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  • Finances

    Any brothers sort out their wedding without financial support from family? How did you manage it?

    I'd appreciate it if you could include some figures

    JazakhAllah khair

    He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
    www.QuranicAudio.com
    www.Quran.com

  • #2
    Re: Finances

    nope im spoiled brat so family paid for everything.
    Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children...

    -Quran (57:20)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Finances

      Originally posted by deen1984 View Post
      nope im spoiled brat so family paid for everything.
      masha'Allah, saved you a lot of trouble

      He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
      www.QuranicAudio.com
      www.Quran.com

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Finances

        brother... the marriage was designed to be cheap but in todays society it is expensive ..there is too much extra added things..
        but other wise..here goes..

        jewellry for her 600 quid
        jewellery for him 200
        wedding clothes 200
        rented car- 400
        rented venue 800
        catering food 200
        dowry 500
        presents for her side 100
        walima food 300
        decorations 200
        makeup and photograpghy and video guy 80
        honeymoon 780 all inclusive

        and for everything else their is MasterCard :)

        but believe most of these things PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN and be a man and stick to the sunnah and tell them, why not keep it simple and give anythingelse towards the new home

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Finances

          Good thread. Interested in numbers as well from some of the brothers insha'Allah. I am contemplating on if I should ask family.

          That above looks very cheap compared to what I've seen. Most of that will be unnecessary by having it at a masjid insha'Allah.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Finances

            I told my mom and dad that when I do get married, I will pay for all of it under the condition that it is kept simple/at reasonable cost.

            Alhamdulillah they seem fine with it since I came at them from an Islamic PoV. I told them what I was fine with and what I didn't like, and with the latter, I backed it up with daleel (if Haram) or more daleel (if my alternative was Islamicly better).

            My parents don't have a problem with this, they just laughed at the idea of me saying this to the potential bride's family. 'Meh' I said...it isn't as if I plan to marry someone who is dead set on going to the moon and back. Pray for someone on the deen, Allah (swt) will have their hearts open to genuinely good ideas.

            My 10 rules to a GOOD wedding:

            1. Quality of the deen shown at wedding & marriage
            2. Quality of the company you invite: less people (i.e. immediately family, close friends, etc.) = More
            3. Quality of food: less people = more flexibility in food
            4. Quality of venue: less people = more flexibility in venue, less operational headaches, etc.
            5. Quality of time-spent: less people = families of said bride/groom can spend a lot of time with the couple
            6. Quality of gifts, support money, etc: with immediat family/friends, they understand you better = better/useful gifts
            7. Quality of experience: no one gets left out or ignored, seen too many big weddings that were just hollow.
            8. Quality of MY experience: less people/smaller event = me spending time with MY friends & family
            9. Quality of HER experience: same as above, except with her friends & family
            10. Self-appreciation: I will never...EVER...sit in the front like a tool for guests to take photos with for 5 hrs. If they want photos I will photoshop them in, makes no difference, especially if you don't know me. It's just sad that my brother's wedding album is full of photos of people he doesn't know of, yet barely any of him, his wife, the immediate families or anything. If people are still dead set on photos, I'll hire an elephant for them.
            Last edited by Saqr; 28-03-12, 03:40 AM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Finances

              Originally posted by Excuse_me View Post
              Good thread. Interested in numbers as well from some of the brothers insha'Allah. I am contemplating on if I should ask family.

              That above looks very cheap compared to what I've seen. Most of that will be unnecessary by having it at a masjid insha'Allah.
              You can only have the nikah at the masjid as far as I'm aware

              For the dinner/reception I'm thinking book out a small restaurent for close family/friends,

              Anyone done this and how was segregation managed?

              He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
              www.QuranicAudio.com
              www.Quran.com

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Finances

                Converts here in Holland get married for as little as 300 Euros not much , Somalis however you have to put your footdown at the start it would probably cost you max 4000 Euros.
                I suggest that people look at their situation and judge it, don't get into debt don't go round doing silly things don't waste your time with woman that 20 000 pound weddings.

                If you find it difficult managing the all these different things, you can alway get marreid back home and bring the wife over for a fraction of the price that it would cost to marry someone here only if paperwork does not bother you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Finances

                  assalaamu alaykum,

                  some masaajid will let you have the walimah there, I did and myself and a friend did all the cooking so did a walimah for about 80 people no trouble.

                  my total costs including mahr was about £700 but then I got venues for free, help from a brother for free but it can be done,

                  you don't need to spend thousands and i've known brothers get married in the masjid, the walimah a few days later same masjid is everyone bring a bit of food. one brother brings bottles of pop, another a big pot of curry, another rice, another roti, another some sweets and this is from the sunnah also for everyone to help in this way and you could realistically get married for the cost of your mahr alone if you go down this route.
                  Abu Saalehah

                  OUTREACH4ISLAM - Calling the not yet Muslims of Leicester to Islam since 2006

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Finances

                    Originally posted by abu saalehah View Post
                    you don't need to spend thousands and i've known brothers get married in the masjid, the walimah a few days later same masjid is everyone bring a bit of food. one brother brings bottles of pop, another a big pot of curry, another rice, another roti, another some sweets and this is from the sunnah also for everyone to help in this way and you could realistically get married for the cost of your mahr alone if you go down this route.
                    Waalayakum Assalam

                    That sounds good bro, but not many masjids where I live have a womens sections and don't think would allow catering. They all allow nikah's but never heard of walimas in masjids.

                    He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
                    www.QuranicAudio.com
                    www.Quran.com

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Finances

                      Originally posted by aekbal View Post

                      but believe most of these things PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN and be a man and stick to the sunnah and tell them, why not keep it simple and give anythingelse towards the new home
                      That's what I feel like too. I want a simple small wedding with a honeymoon, but I want a really nice spacious house. The house is going to last for a lifetime (unless we move to another country) so I would rather he invest his money in that.
                      Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                      Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                      [Al Quran 13:28]
                      ]

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Finances

                        Originally posted by AhlulQuran88 View Post
                        Converts here in Holland get married for as little as 300 Euros not much , Somalis however you have to put your footdown at the start it would probably cost you max 4000 Euros.
                        I suggest that people look at their situation and judge it, don't get into debt don't go round doing silly things don't waste your time with woman that 20 000 pound weddings.

                        If you find it difficult managing the all these different things, you can alway get marreid back home and bring the wife over for a fraction of the price that it would cost to marry someone here only if paperwork does not bother you.
                        For a woman back home, if you consider the via process and plane tickets, that is expensive as well.
                        Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                        Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                        [Al Quran 13:28]
                        ]

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Finances

                          I think a nikah at a mosque and walimah later at a small venue is fine. When should the walimah usually take place after the nikah?
                          Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                          Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                          [Al Quran 13:28]
                          ]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by aekbal View Post
                            brother... the marriage was designed to be cheap but in todays society it is expensive ..there is too much extra added things..
                            but other wise..here goes..

                            jewellry for her 600 quid
                            jewellery for him 200
                            wedding clothes 200
                            rented car- 400
                            rented venue 800
                            catering food 200
                            dowry 500
                            presents for her side 100
                            walima food 300
                            decorations 200
                            makeup and photograpghy and video guy 80
                            honeymoon 780 all inclusive

                            and for everything else their is MasterCard :)

                            but believe most of these things PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN and be a man and stick to the sunnah and tell them, why not keep it simple and give anythingelse towards the new home
                            Your figures don't make sense..

                            600 in her jewelrry , pounds right ?what did this consist of a single ring or a necklace ?

                            Honeymoon 780, that's cheap but where did you go ?

                            Wedding clothes, 200 ? A girls bridal dress usually costs minimum 1000£, the guys dress is about half that , so where did you get 200 from ?

                            Also are these figures from 10-15 years ago, if so then yeah they make sense.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Finances

                              Originally posted by aekbal View Post
                              brother... the marriage was designed to be cheap but in todays society it is expensive ..there is too much extra added things..
                              but other wise..here goes..

                              jewellry for her 600 quid
                              jewellery for him 200
                              wedding clothes 200
                              rented car- 400
                              rented venue 800
                              catering food 200
                              dowry 500
                              presents for her side 100
                              walima food 300
                              decorations 200
                              makeup and photograpghy and video guy 80
                              honeymoon 780 all inclusive

                              and for everything else their is MasterCard :)

                              but believe most of these things PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN and be a man and stick to the sunnah and tell them, why not keep it simple and give anythingelse towards the new home
                              You missed out:

                              Decent wife - priceless

                              Comment

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