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Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

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  • Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

    The discussions in this section of the forum tend to be centered around a handful of reoccurring themes, among them being the so called “lack of suitable men” (leaving religion aside for a moment) for the average women it translates to a guy that has a degree/diploma, car, house and a good paying job that will support her.

    The fast majority of those women (leaving out the degree) don’t bring any of those things they seek to the table, but ironically feel as though they are entitled to it just by their mere presence, the arrogance is absolutely astounding and there are many men who feed in to this BS and actively go into debt, braking their backs and limbs in the process.

    You will see a single, below average looking, no degree, unemployed sister joking to her friend (of similar stature) that a brother who drives a taxi for living asked her for marriage and how dare he.

    It’s precisely this syndrome that causes many sisters in the west to remain single and why so many brothers (even those whom fit the criteria’s above) marry sisters from back home, whom by and large (leaving out Khaleeji countries) don’t suffer from this entitlement syndrome (or at least not to the same extent)
    Last edited by Inquisitive10; 28-01-12, 09:55 PM.

  • #2
    Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

    Bro I could agree and disagree with things you've said but I'd rather not be involved really. This thread is a fight waiting to happen.
    Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.”(Muslim)

    "Zendagi Migzara..."

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    • #3
      Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

      I think it all has to do with how practicing the sister is. Materialism is not part of our deen.
      Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

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      • #4
        Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

        Oh no he didnt

        http://quran.cc/images/Quranlogo.png........http://i.imgur.com/b066ayL.png

        “My sin burdened me heavily. But when I measured it against Your Grace, O Lord, Your forgiveness came out greater.” Imam Shafie

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        • #5
          Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

          fortunately, not all women are inflicted with entitlement syndrome. Yes, a few seemed to contract this debilitating illness through the course of their development, but those who adhere to their deen are inoculated against this horrific syndrome. :D

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          • #6
            Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

            Do I detect resentment, have you been turned down by such sisters?

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            • #7
              Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

              Not always true.

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              • #8
                Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

                One the one hand I agree. Entitlement syndrome is a real virus among people. It started with the Kuffar (and we see how the a MAJORITY of those families are doing <no disrespect intended, im only speaking of divorce and separation stats ) and through deep intermingling by people without or with an underdeveloped internal "this is wrong" or "lemme hold back" mechanism it spread to Muslims, both male and female although it manifests in different ways.

                However, that being said, a women does have the right to choose someone who is suitable for her. Physical attraction, Education and living standard are things a lot of women look for or at least give a thought to when considering a Husband (if we are being real). And that is also her right. It is the Husbands responsibility to provide those things to the best of his ability. Some people really have a phobia of being stuck with a Husband who is not on their level intellectually or cannot connect with them emotionally. Then comes the fear (encouraged by this materialistic society we live in) that if he doesn't have a mansion and a BMW parked in the driveway she'll be stuck in poverty with him. I also understand these already present feelings can be really trumped up by the burden of this decision, a decision once gone through is not exactly easy to reverse.

                That being said, those women that overly focus on such things need an attitude adjustment. Yes, no doubt you should choose someone who suits your standards, but when those standards are overshadowing your primary standard, or what should be your primary standard, which is religious commitment, then you should take a look in the mirror. No one is asking you to marry people who cannot support you what so ever, but you should be moderate in your approach regarding your standards. You shouldn't go to either extremes. Money and Education don't always mean a happier more stable life. Sometimes you find people with a lot of money and education but they are clowns, with little to no religious commitment and will oppress you in all sorts of ways or even worse, misguide you from the path of Allah. So my advice is just be moderate in your approach, and realize not everyone is going to Mr. Perfect. Ease doesn't really build relationships. Tough times and situations, once successfully navigated are what make relationships even stronger.

                As for the brothers, same goes for you. Not everyone is going to be Miss Perfect. Bringing in a women who is not religiously committed and has very little urge to increase in her physical and spiritual materialization of the deen is going to spell disaster for you and your kids. Looking for attraction, is NOT the be all and end all of the formula. Your kids will spend the majority of the time with the mother, and if the mother has little no know inclination towards the deen, then consider your linage to be extreme danger and possibly ruined unless Allah(swt) will otherwise. This is second severity only to you being misguided by your wife into all sorts of calamity and sin. Furthermore, although attraction is good, you have to realize that once you're married, you're going to have to deal with EVERYTHING else. And if you're a religiously committed brother, or trying to be on your deen and then she isn't or doesn't care, you're going to be in a living hell as they say. Then don't even ask about how the kids will be raised. They will almost certainly be neglected in terms of their Islamic upbringing. You have to focus on beyond what you see with your eyes, because in marriage, as in almost everything else in life, what your able to see with the naked eye is never as important as what you can't see with it.


                At the end of the day this is really a matter of your household being elevated towards Jannah or your household collapsing into Jahanam - so both male and female should be cautious of who they choose.

                As the saying goes: Not all that glitters is gold (whether that glitter is beauty or wealth)

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                • #9
                  Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

                  Its too steep of a generalisation tbh.

                  In my experience, more often than not its the parents who are picky more than the daughters (and sons, as it goes for guys as well and is not restricted to women)

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                  • #10
                    Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

                    Originally posted by safreen View Post
                    fortunately, not all women are inflicted with entitlement syndrome. Yes, a few seemed to contract this debilitating illness through the course of their development, but those who adhere to their deen are inoculated against this horrific syndrome. :D
                    I doubt you have read much threads, just check out the latest one on "why British women struggle to find a marriage partner" and have look at what supposed practising sisters are saying. The whole notion that if someone is supposedly religious that they are cured from all their worldly desires and inadequacies is just an idealistic fantasy. This syndrome is independent of religion, we all exhibit some minute traits of it, when a guy says "I wont settle for less" he means in terms of looks and attraction of the women in question, when a women makes such a statement its extends farrrrr and beyond that, I don't have an issue with that if she brings the same things or something of equal substance to the table, but the reality is that in the fast majority of cases she brings absolutely nothing of the things she demands to the table but strongly believes she is entitled to it. This is the Epitome of entitlement syndrome that's holding many of these women back.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

                      Originally posted by Unregistered201 View Post
                      Do I detect resentment, have you been turned down by such sisters?
                      Resentment comes when you have a sense of entitlement to something and you don't get it, I am of the believe that the world doesn't owe any of us **** and hence your wrong, but to answer your question YES I have been turned down a lot more than I have been accepted, it comes down with the territory but just like a top sales person I only focus on the yes and forget the no's.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

                        Originally posted by Inquisitive10 View Post
                        I doubt you have read much threads, just check out the latest one on "why British women struggle to find a marriage partner" and have look at what supposed practising sisters are saying. The whole notion that if someone is supposedly religious that they are cured from all their worldly desires and inadequacies is just an idealistic fantasy. This syndrome is independent of religion, we all exhibit some minute traits of it, when a guy says "I wont settle for less" he means in terms of looks and attraction of the women in question, when a women makes such a statement its extends farrrrr and beyond that, I don't have an issue with that if she brings the same things or something of equal substance to the table, but the reality is that in the fast majority of cases she brings absolutely nothing of the things she demands to the table but strongly believes she is entitled to it. This is the Epitome of entitlement syndrome that's holding many of these women back.
                        You're really out of line. You have no idea what any of us bring to the table, so you are in no position to state what the Vast majority of us are entitled to.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

                          Dude girls aren't the only ones with the issues from what I see here
                          I doubt you have read much threads, just check out the latest one on "why British women struggle to find a marriage partner" and have look at what supposed practising sisters are saying.
                          out of line.

                          Ibn Umar was asked, “Did the sahaba laugh?” He said, “Yes, and the faith in their hearts was like mountains.”

                          "You can not be the ummah that will call the world to goodness if you hate everybody else" - Nouman Ali Khan

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                          • #14
                            Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

                            I think both parties are at fault. And if you've been burned by such people, then perhaps you need to look for a spouse in another place.
                            [RIGHT][SIZE=4]فباي الاء ربكما تكذبان[/SIZE][/RIGHT]

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                            • #15
                              Re: Entitlement Syndrome amongst women

                              on the other thread i have said i dont agree with the mentality of not wanting to marry a taxi driver.

                              however i have to say for me the op doesnt make sense, men and women bring different things to a marriage. it IS the mans job to maintain the woman, so what is weird about a woman requiring qualities in a man that she believes that will make him a better provider without having them herself?

                              isnt that a bit like a saying a man looking for a woman who would be a good mother needs to have the qualities of a good mother himself? or something similarly nonsensical?

                              Also on the thread referred to i believe some sisters ie kya? actually did have those things such as degree, good job etc, but couldnt find a man who had the same, and felt it would cause issues if the woman earnt more then her husband.
                              I am not aware of any sisters on the thread which didnt have a degree demanding a man who had a degree and high paid job?

                              Recipes for all the family :inlove:
                              (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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