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Father Depressed/Family Ruined because of me

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  • Re: Father Depressed/Family Ruined because of me

    someone here said should we give our daughters to show brotherhood or something like that
    your daughter will have a choice of her own islam commanded fathers to take her permission in the matter of her marriage so its not all down to u
    again u said its a win win to give up the girl and please his parents
    would u advice me as a girl to do that too give up a man with good deen and manners ?
    if thats the case u are on the wrong if my parents reject someone for other then his deen and manners that will cause fitnah and corruption on earth its stated in the hadith .
    dad advised me to merry my cousin who is a good friend of dad and a nice guy but he is not religious at all and we grew up together to me he was more like a brother i refused and father was upset
    after that many guys lined up to ask for my hand not because i am a good girl nop but for the sake of my family name people in my culture value family name , tribe fame and i had it all for my dad is a well known politician i refused them all then this brother asked for my hand he ticked all the boxes he is religious as far as i know with manners he is a knowledge seeker and he agreed to my condition to move to a muslim land i told my parents about him
    my mum and dad were upset when i told them i want to merry him they objected coz he is white and his parents are not muslim time and time again i said if u find any fault in him his deen and manners i will give him up straight away but i will not give him up coz he is white or u think mixed marriages dont work or any of that after few months mum agreed and she
    said the guy seems really a good person and i told my dad i wish to merry him he didnt give his blessings he is very mad at me but he has given his consent to merry this guy and we had our nikah 6 days ago the wedding is in the summer insha allah
    it was very hard to go against my father i love mum and dad soooo much they have been great to me but i did the right thing consulted allah in sitkarah few times and got married
    mum is happy for me now though she fears what people would say
    dad lives somewhere else he is still angry but i will pray to allah to make my dad pleased with me and he will be pleased with me insha allah
    so its a win win for me
    merry someone with deen regardless of there race
    Last edited by hopes; 17-03-12, 06:43 PM.

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    • Re: Father Depressed/Family Ruined because of me

      Originally posted by hopes View Post
      someone here said should we give our daughters to show brotherhood or something like that
      your daughter will have a choice of her own islam commanded fathers to take her permission in the matter of her marriage so its not all down to u
      again u said its a win win to give up the girl and please his parents
      would u advice me as a girl to do that too give up a man with good deen and manners ?
      if thats the case u are on the wrong if my parents reject someone for other then his deen and manners that will cause fitnah and corruption on earth its stated in the hadith .
      dad advised me to merry my cousin who is a good friend of dad and a nice guy but he is not religious at all and we grew up together to me he was more like a brother i refused and father was upset
      after that many guys lined up to ask for my hand not because i am a good girl nop but for the sake of my family name people in my culture value family name , tribe fame and i had it all for my dad is a well known politician i refused them all then this brother asked for my hand he ticked all the boxes he is religious as far as i know with manners he is a knowledge seeker and he agreed to my condition to move to a muslim land i told my parents about him
      my mum and dad were upset when i told them i want to merry him they objected coz he is white and his parents are not muslim time and time again i said if u find any fault in him his deen and manners i will give him up straight away but i will not give him up coz he is white or u think mixed marriages dont work or any of that after few months mum agreed and she
      said the guy seems really a good person and i told my dad i wish to merry him he didnt give his blessings he is very mad at me but he has given his consent to merry this guy and we had our nikah 6 days ago the wedding is in the summer insha allah
      it was very hard to go against my father i love mum and dad soooo much they have been great to me but i did the right thing consulted allah in sitkarah few times and got married
      mum is happy for me now though she fears what people would say
      dad lives somewhere else he is still angry but i will pray to allah to make my dad pleased with me and he will be pleased with me insha allah
      so its a win win for me
      merry someone with deen regardless of there race
      :masha:

      May Allah bless your nikah and make your father content with your marriage.
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

      Comment


      • Re: Father Depressed/Family Ruined because of me

        Why not marry the girl in secret, that way your father dosnt go through the trouble neither do you. Everyone is HAPPY!

        Comment


        • Re: Father Depressed/Family Ruined because of me

          Originally posted by Abdur.Rahman View Post
          Why not marry the girl in secret, that way your father dosnt go through the trouble neither do you. Everyone is HAPPY!
          Secret marriages isn't a good idea.
          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

          Comment


          • Re: Father Depressed/Family Ruined because of me

            Originally posted by peace keeper View Post
            There is no bigger picture here. It is just a classical emotional overflow that is being justified in the name of Islam.

            Thats why I have problems with these love marriages. They are just excuses for justifying carnal desire while hiding behind religion.
            You do realise that desire is something that Allah has put in human beings. Many brothers (and sisters) are committing haraam because they can't find a halal way, can't get married, can't find the right person..etc. The brother knows best about what might be a trial for him. His parents are rejecting someone on false premises, perhaps they will change their views and become pleased with him and his future family. Allah teaches us and makes a way out for us if we try and do what is right and just becuase perhaps your decision was right for you it doesn't mean this brother's circumstances are the same and it is right for him.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZVEydn3RKk

            Comment


            • Re: Father Depressed/Family Ruined because of me

              Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
              :masha:

              May Allah bless your nikah and make your father content with your marriage.
              ameen and jazakallah khair brother

              Comment


              • Re: Father Depressed/Family Ruined because of me

                Originally posted by madara View Post
                The whole heart attack and emotional blackmailing is not something new. Google it. It is a pretty common tactic of subcontinent parents. I would be less worried about the deen of your spouses' parents since its obvious that Muslim parents (ie your father in this case) doesn't respect Islam anymore than these people.

                Marry that woman and make her you rqueen.
                well said the uchiha knows it all lol..

                but jokes aside..you are doign a good thing why let tradition mess it up, i wish my kids grow up strong as you :)

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