are great cooks, all are fantastic mothers, all keep a immaculate home, all wear the hijaab, all are studying or teaching Arabic, all are studying or teaching Tajweed, all keep a immaculate home, non have maids...

                          To generalise about the men, all have beards, most know Arabic, some do Imamat at the local Mosque, some have travelled for the deen, all are strict with their salaah/riba issues/fasting/free mixing etc etc

                          And ALL are happy in their marriage.
                          MashaAllah, MashaAllah. That's impressive. May Allah Taala keep it that way, and increase the love and happiness between each couple by manyfold.
                          Shukr to Allah in abundance...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

                            Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
                            My cousin is a doctor. She married a doctor.

                            My other cousin is pharmacist. She is engaged to a doctor.

                            My SIL is a teacher in a girls school - but also head of department. She married a Consultant.

                            We have three family friends - two are a doctor. One is a dentist. They all married a doctor.

                            My friend is a Oxford gradate - works in FSA. She married a consultant.

                            My sister works for the NHS. She married a Accountant.

                            My aunty is an accountant. She married my uncle (also an accountant).

                            My other friend is an accountant. She married an accountant.

                            My husband has two cousins (accountants). They also married accountants.

                            One of my friends is a Doctor. She married a lawyer.

                            The other is a lawyer. She married a lawyer.

                            To generalise about the females, all are great cooks, all are fantastic mothers, all keep a immaculate home, all wear the hijaab, all are studying or teaching Arabic, all are studying or teaching Tajweed, all keep a immaculate home, non have maids...

                            To generalise about the men, all have beards, most know Arabic, some do Imamat at the local Mosque, some have travelled for the deen, all are strict with their salaah/riba issues/fasting/free mixing etc etc

                            And ALL are happy in their marriage.
                            salaams to all

                            every time we play this game
                            going round in circles

                            it comes down to this:
                            Why did you & your relatives & friends study?
                            what was the prime motivation?

                            you lot are seeking worldly knowledge to BE ABLE TO EARN MORE MONEY TO BE ABLE TO MAINTAIN A HIGH STANDARD OF LIVING.
                            thats all
                            wheres the simplicity?

                            its NOT your duty as a muslim woman to go out & work
                            and, seeking of knowledge does NOT mean intermingling with Ghair Mahrams

                            its not like you had no option & there was a gun pointed to your head forcing you to do this
                            if that was the case, then we could all say:
                            "Masha allah, she did the best that she could under the circumstances"

                            your actions go AGAINST the principles of Islam & the examples of those whom you profess to love & follow

                            and Allah ta'ala knows best
                            jazakallah
                            Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
                            very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Would you marry a Career Woman?

                              Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
                              False analogy,

                              A sister can be a non-career woman and be cleverer than her husband.

                              I'd advise brothers to avoid marrying a muslimah who gives priority to her career over their duties and obligations laid down by Allah tala and his messenger :saw:

                              :jkk:
                              I agree

                              Comment

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