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Can I do a Nikah??

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  • #31
    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

    If you knew my parents only then you would understand how hard my life really is. I don't wanna do anything wrong, but Allah can see my situation. I didn't choose to be in this situation, but I am and I don't see my life with anyone, but the guy I want to do my nikah with. If my parents were as nice as you saying talk to them, get your sis to, other people to then I wouldn't be stressing. But I am and I have NO solution to my problem

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    • #32
      Re: Can I do a Nikah??

      Originally posted by zaraa View Post
      I'm just going to call a majid tomorrow and hope I can go ahead with the nikah. My situation is really complicated :(
      If you do decide to go ahead with this, I would think that you would rather make an appointment to meet the Imam, and then lay out the complete story in front of him, so he knows your complete situation..then he will advise what is in the best interest for you..

      Keep an open mind, listen to the Imam's reasoning..

      Remember love is blinding, but Allah loves us soo much more than anyone else..I mean, even though we sin so much, Allah still keeps feeding us, his mercy knows no bounds..
      وَإِذَا قِيلَ لَهُمۡ ءَامِنُواْ كَمَآ ءَامَنَ ٱلنَّاسُ قَالُوٓاْ أَنُؤۡمِنُ كَمَآ ءَامَنَ ٱلسُّفَهَآءُ*ۗ أَلَآ إِنَّهُمۡ هُمُ ٱلسُّفَهَآءُ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا يَعۡلَمُونَ


      And when it is said unto them: believe as the people believe, they say: Shall we believe as the foolish believe? Beware! They indeed are the foolish? But they know not.
      Al Baqarah : Verse 13

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      • #33
        Re: Can I do a Nikah??

        Sister, the reality is that they are your parents. That alone puts them in a position where Allah demands and commands you to respect them.

        If you want to do the right thing, then take the right path and inform your parents. :insha:

        Put your trust in Allah and He will make a way out for you.

        Though, I will say that you have committed a big mistake by getting so attached to a non-mahram man who is not halal for you.
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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        • #34
          Re: Can I do a Nikah??

          Ye he has, thats why I said there is no chance of my parents agreeing. And like I already said, its not because their is something wrong with him, its purely because it has to be my parents choice. Whhich they think my cousin. I don't want that. They've already ruined my sisters life and I don't want the same life as her. My parents don't go by islam, but culture and thats why i'm sick of being told i need their permisson. I hate this all

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          • #35
            Re: Can I do a Nikah??

            Sister, honestly speaking, I'd never want my daughter marrying a man who has been in a relationship with her for 3 years. How can you say there's nothing wrong with him when you both were in a haram relationship?

            I'd make her stop this relationship, repent, and improve herself as a Muslimah. Then, seek a pious husband for her.
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: Can I do a Nikah??

              Originally posted by zaraa View Post
              If you knew my parents only then you would understand how hard my life really is. I don't wanna do anything wrong, but Allah can see my situation. I didn't choose to be in this situation, but I am and I don't see my life with anyone, but the guy I want to do my nikah with. If my parents were as nice as you saying talk to them, get your sis to, other people to then I wouldn't be stressing. But I am and I have NO solution to my problem
              thats not true sister

              "and whoever fears Allah, He will make a way out for him and will provide for him from sources he never imagined" surah talaq.

              but u need to fear Allah first and do the right thing if u want the help of Allah.
              "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

              The Prophet :saw: said:

              "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

              muslim

              Narrated 'Abdullah:

              The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


              "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

              By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

              [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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              • #37
                Re: Can I do a Nikah??

                Originally posted by zaraa View Post
                Ye he has, thats why I said there is no chance of my parents agreeing. And like I already said, its not because their is something wrong with him, its purely because it has to be my parents choice. Whhich they think my cousin. I don't want that. They've already ruined my sisters life and I don't want the same life as her. My parents don't go by islam, but culture and thats why i'm sick of being told i need their permisson. I hate this all
                no one is saying u have to marry the cousin, you marry who you want to, and if the brother had been rejected then u could have gone to the imam and said i want to marry this good brother, but my father said no because hes not my cousin, then things could have been different,if ur father had an unislamic reason for refusing him, then u might have had the imam speak to ur father and make him understand and the imam may have become ur wali because of ur father refusing islam, and had u married.

                but u went and had a relationship with him and now that changes everything, and its not that simple anymore.

                im not saying this to make u feel bad sister, im telling u how it is, seriously if i was u i would go pray two rakat and pray istikarah and ask Allah to guide u to what is good for you.

                and istikarah is not something u get a dream or some vision from doing, its a duaa asking Allah to guide u to what is best for u and to take away what is bad for u, and asking Allah to help u accept his decree.


                i know this culture stuff is a nightmare to deal with, i have seen and heard so many ppl suffering from it, and its not right, and its not fair for families to do that to their children, its so very wrong.


                but you cant become one of the wrongdoers just because someone is doing u wrong. you have to be patient do the right thing and trust in Allah.
                Last edited by *asiya*; 12-03-12, 12:09 AM.
                "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                The Prophet :saw: said:

                "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                muslim

                Narrated 'Abdullah:

                The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: Can I do a Nikah??

                  If you're going to get married then speak with your mother/sisters and they will convey this to your father/brothers. In no situation should you run off and marry like a thief. If this guy is so fantastic and mature enough for marriage then he should be mature enough to come and ask for you. If he's saying "let's get married and sort the rest out later" then he is a coward and a weak person. Either you are big enough to make the decisino of marriage yourself, in which case don't do it as a thief slinks off and does his crime but do it as adults and in the open with families present. Or you are not yet mature enough to take this decision, in which case speak to your female relatives to speak to your father and get the ball rolling that way.
                  Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.

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                  • #39
                    Re: Can I do a Nikah??

                    I know i've done wrong going into a relationship to begin with, but thats what I said in my first message, i'm trying to change and become a good muslim. in islam the final answer to a marrriage is down to the girl and guy. parents can't force you into marriage. so if my parents don't agree then how am i doing wrong? They want me married to a guy who is living like a kaffir? Who has no respect for his own mother. In islam if a girl can't be forced into a marriage then does that mean I won't ever marry? Because my parents won't agree to the person I want my nikah with? and I won't accept any other person

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                    • #40
                      Re: Can I do a Nikah??

                      impetuous youth

                      i remember those days

                      may i never have to repeat them again

                      sister, i know your heart is telling you to rush, but dont

                      this is a life long decision, i wish i could tell you all of the youth that i know personally who thought they were doing the right thing by circumventing the correct way, everytime, it was a disaster

                      do you want that? i would hope not

                      just be patient and be correct

                      its better to debate with your parents than to go behind their backs, if they are oppressive, then there are other ways, but sneaking is not one of them

                      be an honorable woman so you can raise honorable children and you can be an honorable wife

                      if you are sneaky as a daughter, you will be sneaky as a wife
                      .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
                      نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
                      دولة الإسلامية باقية





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                      • #41
                        Re: Can I do a Nikah??

                        You sound very stroppy.

                        You're confusing two issues. One is the guy your parents are proposing and other is your boyfriend. If you don't want to marry your cousin then don't, just say you don't think he's right for you, you want someone who takes his religions seriously etc. And if your parents arent happy with your boyfriend, which frankly Im not surprised with, then that's tough luck.

                        If that means you're never going to marry then don't get married and sit and ruin your life and be a burden on your father and brothers. Thats your call. No1 can force you to marry but don't try and play the "I'll live all my years pining for my beloved" speech, it won't work, least on me. lol.

                        I sound harsh probably, but in a genuine way I understand what you're saying. matters of the heart are always moer complicated and delicate than an outsider appreciates, but thats why u need the words of outsiders. if your cousin is wrong for you, dont marry him. if your boyfriend is refused, then dont marry him. if it means you gonna sit at home forever then so be it. Let's see how real your "love" is in 5 years down the line when all your friends are married and mothers and your sitting at home with only your wrnikles to keep you company.
                        Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Re: Can I do a Nikah??

                          Originally posted by shikran View Post
                          according to hanfi fiq.. you can do marriage without your parents consent..

                          AFA witnesses r concerned, according 2 Shariah, there must be at least 2 male witnesses or 1 male witness nd two female witnesses 2 witness the proposal nd acceptance of the boy nd girl.
                          With due respect akhee but please - Be wise and don't be a fool.

                          Is this the kind of thing you would say if your daughter or sister came up to you ?

                          Am sure you wouldnt so what makes you think you can come here and do that. This isn't a joke or a light matter.

                          :jkk:

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                          • #43
                            Re: Can I do a Nikah??

                            what should i wait for though?

                            an answer that will always be a no?

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                            • #44
                              Re: Can I do a Nikah??

                              thanks for making me feel a thousand times worse medi...

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                              • #45
                                Re: Can I do a Nikah??

                                if you've got your answer then you don't need to wait for anything. either ask em to look for someone else for you, or just sit at home. simples.
                                Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.

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