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The role of preference in marriage

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  • #76
    Re: The role of preference in marriage

    see i disagree, i feel a middleclass kenyan with maids a driver educated in private school such as american international school would have more in common with a middle class pakistani with a driver and international school education etc, then someone from kenya who live is a village. and the families would also have more in common.

    my last point was refering to the last sentance of your post.

    Recipes for all the family :inlove:
    (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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    • #77
      Re: The role of preference in marriage

      Originally posted by naila-k View Post
      .

      my last point was refering to the last sentance of your post.
      That had nothing to do with anything I said.
      Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
      Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
      [Al Quran 13:28]
      ]

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      • #78
        Re: The role of preference in marriage

        I think preferences are fine. Noting wrong with that. People like who thy like. There is no point of marrying some who yiu are not attracted or has a quality you dont like.

        However in the end we will marry who Allah decides we will marry. People everyday marry types of people who they thought they wouldn't marry in 1000 thousand years.
        Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
        (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

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        • #79
          Re: The role of preference in marriage

          Yes it does, you said just focus on the people who want you amd I replies it is not just about marriage. So why would I concentrate on the people ego want me when looking for someone elses marriage?

          Recipes for all the family :inlove:
          (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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          • #80
            Re: The role of preference in marriage

            Agh! Who dragged the Kenyans into this!?Lol three continents later, I will still mostly relate to someone who says jambo to me and get super excited as if i've met a long lost bro/sis! One thing I will say is the point brother mirror made about two Kenyans and one Kenyan one Pakistani..it's true that the first two will have alot more in common than the second! If I talk about matatus or talk about how amazing ugali is with the classic maragwe and the best breakfast in the world is Maandazi and barazi, a kenyan will immediately understand but a Pakistani will need google just to understand what I've said! And as a Kenyan who has lived 14 years amongst pakistanis, whether or not I'm desi didnt matter, I stood out! Without hijab they wouldnt call me a Muslim..with hijab they never called me a desi Muslim. I was bullied at school and college purely because pakistanis I met thought Kenyans had elephants as pets and lions roaming my garden! They truly believed i was from a jungle! And believe me, until today people ask me about wildlife as if I lived in tsavo national park not Mombasa! and saying that, as a Kenyan i still don't
            understand Pakistani mentality. They are abit rigid in their way of life and honestly I would never survive in a Pakistani household because personally and this is my opinion, I find them far too restrictive in their mindset and way of life. Some other Kenyan may beg to differ but that's how I feel.
            Mrs B

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            • #81
              Re: The role of preference in marriage

              Preference is completely natural I believe and people have different criteria for it. I dont see anything wrong with it either as long as person is being realistic.

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              • #82
                Re: The role of preference in marriage

                Originally posted by She_Bittersweet View Post
                Preference is completely natural I believe and people have different criteria for it. I dont see anything wrong with it either as long as person is being realistic.
                Yes being realistic is the key. One of my friends was just turned down by this guy because he (and his family) said that he wants a wife that looks like a Bollywood actress. And his own sister and mother said they wanted a daughter/sister in law that looked like a star. and that is exactly what they said.

                He is crazy if he think he will get a woman who looks like a celebrity when he himself doesn't look like one.
                Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
                (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

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                • #83
                  Re: The role of preference in marriage

                  Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post
                  Yes being realistic is the key. One of my friends was just turned down by this guy because he (and his family) said that he wants a wife that looks like a Bollywood actress. And his own sister and mother said they wanted a daughter/sister in law that looked like a star. and that is exactly what they said.

                  He is crazy if he think he will get a woman who looks like a celebrity when he himself doesn't look like one.
                  ..................
                  Last edited by h-rahman; 07-04-12, 04:39 PM.

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                  • #84
                    Re: The role of preference in marriage

                    Originally posted by naila-k View Post
                    Yes it does, you said just focus on the people who want you amd I replies it is not just about marriage. So why would I concentrate on the people ego want me when looking for someone elses marriage?

                    What are you talking about?. I don't think you got what I meant. I said one should not worry about people's whose preferences don't favor you. If you are not what someone has in mind for marriage you move on to someone who does want to marry you. I was talking in general and not to you.
                    Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                    Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                    [Al Quran 13:28]
                    ]

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Re: The role of preference in marriage

                      'muslimahc is infamous around these parts'

                      He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
                      www.QuranicAudio.com
                      www.Quran.com

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                      • #86
                        Re: The role of preference in marriage

                        Originally posted by aadil77 View Post
                        'muslimahc is infamous around these parts'

                        That's how I roll. Pink is my color. I am one of a kind. Who else has a pink color around these parts?
                        Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                        Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                        [Al Quran 13:28]
                        ]

                        Comment

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