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  • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

    Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post
    It seems as though some did not read my post (I believe it was #175). The issue is very clear. If you Google, as the brother had said, you will find a lot of information about arrests within the polygamist communities. Here is the information about common law states again. Now, add this with polygamy and you can see how it could become a problem.


    STATES THAT RECOGNIZE COMMON LAW MARRIAGE:
    Only a few states recognize common law marriages:
    Alabama
    Colorado
    Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
    Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
    Iowa
    Kansas
    Montana
    New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
    Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
    Oklahoma (possibly only if created before 11/1/98. Oklahoma's laws and court decisions may be in conflict about whether common law marriages formed in that state after 11/1/98 will be recognized.)
    Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
    Rhode Island
    South Carolina
    Texas
    Utah
    Washington, D.C.

    IF YOU LIVE IN A STATE THAT DOES RECOGNIZE COMMON LAW MARRIAGE: If you live in one of the above states and you "hold yourself out to be married" (by telling the community you are married, calling each other husband and wife, using the same last name, filing joint income tax returns, etc.), you can have a common law marriage (for more information on the specific requirements of each state, see next page). Common law marriage makes you a legally married couple in every way, even though you never obtained a marriage license. If you choose to end your relationship, you must get a divorce, even though you never had a wedding. Legally, common law married couples must play by all the same rules as "regular" married couples. If you live in one of the common law states and don't want your relationship to become a common law marriage, you must be clear that it is your intention not to marry. The attorneys who wrote Living Together (additional information below) recommend an agreement in writing that both partners sign and date: "Jane Smith and John Doe agree as follows: That they've been and plan to continue living together as two free, independent beings and that neither has ever intended to enter into any form of marriage, common law or otherwise."

    IF YOU LIVE IN A STATE THAT DOES NOT RECOGNIZE COMMON LAW MARRIAGE, there is no way to form a common law marriage, no matter how long you live with your partner. There is one catch: if you spend time in a state that does recognize common law marriage, "hold yourself out as married," and then return or move to a state that doesn't recognize it, you are still married (since states all recognize marriages that occurred in other states). However, this is murky legal territory and we don't recommend experimenting with it!

    STATE-BY-STATE REQUIREMENTS TO FORM A COMMON LAW MARRIAGE:*
    Alabama: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) capacity; (2) an agreement to be husband and wife; and (3) consummation of the marital relationship.
    Colorado: A common-law marriage may be established by proving cohabitation and a reputation of being married.
    Iowa: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) intent and agreement to be married; (2) continuous cohabitation; and (3) public declarations that the parties are husband and wife.
    Kansas: For a man and woman to form a common-law marriage, they must: (1) have the mental capacity to marry; (2) agree to be married at the present time; and (3) represent to the public that they are married.
    Montana: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) capacity to consent to the marriage; (2) an agreement to be married; (3) cohabitation; and (4) a reputation of being married.
    Oklahoma: To establish a common-law marriage, a man and woman must (1) be competent; (2) agree to enter into a marriage relationship; and (3) cohabit.
    Pennsylvania: A common-law marriage was established if, before 1/1/2005, a man and woman exchanged words that indicated that they intended to be married at the present time and they also held themselves out to the community as married (introducing eachother as husband and wife, filing joint taxes, etc.).
    Rhode Island: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) serious intent to be married and (2) conduct that leads to a reasonable belief in the community that the man and woman are married.
    South Carolina: A common-law marriage is established if a man and woman intend for others to believe they are married.
    Texas: A man and woman who want to establish a common-law marriage must sign a form provided by the county clerk. In addition, they must (1) agree to be married, (2) cohabit, and (3) represent to others that they are married.
    Utah: For a common-law marriage, a man and woman must (1) be capable of giving consent and getting married; (2) cohabit; and (3) have a reputation of being husband and wife.
    Washington, D.C.: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) an express, present intent to D.C. be married and (2) cohabitation.
    Nice posting Sister! May Allah bless!

    Comment


    • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

      Wind up. Can tell from a mile away. You guys falling for jibrils wind up
      FEAR ALLAH (SWT) AS HE DESERVES TO BE FEARED!!!
      OH Allah help your slaves in As Sham
      Donate to syria.
      *Sisters please do not rep or PM me as my wife will kill me so rep her instead*

      Comment


      • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

        Originally posted by in_exile View Post
        Wind up. Can tell from a mile away. You guys falling for jibrils wind up
        you saying hes lying ? :s
        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

        The Prophet :saw: said:

        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

        muslim

        Narrated 'Abdullah:

        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

        Comment


        • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

          Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post
          It seems as though some did not read my post (I believe it was #175). The issue is very clear. If you Google, as the brother had said, you will find a lot of information about arrests within the polygamist communities. Here is the information about common law states again. Now, add this with polygamy and you can see how it could become a problem.


          STATES THAT RECOGNIZE COMMON LAW MARRIAGE:
          Only a few states recognize common law marriages:
          Alabama
          Colorado
          Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
          Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
          Iowa
          Kansas
          Montana
          New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
          Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
          Oklahoma (possibly only if created before 11/1/98. Oklahoma's laws and court decisions may be in conflict about whether common law marriages formed in that state after 11/1/98 will be recognized.)
          Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
          Rhode Island
          South Carolina
          Texas
          Utah
          Washington, D.C.

          IF YOU LIVE IN A STATE THAT DOES RECOGNIZE COMMON LAW MARRIAGE: If you live in one of the above states and you "hold yourself out to be married" (by telling the community you are married, calling each other husband and wife, using the same last name, filing joint income tax returns, etc.), you can have a common law marriage (for more information on the specific requirements of each state, see next page). Common law marriage makes you a legally married couple in every way, even though you never obtained a marriage license. If you choose to end your relationship, you must get a divorce, even though you never had a wedding. Legally, common law married couples must play by all the same rules as "regular" married couples. If you live in one of the common law states and don't want your relationship to become a common law marriage, you must be clear that it is your intention not to marry. The attorneys who wrote Living Together (additional information below) recommend an agreement in writing that both partners sign and date: "Jane Smith and John Doe agree as follows: That they've been and plan to continue living together as two free, independent beings and that neither has ever intended to enter into any form of marriage, common law or otherwise."

          IF YOU LIVE IN A STATE THAT DOES NOT RECOGNIZE COMMON LAW MARRIAGE, there is no way to form a common law marriage, no matter how long you live with your partner. There is one catch: if you spend time in a state that does recognize common law marriage, "hold yourself out as married," and then return or move to a state that doesn't recognize it, you are still married (since states all recognize marriages that occurred in other states). However, this is murky legal territory and we don't recommend experimenting with it!

          STATE-BY-STATE REQUIREMENTS TO FORM A COMMON LAW MARRIAGE:*
          Alabama: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) capacity; (2) an agreement to be husband and wife; and (3) consummation of the marital relationship.
          Colorado: A common-law marriage may be established by proving cohabitation and a reputation of being married.
          Iowa: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) intent and agreement to be married; (2) continuous cohabitation; and (3) public declarations that the parties are husband and wife.
          Kansas: For a man and woman to form a common-law marriage, they must: (1) have the mental capacity to marry; (2) agree to be married at the present time; and (3) represent to the public that they are married.
          Montana: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) capacity to consent to the marriage; (2) an agreement to be married; (3) cohabitation; and (4) a reputation of being married.
          Oklahoma: To establish a common-law marriage, a man and woman must (1) be competent; (2) agree to enter into a marriage relationship; and (3) cohabit.
          Pennsylvania: A common-law marriage was established if, before 1/1/2005, a man and woman exchanged words that indicated that they intended to be married at the present time and they also held themselves out to the community as married (introducing eachother as husband and wife, filing joint taxes, etc.).
          Rhode Island: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) serious intent to be married and (2) conduct that leads to a reasonable belief in the community that the man and woman are married.
          South Carolina: A common-law marriage is established if a man and woman intend for others to believe they are married.
          Texas: A man and woman who want to establish a common-law marriage must sign a form provided by the county clerk. In addition, they must (1) agree to be married, (2) cohabit, and (3) represent to others that they are married.
          Utah: For a common-law marriage, a man and woman must (1) be capable of giving consent and getting married; (2) cohabit; and (3) have a reputation of being husband and wife.
          Washington, D.C.: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) an express, present intent to D.C. be married and (2) cohabitation.
          Many people want to get a "common law marriage." Utah does not have common law marriage; instead, you may petition the court to recognize your relationship as a marriage even though you never had a marriage ceremony. If the court approves, the man and woman will be considered to have been married ever since the following conditions have been met. The parties should be prepared to present evidence that the marriage arises out of an agreement between a man and a woman who:

          are of legal age and capable of giving consent;
          are legally capable of entering a solemnized marriage; (For example, there are no reasons, such as a close family relationship, preventing the parties from legally marrying.)
          have lived together;
          treat each other as though they are married; and
          present themselves to the public so that other people believe they are married.

          The petition to have a relationship recognized as a marriage must be filed during the relationship or within one year after the relationship ends (one or both partners have died or the partners have separated). Either partner may file the petition or both partners may file the petition together. A third party, such as next of kin, may file the petition


          it still has to go through the court to be recognised.

          http://www.utcourts.gov/howto/marriage/commonlaw/
          "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

          The Prophet :saw: said:

          "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

          muslim

          Narrated 'Abdullah:

          The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


          "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

          By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

          [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

          Comment


          • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

            Originally posted by in_exile View Post
            Wind up. Can tell from a mile away. You guys falling for jibrils wind up
            Astaghfirullah, lying is a sin, why would you accuse me of that? You should make istighfaar and not log on for another month or so.
            There is rest only in the aakhira.
            Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

            - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

            If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
            and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
            then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

            - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

            I saw a dog without any clothes on .
            That's right, a nude dog.
            The Deepweb is disgusting.
            - Unknown -


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            Comment


            • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

              Originally posted by in_exile View Post
              Wind up. Can tell from a mile away. You guys falling for jibrils wind up
              If that's true, then it'll lie on his own conscience; WE however, should refrain from making such baseless accusations.
              Last edited by *~ Shrinking Violet ~*; 24-11-11, 02:47 PM.
              Allah's Messenger :saw: said: "Allah the Exalted said: I live in the thought of My servant and I am with him as he remembers Me. When he draws near Me by the span of his hand, I draw near him by the length of a cubit, and when he draws near Me by the length of a cubit, I draw near him by the length of a fathom, and when he draws near Me walking I draw close to him running." (Al-Bukhari)

              Comment


              • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

                Originally posted by in_exile View Post
                Wind up. Can tell from a mile away. You guys falling for jibrils wind up
                Last edited by *~ Shrinking Violet ~*; 24-11-11, 02:48 PM.
                Allah's Messenger :saw: said: "Allah the Exalted said: I live in the thought of My servant and I am with him as he remembers Me. When he draws near Me by the span of his hand, I draw near him by the length of a cubit, and when he draws near Me by the length of a cubit, I draw near him by the length of a fathom, and when he draws near Me walking I draw close to him running." (Al-Bukhari)

                Comment


                • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

                  Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
                  Many people want to get a "common law marriage." Utah does not have common law marriage; instead, you may petition the court to recognize your relationship as a marriage even though you never had a marriage ceremony. If the court approves, the man and woman will be considered to have been married ever since the following conditions have been met. The parties should be prepared to present evidence that the marriage arises out of an agreement between a man and a woman who:

                  are of legal age and capable of giving consent;
                  are legally capable of entering a solemnized marriage; (For example, there are no reasons, such as a close family relationship, preventing the parties from legally marrying.)
                  have lived together;
                  treat each other as though they are married; and
                  present themselves to the public so that other people believe they are married.

                  The petition to have a relationship recognized as a marriage must be filed during the relationship or within one year after the relationship ends (one or both partners have died or the partners have separated). Either partner may file the petition or both partners may file the petition together. A third party, such as next of kin, may file the petition


                  it still has to go through the court to be recognised.

                  http://www.utcourts.gov/howto/marriage/commonlaw/
                  Utah is a common law state, which means that a couple can petition for a common law marriage if that benefits the couple. Common law marriage is not automatically forced upon people who meet the conditions of a common law marriage. However, we are talking about people living in a polygamous relationship and presenting themselves as husband and wife. The state can also use common law against such people. So, the law can work for or against a couple. There have been cases of men charged with bigamy in Utah citing common law marriage (these are people who did not have a marriage with a license but were later deemed married under common law in order to prosecute for bigamy). I'm not sure why we are still discussing this, as it seems so clear.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

                    Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post
                    even then, isnt it a personal issue for him not to tell his wife?

                    does islam say whether we have to tell our first wife, that we got married again?

                    Comment


                    • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

                      he should not have married again simple

                      Comment


                      • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

                        why are women complaning for
                        wahbieism ur a quranist any way so shut up

                        the saying
                        The Prophet said, "Isn't the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?" The women said, "Yes." He said, "This is because OF THE DEFICIENTCY OF A WOMAN’S MIND." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 48, Number 826)

                        Comment


                        • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

                          Originally posted by -Jibril- View Post
                          She was very quiet and then erupted, punches, scratches, kicks, throwing stuff.

                          And yes, she kicked him where it hurts.

                          I she needs to let it out and they'll be fine, she isnt gna leave him over something like this, but there'll be hell to pay over the next few months.
                          Thats horrible, how can she treat her husband that way!

                          She's not allowed to hit him! I know she was really angry but still, he got married.

                          Hitting your husband is a very big crime in Islam, he should of called the police on her.

                          I remember going to a lecture some time ago and the teacher was telling us that if a person hits/strikes there father there is capital punishment for that person.

                          For a woman her husband has an even higher respect.

                          How could he take that? yes i know that he could have handled the situation better from the start but islamically it is haram for her to abuse him.

                          2 wrongs dont make a right.
                          Last edited by Muslimah*; 24-11-11, 10:34 PM.
                          Muslimah Forever InshaAllah

                          Comment


                          • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

                            Next time she can just write in the marriage contract that she doesn't want her husband to get another wife
                            And I'm sorry but polygamy isn't to marry young pretty virgins, why don't men nowadays marry old women too like Prophet Mohammed did or women who already have kids? Each of his marriage had different reasons and meanings..And the verse about polygamy.The polygamy was understandable as a "solution" for the orphans and the widows after an economic and social disaster.. But maybe i'm wrong Allah O3lem
                            This is a honest question, no trying to offence anyone
                            The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing)” (3:185)

                            Avoid excessive laughter and useless arguments as they harden the heart and lead to heedlessness.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

                              lol a lot of sisters here throwing their toys around (so to speak) ...

                              All I will say is here in England from what I know, 'secret marriages' are on the rise. More and more brothers are getting their first and 2nd wife like this. The sisters seem okay with it whilst others do not know he already has a wife and kid!! ;)

                              Not something I'd do or recommend but at the same time it's not haraam like some people make out.
                              Last edited by MWarrior; 25-11-11, 12:11 AM.

                              Comment


                              • Re: Secret 2nd wives and double lives

                                Originally posted by MWarrior View Post
                                lol a lot of sisters here throwing their toys around (so to speak) ...

                                All I will say is here in England from what I know, 'secret marriages' are on the rise. More and more brothers are getting their first and 2nd wife like this. The sisters seem okay with it whilst others do not know he already has a wife and kid!! ;)

                                Not something I'd do or recommend but at the same time it's not haraam like some people make out.
                                And yet it is contrary to the teachings of Rasulullah :saw:, is it not?
                                Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
                                O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
                                We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

                                Comment

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