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  • #31
    Re: weird situation

    Suspicion is haram

    Recipes for all the family :inlove:
    (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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    • #32
      Re: weird situation

      All I can glean from this is:

      1- You were both in the wrong for continuing to contact each other even though the possibility of marriage was no longer on the table

      2- Blackmail is not a good foundation for a marriage

      3- Even if she does go to your parents to fulfil her threat, it's better to take the consequences of that rather than marry someone on the basis of a fear of threats

      4- Repent to Allah (swt) and change your ways; when faced with a dilemma of considering marriage with someone your parents dislike, the wrong way to go about it is to string her along for months so that you can "have your cake and eat it" (ie maintain a relationship without marriage so as to avoid angering your parents or making a commitment)... you should not allow such a situation to arise again... either stand up to your parents and say you want to marry someone of your own choice or accept your parents decision and move on

      That's all I can think of for now.
      Last edited by neelu; 22-12-11, 09:34 PM.
      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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      • #33
        Re: weird situation

        ....
        Last edited by Grotbags; 14-08-15, 11:50 PM.
        The Prophet SAW said, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim

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        • #34
          Re: weird situation

          Originally posted by squidster View Post
          i am in a weird situation..this potential woman that i am talking to when things dont go her way she keeps on threatening me that she will go and tell my parents xyz (which is embarrassing for me obv)..not sure if alll girls are like this or just this one?
          :salams

          This situation is still going on? Brother, you have known for a long time now that your parents don't approve of this woman. If you know you are not going to go against your parents, then let the woman go. It doesn't matter how much of an emotional attachment you have with her. If you are not going to marry her, then let it go. Delete, block, move, whatever you need to do. If she threatens to tell your parents something, who cares. Your parents don't like her anyway. Tell her it's O-V-E-R, don't contact me anymore, I'm not going to contact you anymore, say what you want to whoever you want, we are not getting married. Khalas! I seriously hope you take action and resolve this thing once and for all, and don't make the same mistake again.

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          • #35
            Re: weird situation

            Originally posted by squidster View Post
            i know what u mean...i just feel like i wasted her time..
            i have been talking to her for last 8 months... and i feel really baaad..
            what can i do to make myself from feeling bad and missing her?
            It's not going to happen in a night and a day. You're not going to feel great and forget all about her in 5 minutes.
            Like anything else you've gotten yourself used to, it'll be tough working her out of your system. Make sure that you surround yourself with good company, keep yourself busy, and refrain from putting yourself in situations that will trigger missing/chatting with her. That's a start.
            Last edited by Deema; 23-12-11, 03:24 AM.

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            • #36
              Re: weird situation

              leave her, she is very childish and won't think twice to blackmail you into doing things.
              "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

              Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

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              • #37
                Re: weird situation

                All the girl wants to do is marry you and be with you forever and make things halal. .................... And you have a problem with that????????

                Just make things halal. Stop making the poor girl suffer because you aren't man enough to finish what you started off 8 months ago. Guys like you are disgusting

                You have 2 options: Do what is right for her by marring her or If you don't want to marry her, apologize to her and cut things off. There is no middle ground

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                • #38
                  Re: weird situation

                  They are both at fault, really. We can't just say he's disgusting and girl wants to make things halal. She was involved for 8 months, as well. She could've ended it a long time ago.
                  Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                  "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                  - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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                  • #39
                    Re: weird situation

                    Originally posted by Kya View Post
                    All the girl wants to do is marry you and be with you forever and make things halal. .................... And you have a problem with that????????

                    Just make things halal. Stop making the poor girl suffer because you aren't man enough to finish what you started off 8 months ago. Guys like you are disgusting

                    You have 2 options: Do what is right for her by marring her or If you don't want to marry her, apologize to her and cut things off. There is no middle ground
                    Of course he has a problem with making it halal his parent say no so he just drags along making her think he loves her and now hes scared shes going to spill the beans to mummy and daddy he should just leave her alone and let her find a real man.

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                    • #40
                      Re: weird situation

                      It may be that she resorted to "blackmail" in order to get you to think about marriage. Allah knows best.

                      Since you say there is too much emotional attachment, you should man up and marry her.

                      If you can't do that, leave her.

                      8 months time invested is nothing. You both can walk away and agree not to talk every again and cut all modes of contact. You may both cry for a while but you'll get over it.
                      -

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