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  • #16
    Re: Pre-marriage related issue

    ....
    Last edited by muslimahc; 03-04-12, 03:16 PM.
    Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
    Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
    [Al Quran 13:28]
    ]

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Pre-marriage related issue

      ....
      Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
      Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
      [Al Quran 13:28]
      ]

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Pre-marriage related issue

        Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
        That's OK then. You guys can pretty much do what you want after your Nikkah.

        Just wait a month.

        Yes problem solved. A month is not that long. Nikah solves everything. @ OP: You can ignore my other posts then.
        Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
        Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
        [Al Quran 13:28]
        ]

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: Pre-marriage related issue

          Originally posted by ShadowW View Post
          Thank you for the video and the advice. I would like to know, if both our parents have given us permission to chat with each other, i.e., it is only after their permission that we did chat, is it wrong even then?

          Secondly, our nikah has been scheduled to happen 6-8 months from now, so does that mean that until then we cannot message each other?
          insha Allah this will help http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvhg3PVeOkY

          Originally posted by ShadowW View Post
          I would appreciate some feedback on the following solution:

          1) I have a court marriage with my fiancee soon (say within a month or so), then we will be legally married, so that resolves all issues mentioned before
          2) Have the walima 6-8 months later when the rest of the family members will be available

          Are there any problems with the above-mentioned solution??
          If someone can suggest some other solutions (if any), I would be very grateful.

          May Allah guide me to make the right decisions, Aameen
          are you being married in an islamic court with a wali and 2 male muslim witnesses present or do you mean a marriage in the law of the land ?

          if it is not a specifically an islamic court ( a court in morrocco or egypt or pakistan for example, does not automatically make it an islamic court with islamic conditions applying ) then it is not an islamic marriage. in an islamic marriage, the womans wali should marry her to you in nikkah, by saying i marry you to such and such, or similar. a marriage in the law of a land, is not an islamic marriage and u would not be married before Allah ta ala, unless the islamic conditions are met.
          "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

          The Prophet :saw: said:

          "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

          muslim

          Narrated 'Abdullah:

          The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


          "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

          By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

          [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Pre-marriage related issue

            Originally posted by ShadowW View Post
            I have a feeling, Insha Allah I will be able to wait patiently, my only concern is whether my fiancee will be able to wait.

            When I look back at my life, my current situation seems quite ironic.

            Proposed to another girl before (via my parents to her parents), the offer was turned down because "as per the girl", I never told her if i liked her.
            And now, here I am, engaged with my supposedly destined life-partner, and can't tell her anything either... at least not until nikah :P


            Nikah should be as early as possible. It is more important for everyone to be at the walima, but I know it can be hard to convince parents especially when it comes to matters like this.
            Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
            Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
            [Al Quran 13:28]
            ]

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Pre-marriage related issue

              Originally posted by ~TwinklingStar~ View Post

              No matter how many hours you spend getting to "know" your fiance/fiancee before marriage, the true personality will only be revealed to you after you get married and begin living with the person.
              I agree, the person will only show the bright side of her/his personality, and you might be shocked once you start living with him/her by the complete opposite of what you were excepting ..

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Pre-marriage related issue

                Originally posted by *asiya* View Post

                are you being married in an islamic court with a wali and 2 male muslim witnesses present or do you mean a marriage in the law of the land ?

                if it is not a specifically an islamic court ( a court in morrocco or egypt or pakistan for example, does not automatically make it an islamic court with islamic conditions applying ) then it is not an islamic marriage. in an islamic marriage, the womans wali should marry her to you in nikkah, by saying i marry you to such and such, or similar. a marriage in the law of a land, is not an islamic marriage and u would not be married before Allah ta ala, unless the islamic conditions are met.
                I am not being married at the courts at the moment, it was only a proposed solution to have the nikah at the courts. But if this solution is accepted, it will definitely be a nikah abiding by the proper Islamic principles with the wali and the witnesses, etc.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Pre-marriage related issue

                  masha Allah, Allah bless ur marriage, but dont be speaking to her alone till the nikkah is done,maybe you could ask ur mother to explain to her its not allowed in islam and u want the marriage to start off on a good footing. as soon as nikkah is done she is ur wife, and its no problem then. insha Allah u are able to marry soon.
                  "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                  The Prophet :saw: said:

                  "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                  muslim

                  Narrated 'Abdullah:

                  The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                  "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                  By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                  [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Pre-marriage related issue

                    Salaam,
                    I went through a proposal where the Br asked for my number so we could talk and because I didnt know how wrong it would be for me and him to talk i said no and this lead to him rejecting me :( as he thought I wasnt interested.
                    [CENTER][FONT=Arial][B][SIZE=3][COLOR="#000080"]“And whoever is conscious of Allah, He will make for him a way out,[/COLOR] [COLOR="#0000FF"]And will provide for him from where he does not expect. [/COLOR][COLOR="#40E0D0"]And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him.[/COLOR][COLOR="#40E0D0"] Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose.[/COLOR] [COLOR="#00FFFF"]Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” (Quran 65:2-3)[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/CENTER]

                    Comment

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