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Can I do a Nikah??

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  • zaraa
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by AbuMubarak View Post
    sister, in all honesty, you need to find a good muslim you trust, who can guide you correctly thru this, someone that preferably knows you and knows your situation

    it can be a male or female, but you should use their understanding of islam and you as your guide

    not someone who is going to bend to your whims, but someone who will give you the best advice, regardless of your whims

    if needed, show them this thread, you did get some good pieces of advice, some better than others
    I know. I did think joining here I would get my answer, but the situation is just more complex then everyone thinks. I'm not being stubborn. I don't want to do rush anything, I want to do the right thing, but no-one on here can understand the problem properly. Although I did get some good advice. Thank you anyways for your replies

    Leave a comment:


  • zaraa
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    Sis Zara, don't you think it's better if you can hold on for some time and reassess yourself?

    I think you might be rushing into this just to make haram into halal, which is OK and permissible.

    However, you have to realize that marriage is a life-long commitment. You are thinking that you both will become good Muslims after getting married, but the reality is that none of us have seen the future. We don't know who will be a good Muslim tomorrow or next week and so on.

    My advice would be to hold on for few months and become acquainted with what Allah wants from you. Become a better, more practicing Muslimah first. Get closer to Allah, learn the deen, learn about what Islamic marriage entails, your rights and husband's rights, how will you bring up your children, etc.

    :insha: This is open you up to a broader perspective of what kind of a husband you should look for. Remember, look for someone who will help you reach Jannah, and one who will do that is the one who fears Allah and obeys Him. So, after few months and learning the deen a bit more, if you think this person is still good for you, then you should proceed. :insha: However, you should control yourself and keep away from any contact with him or any other non-mahram man.

    :insha: Think about this.

    May Allah bring you the best.
    In this message you've wrote you've actually helped me. Thank you

    Leave a comment:


  • Susan1122
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    you should concern that person who have complete knowledge of islam

    Hajj Visa Umrah Visa

    Leave a comment:


  • AbuMubarak
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by zaraa View Post
    Thank you so much to actually try understaning my situation, because I don't think anyone realises how depressed its making me
    sister, in all honesty, you need to find a good muslim you trust, who can guide you correctly thru this, someone that preferably knows you and knows your situation

    it can be a male or female, but you should use their understanding of islam and you as your guide

    not someone who is going to bend to your whims, but someone who will give you the best advice, regardless of your whims

    if needed, show them this thread, you did get some good pieces of advice, some better than others

    Leave a comment:


  • AbuMubarak
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by haraaz View Post
    A woman who has converted to Islam, who have no wali, can marry without the consent of her parents. In this case the Imam can be her wali. And keep in mind that even non-muslim parents must be obeyed except if they argue against something essential to faith, so this question doesn't have anything to do with obeying parents since this exception is made (if it was, their consent should be obligatory).

    So logically, all muslim women are equal whether converts or not.
    Why is there an exception of the rule for converts? Because their parents aren't muslim.

    What's the difference really from non-muslims and non-practicing muslims? The whole idea of the wali is to safeguard the womans interests in the light of ISLAM (which is why a non-muslim father cannot be the wali to assist in this).
    How can a non-practising muslim father do that? Are you people blind?

    The Prophet said, there is no celibacy in Islam. Likewise the one who can get married, should do that to keep away from sins. And also that the marriage is half the deen.

    This sister has cultural non practising parents who only accept her to marry someone of their choice. Should she just accept anyone they suggest, and then live miserable ever after? That's what will happen for sure. I do not believe that a woman should be forced in to a marriage that she does not want. Is that a life to bring children into?

    So don't marry then, you say. You really mean she should either live her life in celibacy or marry someone she does not love and who has not a good charachter? Obeying parents has a limit, and I do think the circumstances around this situation suffices for you to marry without their consent. Wallahu alam.

    And a note: All of you in the thread bashing the sister for having a haram relationship, did she even say they were physical? It may have been merely talk. And if you think talking is sin, then get off the forum. You're all interacting with the opposite sexes by replying in threads like these.
    you did make some good points

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Sis Zara, don't you think it's better if you can hold on for some time and reassess yourself?

    I think you might be rushing into this just to make haram into halal, which is OK and permissible.

    However, you have to realize that marriage is a life-long commitment. You are thinking that you both will become good Muslims after getting married, but the reality is that none of us have seen the future. We don't know who will be a good Muslim tomorrow or next week and so on.

    My advice would be to hold on for few months and become acquainted with what Allah wants from you. Become a better, more practicing Muslimah first. Get closer to Allah, learn the deen, learn about what Islamic marriage entails, your rights and husband's rights, how will you bring up your children, etc.

    :insha: This is open you up to a broader perspective of what kind of a husband you should look for. Remember, look for someone who will help you reach Jannah, and one who will do that is the one who fears Allah and obeys Him. So, after few months and learning the deen a bit more, if you think this person is still good for you, then you should proceed. :insha: However, you should control yourself and keep away from any contact with him or any other non-mahram man.

    :insha: Think about this.

    May Allah bring you the best.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by haraaz View Post
    So don't marry then, you say. You really mean she should either live her life in celibacy or marry someone she does not love and who has not a good charachter? Obeying parents has a limit, and I do think the circumstances around this situation suffices for you to marry without their consent. Wallahu alam.
    Brother, don't mind, but none of us are in a position to give a decisive ruling. This isn't a small matter where we can say "I think." What if she goes ahead and her marriage is invalid?

    Leave a comment:


  • elitealot
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by zaraa View Post
    Why do you say it will be the biggest mistake of my life? Islamically or because this guy is a "bad person" in all your eyes?
    You're going about this all wrong. You need to better yourselves as muslims before marriage. You have 2 problems right now:

    1. You want to get married to stop an on going haraam relationship,
    2. You want to get married because you think your parents will force you to marry your cousin.

    That's "just" 2 problems, 2 problems with easy solutions if you were a stronger person, after marriage you will have a million problems, so if you can't deal with these 2 problems now, how are you going to deal with a million problems after marriage? And please don't tell me that marriage is going to be easy. You need to remember that marriage is half your deen for a reason. That reason is that marriage is seriously hard work. If you can't handle life before marriage, no way are you going to be able to handle life after marriage. It's hard work to get in to jannah, and 50% of your deen is no easy task to achieve, i.e. a successful islamic marriage.

    Which is why I am saying, improve yourself before marriage so you can handle marriage with a stronger foundation, a strong foundation which you clearly don't have at the moment, otherwise you would not have the 2 problems mentioned above. Don't try to solve your problems with marriage! It doesn't work that way.
    Last edited by elitealot; 14-03-12, 02:09 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • zaraa
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by haraaz View Post
    A woman who has converted to Islam, who have no wali, can marry without the consent of her parents. In this case the Imam can be her wali. And keep in mind that even non-muslim parents must be obeyed except if they argue against something essential to faith, so this question doesn't have anything to do with obeying parents since this exception is made (if it was, their consent should be obligatory).

    So logically, all muslim women are equal whether converts or not.
    Why is there an exception of the rule for converts? Because their parents aren't muslim.

    What's the difference really from non-muslims and non-practicing muslims? The whole idea of the wali is to safeguard the womans interests in the light of ISLAM (which is why a non-muslim father cannot be the wali to assist in this).
    How can a non-practising muslim father do that? Are you people blind?

    The Prophet said, there is no celibacy in Islam. Likewise the one who can get married, should do that to keep away from sins. And also that the marriage is half the deen.

    This sister has cultural non practising parents who only accept her to marry someone of their choice. Should she just accept anyone they suggest, and then live miserable ever after? That's what will happen for sure. I do not believe that a woman should be forced in to a marriage that she does not want. Is that a life to bring children into?

    So don't marry then, you say. You really mean she should either live her life in celibacy or marry someone she does not love and who has not a good charachter? Obeying parents has a limit, and I do think the circumstances around this situation suffices for you to marry without their consent. Wallahu alam.

    And a note: All of you in the thread bashing the sister for having a haram relationship, did she even say they were physical? It may have been merely talk. And if you think talking is sin, then get off the forum. You're all interacting with the opposite sexes by replying in threads like these.
    Thank you so much to actually try understaning my situation, because I don't think anyone realises how depressed its making me

    Leave a comment:


  • zaraa
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by elitealot View Post
    You don't think there is anything wrong with a guy who has continued with a haraam relationship with you for 3 years?

    All I will say is, you're right, your parents can't force you to marry anyone, but I think you will make the biggest mistake of your life by getting married to the person who currently have a relationship with...

    Look i've admitted i've commited sins as well as him, but that is why I joined here to explain we BOTH want to be better muslims. I'm sure your not the perfect muslim living, everyone commits sins and its good to realise and repent and thats what you should all realise, instead of making me feel crap about myself. When sins are commited Allah is most forgiving remember. I didn't choose to put myself in this situation, had I was thinking more about my religion as I am today back then, then I would see life at a different view. I respect people like haraaz who don't just attack me like most of you, but TRY to understand unlike others. I'm begging Allah's forgiveness and he can see how I feel, so stop thinking I don't know I'VE MADE MISTAKES!


    Why do you say it will be the biggest mistake of my life? Islamically or because this guy is a "bad person" in all your eyes?

    Leave a comment:


  • elitealot
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by zaraa
    Its not that anything is wrong with the guy
    You don't think there is anything wrong with a guy who has continued with a haraam relationship with you for 3 years?

    All I will say is, you're right, your parents can't force you to marry anyone, but I think you will make the biggest mistake of your life by getting married to the person who currently have a relationship with...
    Last edited by elitealot; 13-03-12, 05:59 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • hanzla
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by ahmad12 View Post
    Salaam

    I have not come across any Hanafi scholar that says such a marriage would not be valid. They all stress that such a marriage may not be optimal though

    :jkk:
    hmm offtopic but have you read (original) misyar fatwa and ever tried to consult with any hanfi darul ifta ?

    Leave a comment:


  • ahmad12
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by hanzla View Post
    my question, is there any consensus b/w hanfi scholars on misyar fatwa?

    salafi scholars like Ibn Uthaimeen or Al-Albani claim for their part, that misyar marriage may be legal, but not moral.
    Salaam

    I have not come across any Hanafi scholar that says such a marriage would not be valid. They all stress that such a marriage may not be optimal though

    :jkk:

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    The scholar in that fatwa, also says it's legal and valid, but not really a good thing.

    Leave a comment:


  • hanzla
    replied
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    Originally posted by ahmad12 View Post
    Salaam

    Yes, it is allowed under these conditions: http://www.daruliftaa.com/question?t...nID=q-21475354

    :jkk:
    my question, is there any consensus b/w hanfi scholars on misyar fatwa?

    salafi scholars like Ibn Uthaimeen or Al-Albani claim for their part, that misyar marriage may be legal, but not moral.

    Leave a comment:

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