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Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

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    Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

    :salams

    I'm looking for different perspectives on the issue. If a wife takes some of her husband's money in his absence without his permission and doesn't tell him , would you consider it stealing ?

    The husband gives the wife an allowance, but the wife wants the extra money to buy herself some things .

    Brothers, would you mind if your wife did this or would you shrug it off as a minor issue ?

    Sisters, do you think this is acceptable ?

    :jkk:
    106
    I'm a brother and I consider it as stealing
    29.25%
    31
    I'm a sister and I consider it as stealing
    12.26%
    13
    I'm a brother and I don't consider it as stealing. I wouldn't mind if my wife took my money
    14.15%
    15
    I'm a sister and I don't consider it as stealing. My husband's money is my money
    24.53%
    26
    I'm not sure
    19.81%
    21

    #2
    Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

    i would be upset and it would actually make me re evaluate the situation im in.

    my wife wants dunya so much, that she feels that she can secretly take money that maybe i put aside for things life rent, bills, ect ect instead of have open communication with me.

    that says alot in of itself. i would forgive, not freak out over it, but its not something that would happen again inshallah. open communication is key. the issue for me here isint really about the money its about the sneaky underhanded business going on here.
    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

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      #3
      Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

      :wswrwb: Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, came to the Prophet :saw: and said, "O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man and does not give me and my children enough provisions except when I take something from him with out his knowledge. " The Prophet :saw: said, "Take what is reasonably sufficient for you and your children. " (Bukhari and Muslim)
      "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

      The Prophet :saw: said:

      "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

      muslim

      Narrated 'Abdullah:

      The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


      "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

      By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

      [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

        Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
        :wswrwb: Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, came to Prophet Muhammad :saw: and said, "O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man and does not give me and my children enough provisions except when I take something from him with out his knowledge. " Prophet Muhammad :saw: said, "Take what is reasonably sufficient for you and your children. " (Bukhari and Muslim)
        indeed but that was because he was real stingy (it seems).

        lets assume this is like a "normal" marriage. dont you think open communication is the key here? i dont see whats so difficult about asking for some extra moolaz for whatever.
        And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

        O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

        JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

        sponsor an orphan

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

          Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
          :wswrwb: Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, came to the Prophet :saw: and said, "O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man and does not give me and my children enough provisions except when I take something from him with out his knowledge. " The Prophet :saw: said, "Take what is reasonably sufficient for you and your children. " (Bukhari and Muslim)
          :jkk: My question was the husband gives the wife an allowance, apparently , the wife doesn't consider it reasonably sufficient for herself and takes something extra. In this case, would it still be considered stealing?

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

            Depends how much, my wife gets several allowances so I guess I'd be pretty ****ed unless it was a very small amount.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

              No its not acceptable to me,just ask no need to take anything without letting your husband know. Its like 2 wrong things 1 your taking money thats his and 2 your not asking him if its ok to buy whatever you took the money for. Unless hes extremely stingy and you have no food thats the only exception I can think of.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

                I don't see it as stealing to just use your husbands money as you want or need.. although I suppose its different if she does have an "allowance" and the other money is set aside for something specific eg bills or his own expenses and if the allowance is enough then why take more, but if he is stingy or she has not been left enough money for the family food, childrens things etc then its not stealing as husband has a duty to provide for those things, like the hadith asiya has posted.
                although i find this concept of stealing between husband and wife a little weird personally, i dont see the need to be so strict about what money is for him, what money is for her etc, marriage is a team and a partnership so what is wrong with wife having open access to the husbands/family money, surely he should trust her or else why has he married someone not trustworthy?? imo it is a bit controlling to restrict her so much, of course unless finance are severely limited then every person in the family needs to restrict themselves but if finance not too much of an issue, why not trust her to spend whats needed and obviously if there is a very large purchase she wants to make she would probably check it with the husband whether it can be afforded at that time or better to wait and buy in a couple of months or forget about it. but generally if the husband goes so far as to say "stealing" to the wife for using his income for her or childrens or the family or house needs, then i think that marks him out as being tight because that shows the attitude. like i just cant imagine my husband saying that (mashaallah..) if they say please dont spend too much this month we cant afford it etc, that is normal, but not accusing of stealing and being so strict with the wife like that :S
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                  #9
                  Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

                  :wswrwb:

                  I think it depends on the circumstances...

                  Theft: "A person is guilty of theft if he dishonestly appropriates property belonging to another with the intention of permanently depriving the other of it." S1 Theft Act 1968

                  However, it does not count as theft if you have the consent of the owner (in this case the husband); and your behaviour is not considered 'dishonest' if the person appropriates the property in the belief that "he would have the other's consent if the other knew of the appropriation and the circumstances of it" (s2(1)(b))

                  So it all boils down to this:
                  If the husband was/would be fine about it, no it's not stealing
                  If he wasn't/wouldn't be fine with it, then yeah, it's stealing

                  But this is English law... at the end of the day it all comes down to your own morals and principles, and the circumstances between husband and wife.
                  Last edited by debonaire; 28-11-11, 01:06 PM.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I don't get an allowance???
                    Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

                      Originally posted by GuCcI View Post
                      I don't get an allowance???
                      Shame, go hang him. My wife wants an increase.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

                        If she knows her husband will throw a wobbly and get upset at her taking extra money from his wallet then she shouldnt do it w/o asking him.

                        if she knows it wont bother him, then there is no issue - its not considered stealing.
                        You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

                        ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

                          Originally posted by Ebony View Post
                          If she knows her husband will throw a wobbly and get upset at her taking extra money from his wallet then she shouldnt do it w/o asking him.

                          if she knows it wont bother him, then there is no issue - its not considered stealing.
                          Sums my post up nicely lol

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

                            if the wife already recieves an allowance that is sufficient, then it's stealing.
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                              #15
                              Re: Taking Husband's Money Without Permission = Stealing ?

                              I don't get an allowance either, my husb tells me to take however much I need but then moans at me afterwards for overspending...typical!
                              Allah's Messenger :saw: said: "Allah the Exalted said: I live in the thought of My servant and I am with him as he remembers Me. When he draws near Me by the span of his hand, I draw near him by the length of a cubit, and when he draws near Me by the length of a cubit, I draw near him by the length of a fathom, and when he draws near Me walking I draw close to him running." (Al-Bukhari)

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