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Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

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  • #16
    Re: Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

    I have good friend and she is struggling to find a potential spouse, she abt 26 and She is alima so very pious.


    I am but 50/50 abt mentioning to her this website option.
    My brother is in his early 20s and he doesn't have friends of similar age, otherwise I would try help her out. As in introduce potential spouses to her obviously within the boundaries of Islam. Plus She refuses to marry back home as her potential spouses are abt "red passport". She strongly believes that this is the case. Told her to do istikhara but anyhow she wants someone from here and won't budge or consider someone from back home.


    I mean sisters would u be offended if a friend suggested this to u, if for argument sake you are in friends position?
    Last edited by BeReal; 24-03-12, 12:51 AM.

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    • #17
      Re: Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

      I don't think I personally would go this route since there is a lot of Muslims in my area and I have enough connections. I am not really sure if it is good or not in general. In one way, I like meeting people over the internet because it opens you up to a much bigger pool of people, so it is more likely to find someone compatible. I guess what comes to my mind thinking of it, I would feel very embarrassed and awkward to approach my wali asking if I could go on a marriage site or asking him to consider someone off the internet. To be honest if I did that, he would probably be insulted or mad. So that gives me the impression there are a lot of people out there on those site doing things alone with no wali, and you know that brings all kinds of bad people around.
      Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

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      • #18
        I dont know why i think its weird to meet someone on the internet.. You hear about a person getting to know someone and then meeting them and it all being totally different.. I guess people can lie through the internet.. I'd defo want to meet someone through other halal means.

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        • #19
          Re: Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

          people have huge trust issue

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          • #20
            Re: Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

            PureMatrimony is very strict. They don't monitor every conversation between each party, which is good.
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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            • #21
              Re: Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

              Try

              Halfourdeen .com

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              • #22
                Re: Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

                Personally I would definitley not go down this route, I just don't think it's a good way to find a spouse.


                Alward to explain to people how u found them and like most of u said: u don't know how much of wht they saying is the truth

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                • #23
                  Re: Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

                  Originally posted by inprogress View Post
                  I don't think I personally would go this route since there is a lot of Muslims in my area and I have enough connections. I am not really sure if it is good or not in general. In one way, I like meeting people over the internet because it opens you up to a much bigger pool of people, so it is more likely to find someone compatible. I guess what comes to my mind thinking of it, I would feel very embarrassed and awkward to approach my wali asking if I could go on a marriage site or asking him to consider someone off the internet. To be honest if I did that, he would probably be insulted or mad. So that gives me the impression there are a lot of people out there on those site doing things alone with no wali, and you know that brings all kinds of bad people around.
                  Precisely my point

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                  • #24
                    Re: Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

                    Originally posted by eshaM View Post
                    I dont know why i think its weird to meet someone on the internet.. You hear about a person getting to know someone and then meeting them and it all being totally different.. I guess people can lie through the internet.. I'd defo want to meet someone through other halal means.
                    Agree totally

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                    • #25
                      Re: Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

                      I think it's not a bad idea. It has some pros and cons:

                      1. It allows you to screen for criteria you want in a spouse.
                      2. It widens the scope of people you can meet to people in other parts of your country and world.

                      Cons:

                      1. How can you do it the halal way? Maybe I will look at guy's profiles with my mom lol... It would be kind of awkward to tell my wali that I am looking for a spouse online. I don't know what his reaction to that would be. I have a feeling he would not like the idea.
                      2. People can easily lie on the net and put fake pictures. They can fake their occupation. For those of us women with western passports, we have to be wary of greencard seekers.
                      3. It is harder to do a background check on someone you meet online instead of in person. Well you will meet them in person eventually, but if you don't know people in common, which will most likely be the case, it is harder to get reliable info about the person's character. The person will put up their best show in front of you and your wali.
                      Last edited by muslimahc; 28-03-12, 04:13 PM.
                      Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                      Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                      [Al Quran 13:28]
                      ]

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                      • #26
                        Re: Finding a husband/ wife via Matrimonial websites????? yay or nay

                        Originally posted by BeReal View Post
                        I can see your point aekbal but when i spoke to friends they stated that it was sort of "desperate times, call for deperate measures." They would never look for a life partner on there they would prefer to go through family and friends and finding out if they knew someone....


                        and you never know if the people that are on there are actually serious, Im not saying they are not, but some cases its just an easy way. im sure you know wht i mean.

                        I dont know i always had a neagtive view on these site not taht i been through any negative experinces, its just like a last option so in that respects i feel i would not go through them to find a life partner.

                        Yeah I get this feeling that it would seem desperate. And imagine if people ask you how you and your spouse met. I would be embarassed to say we met online. I don't know why. I just would. I would also wonder why a brother would be on that site. Couldn't he find a sister in his mosque or community. It is generally easier for men to find spouses. However, I did skim through some matrimonial site out of curiosity to see if if is something I would potentially use in the future. Many of the people I saw there didn't seem desperate. It was not what I thought. Most of the muslim matrimonial sites seemed good. If you think about it, it is not all the different than other methods of meeting people. Either way you are advertising yourself and putting yourself out there to find a spouse. The only difference is this method is done through computer. I heard a lot of desis use newspaper ads. Sometimes your community or family networks might not be enough to find the person you want. The internet just broadens the scope. I think it is always just smart to have several in person meetings with the potential accompanied by your wali and even one more person just to be safe and keep it halal.
                        Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                        Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                        [Al Quran 13:28]
                        ]

                        Comment

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