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Oppression in Marriage

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  • #16
    Re: Oppression in Marriage

    The Prophet S.A.W. said: if you see someone doing wrong, do something. If not, say something. If not, hate it with your heart.

    Why can't this principle apply to the oppressive husband, the one who verbally and physically abuses his wife?

    I swear to God, if any man would physically harm my sister or my wife, I would clobber his face. I remember when I was in school and a boy merely touched her. I punched him in the face and dropped him to the floor.

    I don't see why anyone would want to even harm their wife in any way shape or form. But it just tells me these men hate women and merely use them a tool to fulfil their desires. Animals.

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    • #17
      Re: Oppression in Marriage

      Originally posted by oz99 View Post
      The Prophet S.A.W. said: if you see someone doing wrong, do something. If not, say something. If not, hate it with your heart.

      Why can't this principle apply to the oppressive husband, the one who verbally and physically abuses his wife?

      I swear to God, if any man would even touch my sister, I would clobber his face. I remember when I was in school and a boy merely touched her. I punched him in the face and dropped him to the floor.
      who said it doesnt apply to the oppressive husband? but it doesnt mean you got to fight with him cos fights wouldnt solve anything here. But talking to an Imam and having sabr is action and if nothign works get a divorce thats why divorce exists

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      • #18
        Re: Oppression in Marriage

        Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
        If it is not his intention to dishearten his wife and wants to do these things to help is wife but is struggling that isn't oppression. That isn't the husbands fault and the wife will Inshallah have patience with her husband
        What if the wife feels as if she is being oppressed instead of making sabr, even though the husband has no such intention?
        I ask cos I know of some wives who complain, my husband doesn't notice me or is doesn't have enough time for me, or doesn't help with the kids etc. Though they don't say they are being oppressed they kinda make it sound that way.

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        • #19
          Re: Oppression in Marriage

          Originally posted by anonymous_mehip View Post
          being passive when you're under abuse is not from Islam, being passive here it not correct and it doesnt make you more "holy". Allah o3lem
          but
          when you see something wrong you are supposed to try to change it, the weakest level of faith is to hate it in your heart but the strongest is the action where you try to stop it.
          Cool, but where do you draw the line?? what if he does it sometimes but not always like when he is frustrated or something, I am talking about verbal abuse not physical eg. say he had a rough day and comes home and wife starts to nag or just says something he doesn't like and he explodes and resorts to insults etc, is it her call to decide?? Would it be acceptable??

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          • #20
            Re: Oppression in Marriage

            Originally posted by oz99 View Post
            The Prophet S.A.W. said: if you see someone doing wrong, do something. If not, say something. If not, hate it with your heart.

            Why can't this principle apply to the oppressive husband, the one who verbally and physically abuses his wife?

            I swear to God, if any man would physically harm my sister or my wife, I would clobber his face. I remember when I was in school and a boy merely touched her. I punched him in the face and dropped him to the floor.

            I don't see why anyone would want to even harm their wife in any way shape or form. But it just tells me these men hate women and merely use them a tool to fulfil their desires. Animals.
            It's good to look out for you sister.

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            • #21
              Re: Oppression in Marriage

              Originally posted by Tamaties View Post
              What if the wife feels as if she is being oppressed instead of making sabr, even though the husband has no such intention?
              I ask cos I know of some wives who complain, my husband doesn't notice me or is doesn't have enough time for me, or doesn't help with the kids etc. Though they don't say they are being oppressed they kinda make it sound that way.
              We don't know the intentions of the husbands some wives may or may not be oppressed we can't make that judgement. If these are friends of your wifes maybe you could suggest your wife to talk to them. It may help them
              ▪️••• 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 •••▪️

              ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

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              • #22
                Re: Oppression in Marriage

                t
                Originally posted by Tamaties View Post
                What if the wife feels as if she is being oppressed instead of making sabr, even though the husband has no such intention?
                I ask cos I know of some wives who complain, my husband doesn't notice me or is doesn't have enough time for me, or doesn't help with the kids etc. Though they don't say they are being oppressed they kinda make it sound that way.
                thats not being oppressed thats lack of communication

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                • #23
                  Re: Oppression in Marriage

                  Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
                  We don't know the intentions of the husbands some wives may or may not be oppressed we can't make that judgement. If these are friends of your wifes maybe you could suggest your wife to talk to them. It may help them
                  No, uncles, aunties, family, sometimes it sounds like just about everyone is complaining. I get so confused, is there a fine line between oppression and just not being sooo good?

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                  • #24
                    Re: Oppression in Marriage

                    Originally posted by anonymous_mehip View Post
                    t

                    thats not being oppressed thats lack of communication
                    I agree communication is a major element in marriage. A lot of divorces happen due to lack of communication.
                    ▪️••• 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 •••▪️

                    ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Oppression in Marriage

                      Originally posted by anonymous_mehip View Post
                      t

                      thats not being oppressed thats lack of communication
                      Some wives say they can't talk to their husbands, some husbands say they can't talk to their wives. Some say all men are the same, some say all women are the same. Who's winning who's losing???

                      Is someone being oppressed in the process?

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                      • #26
                        Re: Oppression in Marriage

                        Originally posted by Tamaties View Post
                        No, uncles, aunties, family, sometimes it sounds like just about everyone is complaining. I get so confused, is there a fine line between oppression and just not being sooo good?
                        Unfortunately some people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations therefore they think they are being oppressed or it could be due to lack of knowledge.
                        ▪️••• 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 •••▪️

                        ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Oppression in Marriage

                          Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
                          Unfortunately some people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations therefore they think they are being oppressed or it could be due to lack of knowledge.
                          So though they think they are being oppressed they may not actually be, Allah will be the judge.

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                          • #28
                            Re: Oppression in Marriage

                            Originally posted by Tamaties View Post
                            So though they think they are being oppressed they may not actually be, Allah will be the judge.
                            Exactly we don't know only Allah knows.
                            ▪️••• 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 •••▪️

                            ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: Oppression in Marriage

                              Abuse - mental/physical is out of the question.

                              Only an animal would treat his partner like that.

                              To me, oppression is not being allowed to be me, not being allowed to do what I want to do - especially if its halaal and not detrimental to our relationship.
                              https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

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                              • #30
                                Re: Oppression in Marriage

                                Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
                                Unfortunately some people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations therefore they think they are being oppressed or it could be due to lack of knowledge.
                                or it could be due to them feeling over burdened and genuinely feeling like their situation is a hardship and oppression on them, and that their husband is not a companion or a benefit to them, or they feel alone. Feelings are not things to just disregard.
                                Originally posted by Tamaties View Post
                                So though they think they are being oppressed they may not actually be, Allah will be the judge.
                                but that is not the correct way to look at it. If your wife is unhappy, try to make her happy, make time to sit down and talk with her, make it a priority in your life, above other things, as the best of men are the ones who are kind to their wives.

                                Recipes for all the family :inlove:
                                (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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