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Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

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  • #46
    Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

    DEENI ambition :up:
    "Do not lose hope in adversity and complain that God singled you out for punishment, remitting others guilty of worse sins.Your present state could very well be His intent to elevate your spiritual station; or He could just be testing your faith. Everyday that you persevere, you grow closer to perfection.Thus your present despair may be beginning of an infinite blessing.":love:

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    • #47
      Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

      Originally posted by mizfissy815 View Post
      Ok, I don't know whether I'm misunderstanding what you mean by ambition here or not, but I don't think it's bad thing at all to have. It's brilliant actually.

      Ambition for me, would mean doing the best you can in what you do, with the intent that you get to do something more challenging if you succeed and then doing that to the best of your ability- regardless of whether you're paid the minimum wage or banker's salary.

      Ambition is the core of motivation and without that, you'll probably not enjoy what you're doing or care for that matter. Depending on what it is you do, you may get away with it or it may be completely detrimental to your career.

      A doctor with ambition would try to give their patients the best care possible by seeking to learn the newest/best/least invasive medical techniques/investing in the best equipment...basically go out of their way to be the best. That's a brilliant thing and that can be applied to any and all service providers.

      Heck, ambition is the core of certain professions most notably researchers, scientists, engineers etc. I'm not even sure you can be considered a 'researcher' if you didn't have any ambition...you'd never get any results.

      I don't see how career ambition here is being tied in with a high-flying, money-making career.

      Enjoying a challenge in the work place and feeling the motivation to take it on and do your best, is the essence of ambition IMO, regardless of whether you get paid for it or not.
      I agree. Deen and ambition for one's work is not mutually exclusive. As long as you will be spending 6-12 hours a day doing something to make a living, you might as well do the best you can and get the most out of it that you can. Excellence is also part of our religion.
      Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

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      • #48
        Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

        In my family, we've always strived for deen ambition as well as career ambition.

        I desire that my children become high flying doctors, lawyers, engineers, get scholarships, go to the best Uni's in the world etc etc

        I also desire that they become scholars, memorise the Quran, spread, learn and teach Islam etc etc

        Thats what I got from my parents, thats what my husband is like, thats what I desire from my children too.
        https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

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        • #49
          Ambition is important. If you don't have ambition how will you achieve your goals? Don't have goals? What does that make you?

          Ambition in deen and career are not mutually exclusive. In fact a deeni person in a high profile career allows others to learn about Islam and not be influenced by crap.

          That being said because we have senior management who are Muslim and that helped my manager better understand me and my needs. All management now know issues about alcohol and such. How can this be a bad thing? If anything we need more Muslims in higher positions to have a greater influence and make the workplace more accommodating for Muslims.

          You should always strive for the best you can be in every aspect of your life.
          Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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          • #50
            Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

            Originally posted by GuCcI View Post
            Ambition is important. If you don't have ambition how will you achieve your goals? Don't have goals? What does that make you?
            .
            dont know...someone with more to live for than climbing some corporate ladder in order to get more power and money? someone who treats this life like his on a journey and doesnt attach himself to it or obsess over minor worldy things? a loser? what exactly does it make you?

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            • #51
              If you read my post I didn't mention career at all in my first paragraph. All I said was ambition and goals. Now you can put two and two together and not assume words that aren't even there. What does that make a person who doesn't understand what he reads and goes off at people
              Last edited by GuCcI; 08-12-11, 03:19 AM.
              Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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              • #52
                Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

                Originally posted by -Shamil- View Post
                dont know...someone with more to live for than climbing some corporate ladder in order to get more power and money? someone who treats this life like his on a journey and doesnt attach himself to it or obsess over minor worldy things? a loser? what exactly does it make you?

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                • #53
                  Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

                  Originally posted by -Shamil- View Post
                  Assalam Alayykum

                  Is ambition in career an important part of what you look for in a husband? I ask because Ive had this issue for quite a few potentials - with the latest one this point was probably the main reason that we called it off as it was becoming a major point.

                  I dont have ANY ambition when it comes to my career - to put it basically...I dont care. Thats not to say im lazy or I dont work hard - Im saying I have no interest in career progression and making it big.

                  If I pursued my career in the subject of my degree, I could have potentially lucrative salary...I mean really well paid - but I hated my degree and have no desire to follow that path - Im quite happy in a poorly paid job, barely above the national minimum wage because i enjoy it. Plus its not stressful or boring and gives me free time to do other things.

                  Ive realised Iv had this issue of lack of ambition with all potential partners apart from 1 - so is this really important for sisters? If so, whats so important about it. Money? Power? Its something I dont understand.
                  Not having ambition shows a lack of confidence in a man, and a fear of failing. if you have a degree, and you're wasting it, well you've been blessed with something most people can only dream of. It's so expensive these days, that anyone who does have a degree should be grateful. Subhanallah, we should be grateful for every resource Allah blesses us with and not look down on it.

                  Your spoilt attitude only comes from the fact that you live in a first world country. Try living in Africa where there is no minimum wage and university is only for the elite who can afford it. When you have to work to eat, and can only afford to feed your family on the days you work, you're degree and the permanent job with perks and leave etc will start looking very atractive to you.

                  But say, you want to throw all those years of effort in the bin and you don't want to work in your professional field, then how are you planning on moving forward with your life financially? Because after all, its your job to financiall support your wife andk kids. Are you planning on opening a business and trying to make it grow?

                  BTW- What do you need spare time for?

                  The plain fact is, life is expensive, and it gets more expensive as you get more kids, and your parents get dependent on you, and you might have to take care of other family members. How are you going to do all that on a minium wage, or are you expecting your wife to get fed up of not having clothes/food and getting a part time job.

                  Right now you are just supporting yoruself, but later your wife will look up to you for support, then your children will be looking up to you for support, then your parents. What plans have you made to meed these growing responsibilities. It's true that rizk is from Allah, but you have to make and effort to search for and earn that rizk.

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                  • #54
                    Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

                    People need to realise that you can't have it both ways, i.e. some sisters want their husbands to leave work at work. It's near enough impossible to be ambitions if work remains at work. To be ambitious, extra work needs to come home!

                    So generally speaking, it either

                    Leave work at work and give all after work time to family and more or less give up the idea of being ambitious,

                    Or, ive up some time with family and be ambitious.
                    Last edited by elitealot; 08-12-11, 01:06 PM.

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                    • #55
                      Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

                      Originally posted by GuCcI View Post
                      If you read my post I didn't mention career at all in my first paragraph. All I said was ambition and goals. Now you can put two and two together and not assume words that aren't even there. What does that make a person who doesn't understand what he reads and goes off at people
                      I asked you some questions, no need to pretend i was attacking you

                      plus i think i made it clear more than once this thread is about ambition in career and nothing else

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                      • #56
                        Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

                        Originally posted by Ikki View Post
                        Not having ambition shows a lack of confidence in a man, and a fear of failing. if you have a degree, and you're wasting it, well you've been blessed with something most people can only dream of. It's so expensive these days, that anyone who does have a degree should be grateful. Subhanallah, we should be grateful for every resource Allah blesses us with and not look down on it.
                        actually if there was a fear of failing or a lack of confidence i wouldnt have gone through with the degree in the 1st place - as it was, whilst many people struggled, i found it easy - thing is it was incredibly boring and the job itself is even more boring and time-consuming
                        not only that but to pursue a career in it would have me working beyond the normal 9-5 working hours and taking time away from my other activities such as taking fiqh classes which i started couple of months ago as well as arabic classes and all the other things i want to do

                        and who said im looking down on it - i just dont enjoy it and i dont see the point of sacrificing so much for something that will not benefit me at all in the next life

                        btw i only just finished replying to the 1st paragraph and alread you have assumed some things about me:
                        1) i look down on degrees or people with them
                        2) i have a lack of confidence
                        3) fear of failing
                        4) im ungrateful

                        not only are they nonsense, i also dont see how you could gather any of the above information without knowing me - so please spare me the wild assumptions - i dread to think what asumptions the next few paragraphs contain

                        Your spoilt attitude only comes from the fact that you live in a first world country. Try living in Africa where there is no minimum wage and university is only for the elite who can afford it. When you have to work to eat, and can only afford to feed your family on the days you work, you're degree and the permanent job with perks and leave etc will start looking very atractive to you.
                        ah heres a new one:
                        5) im spoilt

                        sorry to break it to you but i do work to eat and help my family - i dont know what impression you have of the 1st world as you call it but generally people go out to work, at the end of the month they get a pay cheque which they then proceed to spend on their needs and on their families

                        you seem to equate, not follwing a career with not working and sitting on your backside and being spoilt - i think you seriously have to re-evaluate your views if thats the case - your living in a dream world

                        But say, you want to throw all those years of effort in the bin and you don't want to work in your professional field, then how are you planning on moving forward with your life financially? Because after all, its your job to financiall support your wife andk kids. Are you planning on opening a business and trying to make it grow?
                        next assumption:
                        6) you cannot support your wife and kids unless you follow a professional career

                        again lets enter reality once more - my mum raised all her children as a single mum and on benefits - the money was pathetic but she did it comfortably...and theres countless other examples of people doing so on such small amounts of money

                        i, however am not in that situation as im earning and have amount of money - enough to not only support any wife or kids but also mother and brothers and sisters - to think that only by a following a high flying career can you provide with your family is not only really naieve but shows your out of touch with everyday people - and i mean really out of touch

                        if my future wife wants a ferrari and a mansion - then no i, not gonna be able to provide her with that but i would make sure i dont end up marrying such a shallow person who has such ridiculous demands that are all dunya-related and kinda pathetic...when we look at the homes of the prophet (SAW) and the sahaba (RA), we see they had next to no worldly possessions - their houses were empty...we have a million times more than they have already but we're still not satisfied and people are telling us that we need to earn even more and obtain even more worldy good

                        BTW- What do you need spare time for?
                        i really hope this is a genuine question and not a sarcastic remark suggesting whats the point of spare time when it could be spent on career

                        ok somethings i spend my time on: classes im undertaking, trying to learn arabic, reading -something i love doing but never have time for, staying fit, going gym, playing sports...football, tennis, badminton etc. spending time with family

                        The plain fact is, life is expensive, and it gets more expensive as you get more kids, and your parents get dependent on you, and you might have to take care of other family members. How are you going to do all that on a minium wage, or are you expecting your wife to get fed up of not having clothes/food and getting a part time job.

                        Right now you are just supporting yoruself, but later your wife will look up to you for support, then your children will be looking up to you for support, then your parents. What plans have you made to meed these growing responsibilities. It's true that rizk is from Allah, but you have to make and effort to search for and earn that rizk.
                        already answered trhis above - minimum wage has not only allowed me to save money but spend it - i know i can comfortably live with wife and kids as people have done it with incredibly less resources than i have - she can have all the clothes she wants as half of my money would be hers...i dont mind her spending but i would inshallah prefer a wife who has that balance between dunya and akhirah and someone who would rather give sadaqah than buy a new pair of clothes every week - again if we look at the way the sahaba lived (RA) my family would be living like kings compared to them and none of it will count for anything as the sahaba (RA) are the true kings, we're just a bunch of people who have convinced ourselves that happy marriages are reliant on how much your earning

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                        • #57
                          Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

                          Are there no sisters anymore like the wives of Said ibn Aamir, Abu Darda, and Umayr ibn Saad (May Allah be pleased with them all)?

                          Would any sisters object to her husband spending most of his salary in sadaqa and living hand to mouth? Or just giving his full savings in sadaqa every now and then? Or even just spending freely and generously on himself and everyone else around him to the extent that he is not able to save much?
                          Last edited by abdulsidd; 08-12-11, 07:51 PM.

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                          • #58
                            Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

                            Its a shame that a lot of muslimahs seem to want to live a life of luxury. I, for one, don't see the point of having ambitions in ones career to move up the ladder. As long as you get a decent salary, enough for food, clothes and accommodation, its enough. For, me a decent paid 9-5 job with no worries is perfect.

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                            • #59
                              Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

                              Originally posted by Ikki View Post
                              Not having ambition shows a lack of confidence in a man, and a fear of failing. if you have a degree, and you're wasting it, well you've been blessed with something most people can only dream of. It's so expensive these days, that anyone who does have a degree should be grateful. Subhanallah, we should be grateful for every resource Allah blesses us with and not look down on it.

                              Your spoilt attitude only comes from the fact that you live in a first world country. Try living in Africa where there is no minimum wage and university is only for the elite who can afford it. When you have to work to eat, and can only afford to feed your family on the days you work, you're degree and the permanent job with perks and leave etc will start looking very atractive to you.

                              But say, you want to throw all those years of effort in the bin and you don't want to work in your professional field, then how are you planning on moving forward with your life financially? Because after all, its your job to financiall support your wife andk kids. Are you planning on opening a business and trying to make it grow?

                              BTW- What do you need spare time for?

                              The plain fact is, life is expensive, and it gets more expensive as you get more kids, and your parents get dependent on you, and you might have to take care of other family members. How are you going to do all that on a minium wage, or are you expecting your wife to get fed up of not having clothes/food and getting a part time job.

                              Right now you are just supporting yoruself, but later your wife will look up to you for support, then your children will be looking up to you for support, then your parents. What plans have you made to meed these growing responsibilities. It's true that rizk is from Allah, but you have to make and effort to search for and earn that rizk.
                              This post was incredibly rude. The brother is spoiled because he is comfortable with his current job? It's a lack of confidence? No, a lack of confidence is someone who is uncomfortable with himself and what he is doing, so he is always seeking more and more. A brother who is earning enough to pay the bills and is comfortable, regardless of being a high-flying doctor or whatever, is confident.

                              Speaking of doctors, let's just clear up some misconceptions. Not all doctors are ambitious, believe it or not. I was engaged to two surgeons. One was ambitious and the other was not. Yes, they have continuing education requirements, etc. Those are standards generally set by associations and/or government. That doesn't mean that the individual is ambitious and wanting to always learn something new. A person needs to do the best that he can at what he is doing or, guess what, he may not have a job much longer. These are basic requirements of anyone who is working. They are not necessarily signs of ambition.

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                              • #60
                                Re: Sisters - Is Ambition an Important Characteristic in a Guy?

                                Originally posted by Yaqoot Marjaan View Post
                                Its a shame that a lot of muslimahs seem to want to live a life of luxury. I, for one, don't see the point of having ambitions in ones career to move up the ladder. As long as you get a decent salary, enough for food, clothes and accommodation, its enough. For, me a decent paid 9-5 job with no worries is perfect.
                                Agreed. Its all about contentment. Alhamdulillah, I have a stable entry level job but I can't say that I have much ambition to eventually achieve a very senior position. Maybe a step or two above my current position, but that's it. I'm more focused on doing well in my current position. If I get a senior position, then I might try it out to see how it affects my free/family time and Iman. Senior positions are a headache. And its just more responsibility for which we will be accountable.

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