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  • Right to know or not?

    This is somethin thats been bothering me, people on here keep sayin not to reveal your sins no matter what, that's all well and good but it can't be that simple when it comes to marriage.

    If the person you're marrying is an alcoholic, druggie, fornicator, doesn't pray etc etc, how on earth are you supposed to know if they get to keep these things hidden?

    Even if you've repented and moved on theres still certain sins which carry irreparable damage ie; zina - once you've lost your chastity you're unchaste for life. It's like catchin hiv/aids or some other sexual disease once you catch them no amount of repentence can get rid of them.

    In my opinion if you don't want to reveal such things (if asked) then the least you can do is back out of the proposal

    Is that fair enough?

    and before the reverts jump on me - none of this applies to you

    He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
    www.QuranicAudio.com
    www.Quran.com

  • #2
    Re: Right to know or not?

    You mean not to reveal your past sins? Why would anyone? If the sin they do is present time then I can understand why. If something like HIV is involved or some kind of disease I can understand why. But you can get diseases without committing sins.

    And who told you virginity equals chastity?
    "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

    Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

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    • #3
      Re: Right to know or not?

      Originally posted by samin62 View Post
      You mean not to reveal your past sins? Why would anyone? If the sin they do is present time then I can understand why. If something like HIV is involved or some kind of disease I can understand why. But you can get diseases without committing sins.

      And who told you virginity equals chastity?
      it more or less equals chastity, yh you can get up to other things less than zina which affect how chaste you are - but they don't render you unchaste

      He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
      www.QuranicAudio.com
      www.Quran.com

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      • #4
        Re: Right to know or not?

        oh ye who transgress the limits of allah know he is often forgiving all mercifull

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Right to know or not?

          Originally posted by aadil77 View Post
          This is somethin thats been bothering me, people on here keep sayin not to reveal your sins no matter what, that's all well and good but it can't be that simple when it comes to marriage.

          If the person you're marrying is an alcoholic, druggie, fornicator, doesn't pray etc etc, how on earth are you supposed to know if they get to keep these things hidden?

          Even if you've repented and moved on theres still certain sins which carry irreparable damage ie; zina - once you've lost your chastity you're unchaste for life. It's like catchin hiv/aids or some other sexual disease once you catch them no amount of repentence can get rid of them.

          In my opinion if you don't want to reveal such things (if asked) then the least you can do is back out of the proposal

          Is that fair enough?

          and before the reverts jump on me - none of this applies to you
          Brother, I am a revert and I am going to jump on you (but very gently!).

          I believe that we are talking about past sins, when we say sins should be hidden not current ongoing ones.

          Of course, if anyone has been involved in zina and has the remotest risk of hiv or other diseases they should get themselves tested and treated. If you are hiv positive you must inform a potential spouse.

          There is a difference between acting responsibly and revealing and wallowing in past sins.

          Just as a quick note, reverts can stray of the straight path after reversion and then return, so some of what you say does apply to reverts.

          Chaste doesn't equate with virginity, it is your current state of mind and practice regardless of previous sexual encounters.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Right to know or not?

            Originally posted by aadil77 View Post
            This is somethin thats been bothering me, people on here keep sayin not to reveal your sins no matter what, that's all well and good but it can't be that simple when it comes to marriage.

            If the person you're marrying is an alcoholic, druggie, fornicator, doesn't pray etc etc, how on earth are you supposed to know if they get to keep these things hidden?

            Even if you've repented and moved on theres still certain sins which carry irreparable damage ie; zina - once you've lost your chastity you're unchaste for life. It's like catchin hiv/aids or some other sexual disease once you catch them no amount of repentence can get rid of them.

            In my opinion if you don't want to reveal such things (if asked) then the least you can do is back out of the proposal

            Is that fair enough?

            and before the reverts jump on me - none of this applies to you
            it is Fair enough,

            otherwise one has to be prepared to put up Sexually transmitted Diseases, and repercussions of other Sins which will cause major Issues down the line during ones Marriage.

            :jkk:
            http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

            "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

            – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Right to know or not?

              Originally posted by abubakarbristol View Post
              Brother, I am a revert and I am going to jump on you (but very gently!).

              I believe that we are talking about past sins, when we say sins should be hidden not current ongoing ones.

              Of course, if anyone has been involved in zina and has the remotest risk of hiv or other diseases they should get themselves tested and treated. If you are hiv positive you must inform a potential spouse.

              There is a difference between acting responsibly and revealing and wallowing in past sins.

              Just as a quick note, reverts can stray of the straight path after reversion and then return, so some of what you say does apply to reverts.

              Chaste doesn't equate with virginity, it is your current state of mind and practice regardless of previous sexual encounters.
              Zina increases the risk of Sexally transmitted diseases greatly,

              How do you hide a Sins which have lasting repercussions ie. Sexually transmitted disease?

              Are you Not revealing your Sins, by having yourself tested?

              Your definition of Chaste is incorrect,

              Chaste = Not involved in relationships outside of marriage.

              In other words the Only Single persons that can be Chaste are Divorcees and Virgins.

              tis not just a "State of mind and practice regardless of previous Sexual encounters ..."

              yes one may have repented and never involved in Illicit relations afterwards, that is between them and Allah ta'ala.

              These issues did not occur to me, Alhumdullilah, but I think it's fair to assume that the Majority of the Brothers would much prefer Honesty, over doubts and possible repercussions.

              :jkk:
              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Right to know or not?

                Once you repent from something, that sin is erased as if you didn't do it. If you committed zina, that does not make you unchaste for life, if you sincerely repent and change you are chaste again.
                Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Right to know or not?

                  Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
                  Zina increases the risk of Sexally transmitted diseases greatly,

                  How do you hide a Sins which have lasting repercussions ie. Sexually transmitted disease?

                  Are you Not revealing your Sins, by having yourself tested?

                  Your definition of Chaste is incorrect,

                  Chaste = Not involved in relationships outside of marriage.

                  In other words the Only Single persons that can be Chaste are Divorcees and Virgins.

                  tis not just a "State of mind and practice regardless of previous Sexual encounters ..."

                  yes one may have repented and never involved in Illicit relations afterwards, that is between them and Allah ta'ala.

                  These issues did not occur to me, Alhumdullilah, but I think it's fair to assume that the Majority of the Brothers would much prefer Honesty, over doubts and possible repercussions.

                  :jkk:

                  :up: ..

                  May I also add , widows too .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Right to know or not?

                    Originally posted by inprogress View Post
                    Once you repent from something, that sin is erased as if you didn't do it. If you committed zina, that does not make you unchaste for life, if you sincerely repent and change you are chaste again.
                    no you're not, there'd be no point to chastity if that were the case

                    sin may be erased after sincere repentance but the condition isn't

                    He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
                    www.QuranicAudio.com
                    www.Quran.com

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Right to know or not?

                      assalamu alaykum,

                      if the person proposing is very concerned about the zinah issue, then in the meeting they should say 'to me it's important that my future wife has had no past partners' or something along them lines and the woman, if she has had past partners then she should have the decency to decline the proposal on that basis. obviously she will not admit her reasons for rejecting it.

                      obviously you would be praying istikaarah too and if the whole thing has been legit then insha'Allah Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala will guide you to who is right for you.. you shouldnt worry about these things too much, its the tricks of the shayateen who try and deter people from marriage.
                      http://www.deenulhuq.wordpress.com

                      Don't depend on anyone too much in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness ~ibn taymiyyah

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Right to know or not?

                        ^ I agree to what sis_on_sunnah said :masha:

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Right to know or not?

                          Originally posted by sis_on_sunnah View Post
                          assalamu alaykum,

                          if the person proposing is very concerned about the zinah issue, then in the meeting they should say 'to me it's important that my future wife has had no past partners' or something along them lines and the woman, if she has had past partners then she should have the decency to decline the proposal on that basis. obviously she will not admit her reasons for rejecting it.
                          Wsalam,

                          Fair enough, that's a more discreet way of putting it.

                          Ideally we shouldn't have to worry about such things, but such is the state of muslims better to be safe than sorry.

                          He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
                          www.QuranicAudio.com
                          www.Quran.com

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Right to know or not?

                            Salaam

                            If a person is still actively engaged in the sin of fornication, drug intake, etc, then I can understand the desire for any potential partner to be aware of any such problems. However, if a person has committed a sin in the past, and repentance has occurred, then it is perfectly permissible for the person in question to hide that sin, even from a potential spouse.

                            Now, if a person has a sexually transmitted disease (STD) such as HIV or MAY have such a disease, then they should go and get tested by a doctor (they won't have to reveal the sin to the doctor; they just name the symptoms and the doctor does the appropriate tests. Even if a person comes back with a HIV positive result, it does not mean they engaged in zina since HIV can spread through blood transfusions, sharing needles, and so forth). If the tests are positive, then it would not be allowed for the person in question to cause harm to him/her by marrying her and spreading the disease. If the tests are negative, what's the problem?

                            :jkk:

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Right to know or not?

                              Originally posted by ahmad12 View Post
                              Salaam

                              If a person is still actively engaged in the sin of fornication, drug intake, etc, then I can understand the desire for any potential partner to be aware of any such problems. However, if a person has committed a sin in the past, and repentance has occurred, then it is perfectly permissible for the person in question to hide that sin, even from a potential spouse.

                              :jkk:
                              Zina is not like any other sin, its puts you in a permaneant state of unchasteness

                              And like the sister said above, if a person is looking for someone chaste and if the potential spouse isn't chaste - they should have the decency to back out of the proposal. Its not permissable to decieve someone into marriage.

                              He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
                              www.QuranicAudio.com
                              www.Quran.com

                              Comment

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