About Divorce

[Juvegirl]

As salaamualeikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

Inshallah I will never need to know about divorce in Islam. However, having read some of the posts in this section over the last month or two, I realize that I don't know really anything about it. I have some questions:

1. Are there grounds necessary for a man to obtain a divorce from his wife?
2. If a man divorces his wife, what rights does she have?
3. Are there grounds necessary for a woman to obtain a divorce from her husband?
4. If she does, what rights does she have?
5. What are the different names of divorce and what do they mean? I see talaq, khula and others (I think). It seems that talaq is when the man asks and khula is when the woman asks.
6. What happens if you divorce and the man doesn't want the material things you two built up together? Is it haram for the woman to keep them if he allows it? What if he changes his mind?
7. In the case of multiple wives, what is the right of a wife who is being neglected? (For the sake of discussion, let's say there is a severe difference in treatment, not a minor one.)
8. What if a woman wants her husband to marry again and he refuses?
9. If wife No. 1 contributes financially to the home due to hardship (and not because she particularly wants to), what rights does the husband have to a second wife or to property in event of divorce?
10. Similarly, if wife No. 1 consistently 'does without' to ease financial hardship, what rights does the husband have to a second wife or to property in event of divorce?

Wallahi I'm not trying to instigate fitnah but these are topics that have been on my mind and I'm curious about them.

Regarding the last 3 questions:
8 - I'm specially thinking about when wife No. 1 is infertile and she wants to see her husband have children and perhaps have the opportunity to enjoy these children (if on a limited basis) herself. Other circumstances may apply.
9&10 are my situation, where I (slightly) outearn my husband and contribute equally to our finances because he could not support the two of us alone. In addition, much of our furnishings were mine before we married.

Again, I hope I will never need to know the details of divorce, but if I am to be left penniless after contributing financially for years, I want to know so I can attempt to provide some backup for myself should the need ever arise.

Jzkhr.

[-Jibril-]

Re: About Divorce

Why would one even want a second wife when he cant provide properly for his first? especially if she's against it.

[noobz]

Re: About Divorce

Why would one even want a second wife when he cant provide properly for his first? especially if she's against it.

so what if the 1st wife is against it? ....

[-Jibril-]

Re: About Divorce

so what if the 1st wife is against it? ....

Then its gna be another divorce to notch under your belt.

Bro, as much as we'd like the world to be Islamic, the problem is that in majority of these cases, it ends up in divorce if its done against the wishes of the first wife.

[uncle umar]

Re: About Divorce

As salaamualeikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

Inshallah I will never need to know about divorce in Islam. However, having read some of the posts in this section over the last month or two, I realize that I don't know really anything about it. I have some questions:

1. Are there grounds necessary for a man to obtain a divorce from his wife?

yes. divorce is not a game. he needs some valid grounds to divorce. he can still technecally do the divorce over something dumb but he will have to answer to Allah an the local community and will make himself look like a fool and lose all his credibility.
2. If a man divorces his wife, what rights does she have?
the husband has to take care of her for a period of 3 months at minimum. if there are children under 9 years of age they will live with you. whatever gifts given to you are yours. any money you made is yours. there are other rights as well i just dont remeber them all and i dont want to mis quote anything.

3. Are there grounds necessary for a woman to obtain a divorce from her husband?
yes she would need to appear infront of a judge (or an imam in the west since there are no islamic judges) and plea for her reasons why she wishes to do a khulah (divorce )

however there are cases of women requesting khulah because they dident like the way their husbands looked and their request was granted.

4. If she does, what rights does she have?
that same ones

5. What are the different names of divorce and what do they mean? I see talaq, khula and others (I think). It seems that talaq is when the man asks and khula is when the woman asks.

talaq means to divorce while khulah meant linguistically (somone correct me if im wrong) to break off, or seperate.
6. What happens if you divorce and the man doesn't want the material things you two built up together? Is it haram for the woman to keep them if he allows it? What if he changes his mind?

i dont know
7. In the case of multiple wives, what is the right of a wife who is being neglected? (For the sake of discussion, let's say there is a severe difference in treatment, not a minor one.)
she can get a khulah done, or get a family member involved to mediate, or an imam. she deserves her god given rights under any circumstances.

8. What if a woman wants her husband to marry again and he refuses?

then no nikah will be done. in islam you cant force a person to marry you this is mentioned in quran.

9. If wife No. 1 contributes financially to the home due to hardship (and not because she particularly wants to), what rights does the husband have to a second wife or to property in event of divorce?

a man can get a second wife wtill but i dont think its advisable although Allah works in misterious ways. every time somone gets married or has a child there is an increase in their rizq in order to accomodate that person. there was one very poor sahabi who asked the prophet pbuh how to get rich, so he told him to get married. so he did and was still poor so he went to complain. the prophet pbuh told him to get married again. this happened another 2 times untill he had four wives and then he started to see his living conditions improve. also just from what i see arround me this seems to be true (ofcourse it is its in hadith) when people get married new forms of rizq are following them.

as for property divorce im not sure.

10. Similarly, if wife No. 1 consistently 'does without' to ease financial hardship, what rights does the husband have to a second wife or to property in event of divorce?

same as above

Wallahi I'm not trying to instigate fitnah but these are topics that have been on my mind and I'm curious about them.

your not investigating fitnah this is very smart of you to do.

Regarding the last 3 questions:
8 - I'm specially thinking about when wife No. 1 is infertile and she wants to see her husband have children and perhaps have the opportunity to enjoy these children (if on a limited basis) herself. Other circumstances may apply.
9&10 are my situation, where I (slightly) outearn my husband and contribute equally to our finances because he could not support the two of us alone. In addition, much of our furnishings were mine before we married.

Again, I hope I will never need to know the details of divorce, but if I am to be left penniless after contributing financially for years, I want to know so I can attempt to provide some backup for myself should the need ever arise.

Jzkhr.

wa alikumu salam wa rahmahtullahi wa barakatahu.

[noobz]

Re: About Divorce

Then its gna be another divorce to notch under your belt.

Bro, as much as we'd like the world to be Islamic, the problem is that in majority of these cases, it ends up in divorce if its done against the wishes of the first wife.

then be it ... it jz opens the slot for another 4th wife :banbear:

[Juvegirl]

Re: About Divorce

Why would one even want a second wife when he cant provide properly for his first? especially if she's against it.

Why wasn't part of the question brother :)

We see it happen, regardless of how little it makes sense.

[Juvegirl]

Re: About Divorce

wa alikumu salam wa rahmahtullahi wa barakatahu.

Jzkhr.

[uncle umar]

Re: About Divorce

Jzkhr.

barrakallahu feeki

[.mirror.]

Re: About Divorce

As salaamualeikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

:wswrwb:

Inshallah I will never need to know about divorce in Islam. However, having read some of the posts in this section over the last month or two, I realize that I don't know really anything about it.

You should still know about it, not because you will be involved in it, but to increase your knowledge. So many Muslims are unaware of Islamic rulings on this matter that they go about doing it the wrong way. Some Muslims get a divorce from the non-Muslim civil court and that's it. Obviously, that's not enough because in the sight of Allah they are still married.

Secondly, there are rulings on what the wife can keep and how the husband should treat the wife and their responsibilities towards each other and the children in case of divorce. So, there's a lot to learn, esp. for marred folks. No one knows the future; some get divorced after a decade of marriage with grown kids.

1. Are there grounds necessary for a man to obtain a divorce from his wife?

A man can't really obtain a divorce from his wife, he can give a divorce.

What Umar said is correct, though. A divorce with no valid reason is hated by Allah.

Acceptable reason might be that she is immoral, has a bad character, engaged in illicit affairs, etc.

2. If a man divorces his wife, what rights does she have?

Umar covered most of it.

However, as for the age, child custody and other rulings, diff. maddhabs have diff. rulings on it. Probably not best to list them all here. You might want to take a look here:

Child Custody After Divorce

3. Are there grounds necessary for a woman to obtain a divorce from her husband?

From IslamQA:

• ...she dislikes her husband cannot give him his rights, or she fears that if she does not do that then she will be one of those who are ungrateful to their husbands...
  
• ...dislikes some characteristics of the husband, such as if he is strict and harsh, quick-tempered, gets angry a lot, criticizes for the least mistakes and rebukes for the slightest shortcoming...
  
• ...she dislikes his physical appearance, such as a defect or ugly appearance or some problem with his physical faculties...
  
• ...shortcoming in religious commitment takes the form of not praying, or being heedless about praying in congregation, or not fasting in Ramadan with no excuse, or doing haraam things such as zina, alcohol, listening to music and so on...
  
• ...he withholds her rights such as maintenance, clothing, and essential needs, when he is able to afford it...
  
• ...he does not give her her rights to regular intimacy because of a defect that means he cannot have intercourse (impotence), or he has no interest in her, or he is interested only in someone else, or he does not divide his time fairly (among co-wives)...

Examples of acceptable reasons for asking one’s husband for khula’

4. If she does, what rights does she have?

I'm pretty sure if she asks for a khula, she has to return the mahr.

5. What are the different names of divorce and what do they mean? I see talaq, khula and others (I think). It seems that talaq is when the man asks and khula is when the woman asks.

There's also Faskh (annulment of nikah).

6. What happens if you divorce and the man doesn't want the material things you two built up together? Is it haram for the woman to keep them if he allows it? What if he changes his mind?

If he allows it, that's basically saying he is giving the ownership to you. But, anyways, I'm not 100% sure on it. Better to ask a scholar.

7. In the case of multiple wives, what is the right of a wife who is being neglected? (For the sake of discussion, let's say there is a severe difference in treatment, not a minor one.)

Mostly same rights as in monogamous marriage. Of course, she can't ask the husband to be with her everyday or spend all the money on her alone, as he needs to divide the time equally and be just.

8. What if a woman wants her husband to marry again and he refuses?

What Umar said.

9. If wife No. 1 contributes financially to the home due to hardship (and not because she particularly wants to), what rights does the husband have to a second wife or to property in event of divorce?

Husband still has to provide for both wives. Even if the wives contribute, that does not free him from his obligations. However, a wife may willingly give up her rights. Fro example, she may write in her nikah contract that he doesn't have to spend on her, or he doesn't have to spend nights with her, etc.

10. Similarly, if wife No. 1 consistently 'does without' to ease financial hardship, what rights does the husband have to a second wife or to property in event of divorce?

That came to my mind, too, just yesterday.

Don't know. =/ Couldn't find anything on that.

Wallahi I'm not trying to instigate fitnah but these are topics that have been on my mind and I'm curious about them.

This isn't fitnah at all. Don't worry.

8 - I'm specially thinking about when wife No. 1 is infertile and she wants to see her husband have children and perhaps have the opportunity to enjoy these children (if on a limited basis) herself. Other circumstances may apply.

Persuade him to get married again or maybe, adopt.

Again, I hope I will never need to know the details of divorce, but if I am to be left penniless after contributing financially for years, I want to know so I can attempt to provide some backup for myself should the need ever arise.

Your husband shouldn't ever leave you like that. He is obligated to provide for at least few months after divorce. Plus, we rely on Allah alone.

Wallahu Alam.

[*~ Shrinking Violet ~*]

Re: About Divorce

I'm pretty sure if she asks for a khula, she has to return the mahr

Yeah she does...my sister was instructed to do so (by the Islamic Shari'a Council) despite her ex being the wronged person in the divorce.
However, an Ummah sister recently told me that the Islamic establishment sorting out her divorce told her that she didn't have to, cz her ex-husband had been at fault...

[calculatrice]

Re: About Divorce

Then its gna be another divorce to notch under your belt.

Bro, as much as we'd like the world to be Islamic, the problem is that in majority of these cases, it ends up in divorce if its done against the wishes of the first wife.

Thats quite the defeatist attitude. And if this is the cause of the divorce:

1. Did the Husband desire the divorce or the wife?
2. What does the Qur'an say? Who is wrong in the eyes of Allah (SWT)?

[inprogress]

Re: About Divorce

wa alaikum asalam wa rahmatullah sister,

If you are contributing financially what I would advice you is to have him be paying the housing, utilities, and food with his money if possible. Use your money for the other things that are not absolutely necessary but generally needed like clothing, things for the house, entertainment, etc. That way if anything happened and you needed to quit your job or decide to start working, you guys will still get by in a minimal way. Whatever you pay for out of your own money is yours. What he pays for out of his money, it could be either yours or his according to who he bought it for. In most cultures it is looked at as the woman's. Islamically things should have clear ownership as to get rid of any confusion or conflict. When I separated from my husband he gave me all the furniture and house things I wanted. Most of it I picked out and he paid for.

In case of divorce if the man divorces his wife he supports her through the iddah which is a waiting period of three menstrual cycles during which time the couple live together and he can take her back as a wife during that time. After that time if she is not taken back, he has no financial liability toward her if there are no children and she is free to remarry. If she is pregnant the iddah is until the baby is born regardless of time. If she is breastfeeding, she can ask payment for nursing the baby. If there are children he is financially responsible for them, and in some opinions/situations that includes the accommodation if the woman has non of her own.

If the woman asked for khula, some have the opinion she returns her mahr, there is another opinion that she gives him some kind of payment according to what he agrees with on a reasonable basis even if it different than the amount of mahr. The woman can have various valid reason for asking for khula, but she has to have a reason. The man has to agree to the khula. The iddah is also different, shorter, but I don't know about it.

I don't really know much about the other types of divorcing, some cases if the husband is severe in mistreatment, not fulfilling rights, not Islamic, etc the judge can order divorce even if the husband doesn't agree. Or render the marriage invalid.

[Vitriolic_Sage]

Re: About Divorce

9&10 are my situation, where I (slightly) outearn my husband and contribute equally to our finances because he could not support the two of us alone. In addition, much of our furnishings were mine before we married.



Jzkhr.

WSWRWB, sister.

I must admit, I'm a wee bit confused. You husband seems to have missed the part of the Quran that talks about salaat. But somehow he got the one single verse which says a man MAY (not "must") take multiple wives. And he's on a struggling income already?

Sister, I don't have anything nice to say, frankly it wouldn't even do any good. All I will say is think long and hard about what you want and what is important to you. At the end of the day, we'll all be held accountable to Allah, but you know what, everyone has to live their life before then. So please think about what you NEED, and not about what you want transiently.

I hope Allah swt guides you and eases your troubles. Ameen.

[.mirror.]

Re: About Divorce

↑I don't see how you relate her post to multiple wives? :scratch: