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  • opinions?

    Assalamu Aleykum brothers and sisters. My name is Fatimah. I am new here.I found this forum when i was looking for moral religios stories. My english isnt good so please dont smile at my mistakes)
    I want ask you something. I married 5 years ago. Allah knows that i married with that man because he was the one who memorize Koran, he do his praying, fasting. I didnt have any strong feelings to him I chose because of religious sides. After marrying i see different man. Yes he was good with me but he was always lieing. and i found some things that i dont want to say. I dont want say anything exactly i can say Allah knows real. but this things were that Allah damns. what do you think? we dont live together nearly one year. do you think that i should save my merriage? when he doesnt do anything to rescue our marriage? we have a son. please share yyour opinions. i cant speak about it with near people. Assalamu aleykum

  • #2
    Re: opinions?

    :wswrwb:

    Sister, what do you want to do? Do you want to stay with him? Do you think he can become a better person? Do you think he will give up these things that he is doing? Do you think in the future he can be a good father to your son?

    You should try to save your marriage, because divorce should be the last option. We don't know the details of the situation, so it's hard to say a lot. However, try to work things out, and get your parents and his parents involved. Reach an agreement with him, where he will give up this sin he is doing and will continue to be a better Muslim.

    By the way, what's you first language? If you don't understand posts here, then :insha: let us know.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    • #3
      Re: opinions?

      Jazakkallahu hayran. I spoke with him many times but he continue lieing. I dont trust him anymore. his family was the same. they dont do anything to save our marriage. i dont understand those people.Inshaallah Allah gives them mind. my languages is Circassian.

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      • #4
        Re: opinions?

        What about your family? Have you talked to them about this?
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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        • #5
          Re: opinions?

          Yes i talked with famili but only about lies. But there is different thing. This thjng is that Allah damns. Maybe you understand. It is about relationships.

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          • #6
            Re: opinions?

            Sister, you have to be open to your family about it. If it's affecting your marriage and he keeps lying and doesn't want to change, then that doesn't leave much choice.

            Maybe, before going to your family, tell him one ore time that you'd like to resolve this without getting your family involved. :insha: He will agree.

            Make Dua'a, sis. To Allah to fix this situation and bring peace in your marriage.
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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            • #7
              Re: opinions?

              If you have doen your part in trying to help him then there is nothing else you can do. People only change because they want to not because you want them to.

              I would suggest you make make dua to Allah as much possible and turn to him regarding your husband. Ask Allah to keep your marriage strong if you are good for each other and if it is good for your son (deen and duniya but especially deen), otherwise to help you find a way out and make it easy for you- for all matters rest with Him (swt).

              Perhaps you could also specifically do istikhara regarding him.
              Last edited by Umm_Hanzalah; 10-04-12, 10:50 PM.
              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZVEydn3RKk

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              • #8
                Re: opinions?

                In my heart i think i must divorced. Thank you for replying. I dont think he will change. He even doesnt call his son. He is 3 years old. I think he doesnt love me he has different interest.

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                • #9
                  Re: opinions?

                  im so sorry to hear that. divorce is not easy but you must do what you feel is right for your sanity, for the sake of your deen and for your son. dont rush into a decision too quickly though, what about your own family, have you discussed with them the best way forward. sometimes we dont wish to let our close ones know our hurt and suffering because we think it is our problem but when it gets to something as serious as considering divorce, sometimes family can say things to help you feel better and support you through the process.

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