Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Question of marriage

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Question of marriage

    Salam aleykom
    So today i went at the masjid to pray mghrib and 'isha, so when i left to go take the subway to go back home, a man came to me and asked me for a tissue (yeah i know) i was listening to Quran on my mp3 so I didn't hear him at first until i saw him next to me, i asked him what he wanted and he told me if i had a tissue i told him no sorry then i started walking again and he talked to me and that he saw me at the masjid and that he thinks i'm pretty.../: he asked how can I ask a woman for marriage actually he didnt finish his sentence but I knew what he wanted to say so I told him i'm not interested in getting married but he said he's not either.. it was so awkward and I felt so bad because i thought if someone sees me here they're gonna think i'm talking to random men :(
    So I don't know - but i thought it was very disrespectful ..We cover ourselves not to look attractive yet for some men it's not enough.. what the?
    Anyways so my question is can a man ask for marriage to a woman on the street? So if you see someone that you would like to marry but you probably won't see that person again, how do you do??
    edit; oops cant edit the title?
    The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing)” (3:185)

    Avoid excessive laughter and useless arguments as they harden the heart and lead to heedlessness.

  • #2
    Re: Question of marriage

    assalamu alaykum

    i personally find it very rude when men do that. It has happened to me before and if i am completely honest, had the person approached me in a more appropriate way, I may have considered it. I don't understand how someone can ask to marry someone they have just seen on the street, it shows how shallow they are. I do not believe that you can want to marry someone you see on the street, it is more of a 'i wana get to know ya' kind of thing. That's my opinion

    Love at first sight is a farce.
    Last edited by sis_on_sunnah; 23-12-11, 12:12 AM.
    http://www.deenulhuq.wordpress.com

    Don't depend on anyone too much in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness ~ibn taymiyyah

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Question of marriage

      :wswrwb:

      Hmm...not sure about this person.

      He's not interested in marriage, yet he asked that?

      Who would ask a random sister on the street on how to approach a person for marriage? Just doesn't sound right. Allah knows best his intentions.

      I personally think, if you see a sister on the street (or a brother), then really, I don't think it's a good idea to ask that question. If you've seen her before somewhere and know her even a little bit, then maybe, maybe. Better way would be to go through a 3rd party or her wali.

      But, first time seeing someone and asking for marriage, it doesn't sound right to me.

      On a side note, a woman did come up to Rasulullah :saw: when he was sitting with the Sahabas (RA) and straight out asked for marriage, as far as I know of that haidth. So, hmmm...
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Question of marriage

        :wswrwb:

        That must've really embarrassing, Sis, I think you dealt with it well. How does a Muslim man think its okay to go up to a Hijaabi and tell them they're pretty?

        "Can a man ask for marriage to a woman on the street?" - it seems so, yes. Should he? From the above reactions, probably not if the person's a complete stranger whom he knows nothing of.

        Re: .mirror.'s example - well, she would have known Rasulullah :saw: and his character, so that's different?
        Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
        O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
        We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Question of marriage

          Yeah, but, even if he knew her and her character, asking on the street? =\ That's the issue.

          I remember Baba Ali did something like that and it went well for him. It seemed like an OK way to go about it. I'll look for the vid.

          Edit: Can't find it.
          Last edited by .mirror.; 23-12-11, 02:44 AM.
          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Question of marriage

            Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
            Yeah, but, even if he knew her and her character, asking on the street? =\ That's the issue.

            I remember Baba Ali did something like that and it went well for him. It seemed like an OK way to go about it. I'll look for the vid.
            We're back to the "should a person do this?", and that involves too many considerations for me to work out. :o I'd take the lazy option and refrain.
            Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
            O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
            We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Question of marriage

              Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
              Yeah, but, even if he knew her and her character, asking on the street? =\ That's the issue.

              I remember Baba Ali did something like that and it went well for him. It seemed like an OK way to go about it. I'll look for the vid.

              Edit: Can't find it.
              He mentioned that story on one of his 'the strangers tour' in Canada. But when he approached the sis, he asked for her wali's number, so it's different. It's not proper for a muslim bro to go tell a sis she's 'pretty', it's not like the kafir guys are annoying enough, now we have to worry about brothers too? Situations with brothers are WAY more awkward. But then again you have sisters approaching brothers too, ohemgee.
              الحق لا يعرف بالرجال، اعرف الحق تعرف رجاله

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Question of marriage

                Hmmm...not the best way to go, I guess.

                Maybe, last resort...
                Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Question of marriage

                  i think baba ali gave her a paper with his details on and told her if she would consider him please give her wali the details, or he said he would be on this stall if she was interested please give him her walis details, and she found him later and said salaam and passed him a note.

                  totally different situation to sitting next to a hijabi and saying she is pretty imo.

                  Recipes for all the family :inlove:
                  (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Question of marriage

                    I had something similar happen to me while I was in college & I reacted the same way OP did, which i don't think was the most mature way either (althought I was young and was not thinking abt marriage at the time). When a brother says "whom do I talk to about marriage", he does not mean to fix marriage but to get to know thru appropiate means. It sounds like the brother was trying to ask for wali information except he didn't say it the right way & often time words don't come out the way we intent to say when we are nervous.

                    Now, I don't see anything wrong with a brother approaching someone they see in street to ask for direction in-terms of whom they should contact. As you can see from threads in this forum, plenty of brothers don't know where to turn when it comes to marriage, especially those without family around & masjids aren't much help. They have no means but to apprach a hijabi sister that seems semi interesting. Atleast he didn't follow you home.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Question of marriage

                      ↑But, he said he's not interested in marriage? =/
                      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X