Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

    From what I know, it do have roots in islam. But Can I insist on not accepting Dowry from my future wife?

  • #2
    Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

    Originally posted by rackspace View Post
    From what I know, it do have roots in islam. But Can I insist on not accepting Dowry from my future wife?
    I think Yes. But how does the husband getting gifts from the wife have roots in Islam ? If your talking about Jahaiz and the gifts that the Prophet :saw: gave to his daughter, weren't they given to the daughter ?
    Free Web Hosting Pakistan - BASE.PK
    Hi Web.India - Free Web Hosting India

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

      Originally posted by Brother Hassan View Post
      I think Yes. But how does the husband getting gifts from the wife have roots in Islam ? If your talking about Jahaiz and the gifts that the Prophet :saw: gave to his daughter, weren't they given to the daughter ?
      yes, i am talking about jahez

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

        Originally posted by rackspace View Post
        yes, i am talking about jahez
        From what I know, Jahez is given to your wife. Its not your property.
        Free Web Hosting Pakistan - BASE.PK
        Hi Web.India - Free Web Hosting India

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

          Can I insist that she doesnot bring any jahez? Will it be against islam.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

            Originally posted by rackspace View Post
            Can I insist that she doesnot bring any jahez? Will it be against islam.
            I think you can - from what I know.
            Better to ask a scholar or maybe some more knowledgeable person here can answer.
            Free Web Hosting Pakistan - BASE.PK
            Hi Web.India - Free Web Hosting India

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

              Jahez (dowry sent from the bride's family to the groom) is NOT FROM ISLAM!!!! I repeat Jahez is NOT from Islam!!! It stems from a Hindu tradition and has NOTHING to do with Islam whatsoever. You are well within your rights to insist and demand that you do not want Jahez.

              As for the incident of what the Prophet (saw) provided on Fatima's wedding, whatever he (saw) gave to Ali (ra) was due to the fact that the Prophet (saw) was the guardian of Ali (ra) as well! So just as a groom's family can pitch in and help the groom pay for his wedding costs, the Prophet (saw) assisted Ali (ra) when it came to his wedding and it was in this capacity (ie as the guardian of Ali) that the Prophet (saw) would have given anything. There was NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER any insinuation that there was supposed to be some level of gift giving from the bride's family to the groom. It's just that when Hindus in India began to embrace Islam, many did not want to (or think to) let go of the jahez tradition so they misinterpreted the Sunnah to fit in with their own customs even though the jahez tradition has no place in Islam or Islamic traditions whatsoever... so please don't let anyone fool you into thinking there is some level of acceptibility in Islam for a bride's family to provide jahez.

              At best, there is a tradition of giving gifts in the Sunnah so on that basis, any Muslim can freely choose to give gifts to another Muslim out of love for Allah (swt) so sometimes a bride's family might still give gifts to their son in law cos' it just seems like a nice thing to do but there should be no pressure whatsoever for them to give anything and it should not be because the community will gossip about it if they give nothing.
              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                In their country the husband is given a dowry!

                I would like to ask something about dowry, which happens in some countries, especially in Indian states (Kerala, Tamil Nadu etc). For example: We given to Groom for our sister One Lakh Rupees and 75 ‘Pavan’ Gold (One ‘Pavan’ is 4 Grams Gold) this is widely happen in our state among the Muslims. I would like to know is this permissible in Islam to ask or give this huge amount and the Gold? I would like to tell you some more about this: 1 Lakh and 75 ‘Pavan’ is very lowest dowry in Kerala, among the rich family, it will be 5 Lakhs, 500 ‘Pavan’ and foreign Car as well as Land etc. And other question about ‘Maher’, which happens among the Arabians i.e. asking big amount, Gold and Diamonds from Groom, is this permissible in Islam asking this big amount as ‘Maher’ ? Is this a main reason Arabians are marrying from India, Pakistan, Am I right? Could you explain a solution for it? Kindly answer me; please do not ignore this question.

                Praise be to Allaah.

                In His Holy Book, Allaah has commanded men to give their wives their dowries. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

                “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allaah has made it lawful).”

                [al-Nisa’ 4:4]

                al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

                What is meant by that is: Give women their mahr as something that is required and obligatory.

                He also said:

                It was narrated from Qataadah: “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” i.e., it is obligatory. And it was narrated from Ibn Jurayj: “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart”: he said: it is obligatory and the amount is to be named. It was narrated from Ibn Zayd concerning the verse “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart”: the Arabic word nihlah (translated here as “with a good heart”) means: obligatory.

                Tafseer al-Tabari, 4/241

                Allaah has made the mahr obligatory for the man, who must give it to the woman, and not vice versa. This is what is indicated by the texts of the Qur’aan and also by the texts of the Sunnah.

                For example, al-Bukhaari narrated from Sahl ibn Sa’d that a woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I offer myself to you (in marriage). She stood there for a long time, then a man said: O Messenger of Allaah, marry her to me if you have no need of her. He said: “Do you have anything that you could give to her as a dowry?” He said: “I have nothing but this izaar of mine.” He said: “Look for something, even if it is a ring of iron.” So he looked but he could not find anything. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you know anything of the Qur’aan?” He said: “Yes, Soorah such and such, and Soorah such and such.” He said: “I give her to you in marriage in return for what you know of the Qur’aan.”

                Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4741; Muslim, 1325.

                Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

                This indicates that the mahr is essential in marriage, because he said: “Do you have anything that you could give to her as a dowry?” The scholars are unanimously agreed that it is not permissible for anyone to engage in intimacy (with a woman) without naming the mahr.

                It also indicates that it is better to name the mahr. If a marriage contract is done without naming the mahr, the marriage is valid and the bride is entitled to a mahr like that of other women like her, when the marriage is consummated. End quote.

                Fath al-Baari, 9/211.

                The Qur’aan, the Sunnah and the consensus of the scholars indicate that the dowry is to be given by the man to the woman, not vice versa. This is what is in accordance with sound human nature. How can a man be qawwaam (in charge of) the woman when she is the one who has paid the mahr to him? Allaah has made spending of wealth by the husband one of the reasons why men are in charge of women, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

                “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”


                [al-Nisa’ 4:34]

                After this spending from the husband, the wife often realizes the burden that her husband bears, so she reduces the mahr or part of it willingly. There is no sin of the husband if he then takes it, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

                “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm.”

                [al-Nisa’ 4:4]

                This money that the woman gives to the man as a dowry to him for marrying her is contrary to Islam, to the fitrah, to reason and to human nature. This applies even if it is a little, so how about the amounts that you mention?!

                As for the solution, it is essential that the scholars, daa’iyahs and media in your country strive their utmost to put an end to this problem and then deal with it and change the custom to that which is in accordance with sharee’ah, which is in accordance with the nature which Allaah has created in man.


                And Allaah knows best.

                Islam Q&A link
                "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                The Prophet :saw: said:

                "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                muslim

                Narrated 'Abdullah:

                The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                  :salams

                  I wouldn't be too comfortable marrying a woman from a family where this is common. But, yeah, if they do it, then you should make it clear that you won't accept it.

                  1 million girls are aborted, left to die, killed each year in India. Why?
                  Because when they grow older and it's time to send them off, they'll be a burden on the family - Dowry!

                  Subhan'Allah.
                  Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                  "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                  - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                    if they giving it happily and freely then take it, don't worry about it. you should accept gifts.
                    Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                      Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                      :salams

                      I wouldn't be too comfortable marrying a woman from a family where this is common. But, yeah, if they do it, then you should make it clear that you won't accept it.

                      1 million girls are aborted, left to die, killed each year in India. Why?
                      Because when they grow older and it's time to send them off, they'll be a burden on the family - Dowry!

                      Subhan'Allah.
                      SubhanAllah
                      [CENTER]
                      [/CENTER]
                      [CENTER]
                      [/CENTER]

                      [SIZE=1][COLOR=dimgray]
                      [/COLOR][/SIZE]

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                        Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                        :salams

                        I wouldn't be too comfortable marrying a woman from a family where this is common. But, yeah, if they do it, then you should make it clear that you won't accept it.

                        1 million girls are aborted, left to die, killed each year in India. Why?
                        Because when they grow older and it's time to send them off, they'll be a burden on the family - Dowry!

                        Subhan'Allah.
                        :jkk:
                        Free Web Hosting Pakistan - BASE.PK
                        Hi Web.India - Free Web Hosting India

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                          Originally posted by neelu View Post
                          Jahez (dowry sent from the bride's family to the groom) is NOT FROM ISLAM!!!! I repeat Jahez is NOT from Islam!!! It stems from a Hindu tradition and has NOTHING to do with Islam whatsoever. You are well within your rights to insist and demand that you do not want Jahez.
                          Well, dowry in marriages is an evil social practice. You should educate yourself that Hinduism has nothing to do with dowry, so don't call it a Hindu tradition. Show me a single ancient scriptures that Hindus follow which mandates dowry. This is, just like Islam doesn't yet some Muslims practice it. Don't let your prejudices cloud your judgment on a belief system you know very little about (going by your gross generalizations)
                          Not knowing what one doesn't know will lead to difficulty

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                            Whether your going to insist on not accepting dowry or not,

                            make sure that you Do give her mahr.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Can I insist on not accepting Dowry

                              some posts on the topics are really inspiring. i really want to like them. this forum should have this feature.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X