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Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

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  • Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

    From what I know, it do have roots in islam. But Can I insist on not accepting Dowry from my future wife?

  • #2
    Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

    Originally posted by rackspace View Post
    From what I know, it do have roots in islam. But Can I insist on not accepting Dowry from my future wife?
    I think Yes. But how does the husband getting gifts from the wife have roots in Islam ? If your talking about Jahaiz and the gifts that the Prophet :saw: gave to his daughter, weren't they given to the daughter ?
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    • #3
      Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

      Originally posted by Brother Hassan View Post
      I think Yes. But how does the husband getting gifts from the wife have roots in Islam ? If your talking about Jahaiz and the gifts that the Prophet :saw: gave to his daughter, weren't they given to the daughter ?
      yes, i am talking about jahez

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      • #4
        Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

        Originally posted by rackspace View Post
        yes, i am talking about jahez
        From what I know, Jahez is given to your wife. Its not your property.
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        • #5
          Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

          Can I insist that she doesnot bring any jahez? Will it be against islam.

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          • #6
            Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

            Originally posted by rackspace View Post
            Can I insist that she doesnot bring any jahez? Will it be against islam.
            I think you can - from what I know.
            Better to ask a scholar or maybe some more knowledgeable person here can answer.
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            • #7
              Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

              Jahez (dowry sent from the bride's family to the groom) is NOT FROM ISLAM!!!! I repeat Jahez is NOT from Islam!!! It stems from a Hindu tradition and has NOTHING to do with Islam whatsoever. You are well within your rights to insist and demand that you do not want Jahez.

              As for the incident of what the Prophet (saw) provided on Fatima's wedding, whatever he (saw) gave to Ali (ra) was due to the fact that the Prophet (saw) was the guardian of Ali (ra) as well! So just as a groom's family can pitch in and help the groom pay for his wedding costs, the Prophet (saw) assisted Ali (ra) when it came to his wedding and it was in this capacity (ie as the guardian of Ali) that the Prophet (saw) would have given anything. There was NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER any insinuation that there was supposed to be some level of gift giving from the bride's family to the groom. It's just that when Hindus in India began to embrace Islam, many did not want to (or think to) let go of the jahez tradition so they misinterpreted the Sunnah to fit in with their own customs even though the jahez tradition has no place in Islam or Islamic traditions whatsoever... so please don't let anyone fool you into thinking there is some level of acceptibility in Islam for a bride's family to provide jahez.

              At best, there is a tradition of giving gifts in the Sunnah so on that basis, any Muslim can freely choose to give gifts to another Muslim out of love for Allah (swt) so sometimes a bride's family might still give gifts to their son in law cos' it just seems like a nice thing to do but there should be no pressure whatsoever for them to give anything and it should not be because the community will gossip about it if they give nothing.
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              • #8
                Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                In their country the husband is given a dowry!

                And Allaah knows best.

                Islam Q&A link
                "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                The Prophet :saw: said:

                "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                muslim

                Narrated 'Abdullah:

                The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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                • #9
                  Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                  :salams

                  I wouldn't be too comfortable marrying a woman from a family where this is common. But, yeah, if they do it, then you should make it clear that you won't accept it.

                  1 million girls are aborted, left to die, killed each year in India. Why?
                  Because when they grow older and it's time to send them off, they'll be a burden on the family - Dowry!

                  Subhan'Allah.
                  Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                  "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                  - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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                  • #10
                    Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                    if they giving it happily and freely then take it, don't worry about it. you should accept gifts.
                    Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

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                    • #11
                      Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                      Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                      :salams

                      I wouldn't be too comfortable marrying a woman from a family where this is common. But, yeah, if they do it, then you should make it clear that you won't accept it.

                      1 million girls are aborted, left to die, killed each year in India. Why?
                      Because when they grow older and it's time to send them off, they'll be a burden on the family - Dowry!

                      Subhan'Allah.
                      SubhanAllah
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                      • #12
                        Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                        Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                        :salams

                        I wouldn't be too comfortable marrying a woman from a family where this is common. But, yeah, if they do it, then you should make it clear that you won't accept it.

                        1 million girls are aborted, left to die, killed each year in India. Why?
                        Because when they grow older and it's time to send them off, they'll be a burden on the family - Dowry!

                        Subhan'Allah.
                        :jkk:
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                        • #13
                          Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                          Originally posted by neelu View Post
                          Jahez (dowry sent from the bride's family to the groom) is NOT FROM ISLAM!!!! I repeat Jahez is NOT from Islam!!! It stems from a Hindu tradition and has NOTHING to do with Islam whatsoever. You are well within your rights to insist and demand that you do not want Jahez.
                          Well, dowry in marriages is an evil social practice. You should educate yourself that Hinduism has nothing to do with dowry, so don't call it a Hindu tradition. Show me a single ancient scriptures that Hindus follow which mandates dowry. This is, just like Islam doesn't yet some Muslims practice it. Don't let your prejudices cloud your judgment on a belief system you know very little about (going by your gross generalizations)
                          Not knowing what one doesn't know will lead to difficulty

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                          • #14
                            Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                            Whether your going to insist on not accepting dowry or not,

                            make sure that you Do give her mahr.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                              some posts on the topics are really inspiring. i really want to like them. this forum should have this feature.

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