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Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

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  • #16
    Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

    Never marry a person expecting them to change. If they have not changed to please Allah and his Prophet :saw:, what in the world will make them change to please a husband or a wife. Its a gamble of the aakhirah which is not worth taking.


    Spouses can and do grow toegther, but this is very different to changing.


    I think this will depend on ones own spirituality and mindset and where you are and how important your relationship with allah swt is.

    Ultimately, there is no love if it does not lead to increase in love and obedience of Allah swt and our Beloved Nabi :saw:, its a distraction.
    وَالْعَصْرِ

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

    "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

    "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

    Khanqah Habibiyah

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    • #17
      Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

      Ultimately allah grants piety to us all.
      I know plenty of people who started off pious and for whatever reasons became not so pious, and vice versa.
      You never know what is gonna happen tomorrow so just live for today and take people for what they are not what they may become...seems to be the majority view from those who have replied.

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      • #18
        Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

        Originally posted by Abda View Post
        so just live for today and take people for what they are not what they may become...seems to be the majority view from those who have replied.
        It's a risk that some may or may not be willing to take

        He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
        www.QuranicAudio.com
        www.Quran.com

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        • #19
          Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

          I believe people often change . Nothing Is permanent . Everything is subject to change , according to the circumstances.

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          • #20
            Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

            Originally posted by Kya View Post

            From real life I have noticed when the man is more pious vs. his wife, the marriage breaks. But when the wife is pious and husband isn't, the marriage isn't at high risk. The wife does her thing and tries best to help her husband but stays together even if he isn't practicing.
            I think that really depends on the personality of the person to be honest. If the man is more pious and the wife isn't, she may develop the ability to become pious and some may not.
            Likewise, if the wife is more pious, the risk factor depends on the individual people, the woman may help her husband to become a better person but in some cases he may not change due to his own arrogance and thinking he is the man and if the woman is not that outspoken and more of a soft and gentle type, she may get more influenced by the husbands behaviour which in turn would affect her deen too.

            I speak from my own experience when i got engaged, the brother wasn't as practising as i would've liked him to be as i later found out but it was fixed then and i saw a lot of potential in him to become a better person. but he said i was too religious for him and called it off. and to be honest i did fear i would become more like him. sometimes people are too arrogant to listen and when you get a relationship where the dominant one is not so pious, then that could influence the other half to become like them but if the dominant partner is more pious then the other half may become pious too. so someones character also plays a big part in whether people stick with marriage or not.

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            • #21
              Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

              Originally posted by Abda View Post
              Little more to add other than, by 'not so pious' I mean someone who prays a little, still keeps fasts but little else.
              How can he be happy while he knows that his wife or (vice versa) neglects Obligatory duties ordained in the Quran and Sunnah, knowing what punishment this can lead to?

              Nauzubillah
              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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              • #22
                Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

                Originally posted by Kya View Post
                IF she isn't doing anything haram but is neglecting her islamic duty due to laziness.. Then there is a chance she will become more practicing being around you. So I wouldn't rule it out completely, if you think she has potential.

                From real life I have noticed when the man is more pious vs. his wife, the marriage breaks. But when the wife is pious and husband isn't, the marriage isn't at high risk. The wife does her thing and tries best to help her husband but stays together even if he isn't practicing.
                also sometimes it's the Wife's practice and good behaviour which can change the other half to become more practicing and vice versa ...

                I hope this happens more frequently than the destruction I've seen in many families ...

                :jkk:
                http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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                • #23
                  Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

                  marrying a man or women with the same status as yourself is recommendable. but for a man who may slightly have more piety for instance, its then also recommended to marry women who have just slightly lower statuses due to male dominance by nature

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