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Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

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  • Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

    .. and felt like you made a huge mistake... because for some reason it felt like Allah SWT had sent you that person and without taking the time out to ponder over the offer or even ask for guidance from Allah SWT you made a quick decision on impulse. Potentially the wrong one ? Because you didn't really think it over at all. And now there's no going back.

    Has this ever happened to you?

    If yes, what did you do afterwards and how did you get over it ?

    Any beneficial advice will be helpful.


    Jazakallah kair in advance.

    Salaam Alaikum.

  • #2
    Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

    :salams

    No, not yet.

    But, then again, if you didn't get married to that person, then he/she wasn't the one for you, in the first place.

    You might think that you let go off a good proposal, but have trust in Allah. What may seem good from outside might not be good on the inside. What may seem good now, may not be good in the future. So, we should have trust in Allah that whom so ever He will bring to us will be the BEST ONE. :insha:

    No need to be upset over someone who was never meant for you.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

      Originally posted by Elegance. View Post
      .. and felt like you made a huge mistake... because for some reason it felt like Allah SWT had sent you that person and without taking the time out to ponder over the offer or even ask for guidance from Allah SWT you made a quick decision on impulse. Potentially the wrong one ? Because you didn't really think it over at all. And now there's no going back.

      Has this ever happened to you?

      If yes, what did you do afterwards and how did you get over it ?

      Any beneficial advice will be helpful.


      Jazakallah kair in advance.

      Salaam Alaikum.
      Is there no going back?

      Make dua, consult family, do istikhara, and ask whether they would be interested in a meeting, be honest.

      If all fails, then you tried.

      If its going to happen, it will happen, no matter what you do or don't do. And if its not going to happen, nothing you will do will change anything.
      "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

        I sort of did regret when there was no one else
        Then i considered fixing my initial mistake (getting in touch with his sister or telling parents to get in touch with him. I know they will be happy to hear from us)

        Then I remembered the horrible feeling I had that made me reject it. I asked myself if I really wanted to walk down that path.

        And the answer was, although I regret it, I don't regret enough to go down that path. There was a reason it didn't work first time around. I am better off letting go.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

          No.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

            no, the du'a used in salaatul istikhara asks Allaah to guide you to what is best for you and your deen, so I have full trust and faith in that.
            Abu Saalehah

            OUTREACH4ISLAM - Calling the not yet Muslims of Leicester to Islam since 2006

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

              Originally posted by abu saalehah View Post
              no, the du'a used in salaatul istikhara asks Allaah to guide you to what is best for you and your deen, so I have full trust and faith in that.
              The brother did not make istikhara...
              "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

                I would ask when did you make your decision ? A week ago ? A month ? I think you need to trust yourself . I'm sure that when you made a big decision to say no you had your reasons . Although it might seem like an impulsive act sometimes you have to trust your first gut reaction . You have the right to change your mind but Insha Allah this time make your decision and do seek Allah guidance that way there will be no regret next time Insha Allah . But please don't be stuck in regret mode trust that in its prescribed time whatever is meant to happen will happen.
                [COLOR="#800080"]You are saying," I belong to Allaah as a servant and I am going to return to Him". So whoever knows that he belongs to Allaah as a servant and that he will return to Him, then he should know that he will be stopped. And whoever knows that he will be stopped, then he should know that he will be questioned. And whoever knows that he will be questioned, then let him prepare an answer for the question.[/COLOR]

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

                  Wa Alaikumus Salaam,
                  There is no one stopping you still asking for guidance from Allah SWT, the practising brothers and sisters are unlikely to have hearts filled with pride and ego that they cannot forgive for rejecting the 'initial' proposal'..

                  First see what Allah says about the matter, do Istikharah..

                  May Allah bring for you what is the best for your life today and tomorrow in the Akhirah..
                  وَإِذَا قِيلَ لَهُمۡ ءَامِنُواْ كَمَآ ءَامَنَ ٱلنَّاسُ قَالُوٓاْ أَنُؤۡمِنُ كَمَآ ءَامَنَ ٱلسُّفَهَآءُ*ۗ أَلَآ إِنَّهُمۡ هُمُ ٱلسُّفَهَآءُ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا يَعۡلَمُونَ


                  And when it is said unto them: believe as the people believe, they say: Shall we believe as the foolish believe? Beware! They indeed are the foolish? But they know not.
                  Al Baqarah : Verse 13

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

                    If you didn't marry them then obviously they weren't the right person for you.

                    Otherwise why would you reject the proposal? It simply does not make any sense to me.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

                      Yes, only ever once, but its not a regret. Its a strange feeling of contentment and happiness for him and his wife.

                      I didnt reject him and he didnt reject me, it was just circumstances, or rather that the Qadr of Allah swt that things have ended up the way they have, and even now, there, is a lot of mutual respect, contentment, and peace Alhumdollilah.

                      Our families are close, Alhumdollilah since then, we've grown even closer.

                      You ask Allah swt to divert you heart from everything and anything that takes your attention away from Him swt. If a man is meanr for you in your taqdeer, then believe you me, things will work out in such a way that you will end up married to him.

                      And if he isnt, then you can move heaven and earth, but you wont be together.

                      Nothing is difficult for Allah swt, so please dont waste precious moments of your life worrying about something that has already been decreed. Focus on Allah swt and be grateful for all the blessing that you already in your life, and make abundant dua.

                      If things are meant for you, it will fall into place and if not, then Allah swt will bless you with something even better, and immense contentment and peace. Insha'Allah. Trust me :inlove:
                      وَالْعَصْرِ

                      إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                      إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                      "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                      "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                      Khanqah Habibiyah

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

                        If you keep questioning yourself this way then you will never get any peace or contentment in ur life.
                        Maybe Allah saved you from making a huge mistake (for that be grateful) or maybe this rishta was sent your way and you turned it down so maybe you wont ever find someone equal or better again. Either way, theres no point in crying over spilt milk as you cannot change any of it!

                        If only we had a time machine...I would change sooo many things:)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

                          Originally posted by Elegance. View Post
                          .. and felt like you made a huge mistake... because for some reason it felt like Allah SWT had sent you that person and without taking the time out to ponder over the offer or even ask for guidance from Allah SWT you made a quick decision on impulse. Potentially the wrong one ? Because you didn't really think it over at all. And now there's no going back.

                          Has this ever happened to you?

                          If yes, what did you do afterwards and how did you get over it ?

                          Any beneficial advice will be helpful.


                          Jazakallah kair in advance.

                          Salaam Alaikum.
                          No point regretting such things, just learn from experience, move on and try to use your experience to make a better choice next time.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

                            Never.

                            I dont have regrets.

                            I havent experienced any major milestone in life without ever asking Allah (swt) for guidance.

                            I have never prayed for anything specifically i.e. please make it possible for me to get into xyz University or get married to xyz person.

                            I always ask Allah (swt) to give me what is best for me. I don't have knowledge of the future. I do not know what's best for me. I don't know how I may be in 5-10 years time. So, for that reason. I would never ask for anything without adding - "Only make it happen, if YOU (swt), know its best for my deen and dunya".

                            For that reason, when I reflect back to my past...I am only grateful that Allah (swt) protected me.

                            There's one particular brother that I was interested in marrying. He is now married to someone else.

                            I thank Allah often that I never ended up getting married to him - nothing actually physically stopped us. Just circumstances.

                            I have 110% belief that what happens after I make sincere dua - is ALWAYS in my best interest.
                            https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal only to REALLY regret it afterwards ?

                              Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
                              Never.

                              I dont have regrets.

                              I havent experienced any major milestone in life without ever asking Allah (swt) for guidance.

                              I have never prayed for anything specifically i.e. please make it possible for me to get into xyz University or get married to xyz person.

                              I always ask Allah (swt) to give me what is best for me. I don't have knowledge of the future. I do not know what's best for me. I don't know how I may be in 5-10 years time. So, for that reason. I would never ask for anything without adding - "Only make it happen, if YOU (swt), know its best for my deen and dunya".

                              For that reason, when I reflect back to my past...I am only grateful that Allah (swt) protected me.

                              There's one particular brother that I was interested in marrying. He is now married to someone else.

                              I thank Allah often that I never ended up getting married to him - nothing actually physically stopped us. Just circumstances.

                              I have 110% belief that what happens after I make sincere dua - is ALWAYS in my best interest.

                              Marshallah sister,

                              It must be wonderful to not have any regrets.
                              I think sometimes its easier to not have regrets whereby we can see/feel that we were saved from what could have been a bad situation or given another route that leads onto better things. But when you cant tell the benefits to you of a circumstance, thats when most people have regrets!


                              The best thing is to try and not to dwell on such.

                              Comment

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