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Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

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  • Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

    Little more to add other than, by 'not so pious' I mean someone who prays a little, still keeps fasts but little else.

  • #2
    Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

    why cant the person pray daily 5 times a day? is that a problem
    "Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion". 3:185

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    • #3
      Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

      If your reading and studying al Umm by imam Shafií and she's constantly reading various novels and having little to no interrest in Islamic knowledge that would cause problems. She wouldn't be a good mother to your children.

      Being pious is more than just praying 5 times a day its about having a serious interrest to get closer to allah by means of knowledge and action and a serious effort to love our prophet pbuh more than we love ourselves our wives and children and implement the sunnah in every part.

      So if you a she isn't the above or is not striving for the above but rather prefers her career/her novels/her hobbys/herself/her TV shows, i would say avoid at all cost.

      She should want to please allah be doing the basics and and attempting and loving for the oppertunity to do more to please her lord along side her role as a wife /her job/ her hobbys etc.

      any muslim male or female that isn't the above poses a serious threat to your deen.

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      • #4
        Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

        Originally posted by Abda View Post
        Little more to add other than, by 'not so pious' I mean someone who prays a little, still keeps fasts but little else.
        only if you dont care about your children
        .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
        نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
        دولة الإسلامية باقية





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        • #5
          Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

          In any marriage one is more pious than the other, or more accurately differently pious to the other.

          One may struggle for the 5 daily prayers, another to do good deeds or give charity, we all have our strengths and weaknesses and in a marriage we are there to encourage each other to improve ourselves.

          There may be times when one is more pious than the other and other times when the role reverses.

          I would say that for me the minimum is 5 daily prayers, but I know of a woman who didn't pray 5 times a day but was bought to it by her husband.

          Allah knows best.

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          • #6
            Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

            :salams

            If she isn't already praying 5 times a day, then really, she's not an option.

            You can be the nicest person in the world, do all the good deeds, help people, give charity, be the nicest spouse and child, etc., but if you are not praying, then all that means very little.
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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            • #7
              Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

              no i dont think so. if one person is praying 5 times a day and wants to get closer to Allah, wouldnt that partner want to share all that good with their other half and how disheartening it would be when they see that the other is just not as enthusiastic, they would feel for them and want them to attain that closeness to Allah too because they care about them and if they dont, its gonna hurt.

              on the other hand it depends on a persons character too, if someone is not so pious but has a really good character then they may have the potential to become pious with the help of their partner if they really want to make the change but still the being happy part is when both are on the same level in deen.

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              • #8
                Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

                No, in my opinion.
                SPREAD OF EVIL
                ZIONISM
                BOLLYWOOD

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                • #9
                  Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

                  It depends on your definition of happiness as in worldly or spiritually . I don't think an individual who is spiritual will be content or even happy in the presence of individual who isn't .
                  [COLOR="#800080"]You are saying," I belong to Allaah as a servant and I am going to return to Him". So whoever knows that he belongs to Allaah as a servant and that he will return to Him, then he should know that he will be stopped. And whoever knows that he will be stopped, then he should know that he will be questioned. And whoever knows that he will be questioned, then let him prepare an answer for the question.[/COLOR]

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                  • #10
                    Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

                    Yes but why would anyone want to marry someone who doesn't fulfill the bare minimum of salat (based on you saying "prays a little")?

                    I wouldn't recommend sisters marry men who aren't as practicing as they are. Why? Because I've seen situations where slowly but surely the sisters taqwa reduces and comes down to a level similar to her husband who maybe doesn't pray 5 times a day, or read any Quran. It's not always the case and there are sisters on the forum who have shown this - although you can also see from their posts how they wish their husbands were more practicing and it causes problems.

                    On the other hand I've seen a not so practicing sister marry a practicing brother and Alhamdulillah her taqwa and imaan increased so much.

                    Men have a role of being the head of the household and their wives usually follow their example.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

                      IF she isn't doing anything haram but is neglecting her islamic duty due to laziness.. Then there is a chance she will become more practicing being around you. So I wouldn't rule it out completely, if you think she has potential.

                      From real life I have noticed when the man is more pious vs. his wife, the marriage breaks. But when the wife is pious and husband isn't, the marriage isn't at high risk. The wife does her thing and tries best to help her husband but stays together even if he isn't practicing.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

                        Originally posted by Starman1 View Post
                        Yes but why would anyone want to marry someone who doesn't fulfill the bare minimum of salat (based on you saying "prays a little")?

                        I wouldn't recommend sisters marry men who aren't as practicing as they are. Why? Because I've seen situations where slowly but surely the sisters taqwa reduces and comes down to a level similar to her husband who maybe doesn't pray 5 times a day, or read any Quran. It's not always the case and there are sisters on the forum who have shown this - although you can also see from their posts how they wish their husbands were more practicing and it causes problems.

                        On the other hand I've seen a not so practicing sister marry a practicing brother and Alhamdulillah her taqwa and imaan increased so much.

                        Men have a role of being the head of the household and their wives usually follow their example.
                        Originally posted by Kya View Post

                        From real life I have noticed when the man is more pious vs. his wife, the marriage breaks. But when the wife is pious and husband isn't, the marriage isn't at high risk. The wife does her thing and tries best to help her husband but stays together even if he isn't practicing.
                        You both said the opposite tings. Interesting.

                        Personally, it's very risky to try to change someone after marriage, if you know beforehand he/she isn't practicing.
                        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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                        • #13
                          Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

                          Salaam

                          If you marry someone expecting them to change after marriage, you don't know how the world works. Just marry the most pious person you can

                          :jkk:

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                          • #14
                            Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

                            Speaking from personal experience, but I was a jerk back in the day when it came to Islam - and I can tell you 100% that you should never expect someone to change for the reason of marrying you (bro/sis). I changed for reasons that had nothing to do with marriage, I changed because something inside me clicked and I wanted to serve this Ummah the way Allah (swt) wanted.

                            I wanted Khilafah and revival, so I changed myself so that I could properly contribute to that task... However, it was a difficult process and 1-2 years of constant on/off attempts before I permanently got into prayer, reading Qur'an, expanding Sunnah practices, etc. The self-improvement never stops of course.

                            That said, there are some non-practising people with a latent inclination to better themselves and get closer to Allah (swt), but it is never clear cut and they have their own expectations on how to get there.
                            Last edited by Saqr; 05-04-12, 04:41 AM.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Can a pious muslim marry someone not so pious and still be happy?

                              Originally posted by abubakarbristol View Post
                              In any marriage one is more pious than the other, or more accurately differently pious to the other.

                              One may struggle for the 5 daily prayers, another to do good deeds or give charity, we all have our strengths and weaknesses and in a marriage we are there to encourage each other to improve ourselves.

                              There may be times when one is more pious than the other and other times when the role reverses.

                              I would say that for me the minimum is 5 daily prayers, but I know of a woman who didn't pray 5 times a day but was bought to it by her husband.

                              Allah knows best.
                              Mrs Abubakar says: When I married you, you were a rubbish Muslim, you could hardly pray correctly, kept doing all kind of things wrong but I knew that Allah had marked you for me, he let me see that your heart was good and that you would change and you did.

                              She is (as always) right.

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