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Troubled with Marriage....

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  • Troubled with Marriage....

    I'm new to this site and I'd like to say Hello Everyone, I hope you guys are doing well InshAllah. I'm not sure how to start this post since I'm not really into forums, but right now, I'm at a point where I'm so stressed out and feel so depressed where I need a site where I could talk about this problem I have and not be judged for it...Marriage is a huge deal and people tend to judge negatively when you're ready for marriage, so when some girl feels depressed and stressed because she's not married, harsh assumptions gets their way, and I don't want to go through that....which led me here...

    I'm 23 and currently a college student. I've been ready for marriage since I turned 20. My father has strong attachments towards myself and my sisters, so when someone comes to the door and ask for our hand in marriage, he believes they're not good enough for any of us and says no without digging up their backgrounds to see if they were a good potential guy or not... A year ago, I grew the strength to tell my father that I was ready. At first, he was in denial, but he finally realized that it was something i actually wanted. Many families have asked. So many...I didn't realize it was so much until I currently counted them in my head. I didn't feel alot of them were a right match because they either were really bad guys or my family said they weren't a high class family (yes, our family go by the high class, low class status sadly)....Finally just recently like a month ago, a family asked who was a great potential for myself and was from a good family, I was super excited because i was starting to give up hope that I was never going to get married because the good ones who my family would approved of married someone else..Just moments ago, I found out the boy is engaged to someone else. I don't understand what happen..but I nearly cried myself to death and feel very scared. I don't know what to do...I know there's nothing wrong with me..I just don't understand why...

  • #2
    Re: Troubled with Marriage....

    Just place your hope in Allah and trust in him and be patient, make dua.. Allah is there with you and know what you are going through, do not worry about it too much and do not loose hope. As long as uve done ur effort you are not to be blamed and should not worry.. and know that Allah will award u for ur patience... maybe he will give u a better husband than what uve had in ur mind, what do u know what he has planned for u? We think we have an idea whats good for us and whats not.. but thats not the case Allah knows what is good and best for us, so think positively and always think that what ever is happening to you is good for you , even if it seems bad at the moment...

    Sahih International ( 3:159 )
    So by mercy from Allah , [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].

    Thats my advice sister.. dont take these small things to hard on ur self.. seems like ur beeing a little bit too emotional also.. ( not so surprising since ur a female =) )


    • #3
      Re: Troubled with Marriage....


      Sister, why are you crying over someone who was never there? I mean, really, it's not like everything was fixed and nikah was just 1 week away. If he's engaged to someone else, then know very well that Allah did not write him for you. It's really simple as that. There's no guarantee that he would've been the vest husband that you are imagining. So, take this as a clue that Allah saved you from something and move on.

      You're only 23 years old. You have a LOT of time. So, please don't think no one will ever come. That's just not true. People get married twice your age and even more!

      As for the fact he got engaged without telling you, well, he is not obligated to tell you anything, because you are a non-mahram to him and I don't think the marriage process went far ahead.. He can do whatever he wants marry whoever he want. Same goes for you.

      It's good your Dad has come around to it. So, maybe, you can ask him to help you search for a husband? Why not try that? Anyways, if you're crying because you think you won't find anyone better than this guy, then please, that's no reason to cry. :insha: Don't you have faith in Allah? Of course, you do.

      May Allah bless you with a righteous husband.
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎