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Would you marry some one abroad?

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  • #31
    Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

    Thing is sis, I keep changing places often. After I am done with MSc, I will most likely not be here and probably move somewhere else. My target is to work and live abroad thought it all depends on what Allah wills. So its quite difficult to say.
    Last edited by On.My.Own; 08-06-16, 01:05 AM.

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    • #32
      Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

      :salams:

      Best to find out where you will stay after marriage and then decide because if you are searching in the UK I know girls like myself would prefer someone that is settled and has his own accommodation.

      As for not knowing what kind of girl to marry, there's a variety. Doesn't matter where they are from. Some girls in the UK are just as traditional as some girls back home.

      They can talk about elicha maach and spot the difference between mirka and raw maach in a dish (fish). Girls can be a great home maker in the UK too. It all depends on the individual and what her personality is like.

      I don't think putting the girls abroad and back home into different boxes applies anymore because both can have what you are looking for.
      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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      • #33
        Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
        :salams:

        Best to find out where you will stay after marriage and then decide because if you are searching in the UK I know girls like myself would prefer someone that is settled and has his own accommodation.

        As for not knowing what kind of girl to marry, there's a variety. Doesn't matter where they are from. Some girls in the UK are just as traditional as some girls back home.

        They can talk about elicha maach and spot the difference between mirka and raw maach in a dish (fish). Girls can be a great home maker in the UK too. It all depends on the individual and what her personality is like.

        I don't think putting the girls abroad and back home into different boxes applies anymore because both can have what you are looking for.
        Walaikum Salam sis.

        Thank you for the input. As for settling down, as I have earlier mentioned, I would prefer being in Europe as its highly likely I wont go back to the Middle East and my parents dont really want me to be coming back to Bangladesh permanently. But where in Europe depends on where I get a job offer. I am looking for one atm.

        Really? I dont know much about girls in UK as I dont live nor have I studied there. All I know is that London is the capital of Sylhet. ;) But then again, dont you think the foreign-born NRBs have a very different mentality from girls back home? The surroundings always have a significant impact on a person. Problem is that I am kinda a hybrid, half of my life I lived home and half abroad. Makes it even more confusing.
        Last edited by On.My.Own; 08-06-16, 08:32 AM.

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        • #34
          Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

          If you take the country out of picture & ask the very same question you did, you will end up with same problem most people have when choosing spouse. We have to ask ourself what type of spouse do we want? or more importantly what type of married life do I want? With desi, we instantly think of this question in terms of aboard vs. local. But as sister Ya'sin said, putting people in box doesn't apply anymore. If you traveled enough & seen enough Bangladeshi communities in different country your view of people will start normalizing. You will notice at the end of the day, everyone is more or less same.

          You will find super conservative girls in EU and in Bangladesh just as you noticed in Middle east. There are family who strictly observe segregation. But you have to look for that type of community to find that type of girl. Even in this community you will find differences between individuals. some girls are religious, observe all Islamic rules/right & highly ambitious/career minded. You will also find girls who never stepped foot outside of the house & happy tending to family.

          You will find party going, indulging in sin in EU as much as you will find Bangaldesh and even in some of the Middle eastern community you are familiar with.

          At the end of the day, the only way to figure out is to keep your eyes open, meet few prospect & decide on individual instead of on country. TBH it sounds like you prefer someone of Bangladeshi origin who grew up in Middle East, as that's where you spent most of your time in & you will have most in common with them. Either way, explore & learn about yourself.

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          • #35
            Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

            I don't think you will have trouble marrying from back home as you have been born there and can relate to the customs/traditions. You seem to be lingering more towards back home you can do that.

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            • #36
              Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

              :wswrwb:

              Have you considered a non-Bangladeshi sister?

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              • #37
                Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

                Originally posted by Kya View Post
                If you take the country out of picture & ask the very same question you did, you will end up with same problem most people have when choosing spouse. We have to ask ourself what type of spouse do we want? or more importantly what type of married life do I want? With desi, we instantly think of this question in terms of aboard vs. local. But as sister Ya'sin said, putting people in box doesn't apply anymore. If you traveled enough & seen enough Bangladeshi communities in different country your view of people will start normalizing. You will notice at the end of the day, everyone is more or less same.

                You will find super conservative girls in EU and in Bangladesh just as you noticed in Middle east. There are family who strictly observe segregation. But you have to look for that type of community to find that type of girl. Even in this community you will find differences between individuals. some girls are religious, observe all Islamic rules/right & highly ambitious/career minded. You will also find girls who never stepped foot outside of the house & happy tending to family.

                You will find party going, indulging in sin in EU as much as you will find Bangaldesh and even in some of the Middle eastern community you are familiar with.

                At the end of the day, the only way to figure out is to keep your eyes open, meet few prospect & decide on individual instead of on country. TBH it sounds like you prefer someone of Bangladeshi origin who grew up in Middle East, as that's where you spent most of your time in & you will have most in common with them. Either way, explore & learn about yourself.
                Do you really believe it's as much as in equal? I think you find dodgy everywhere but I'm not so sure those nations have reached the level of the west.

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                • #38
                  Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

                  Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                  Do you really believe it's as much as in equal? I think you find dodgy everywhere but I'm not so sure those nations have reached the level of the west.
                  :salams

                  Yes. It's just more hidden in those countries then in the West, but it's there.

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                  • #39
                    Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

                    Originally posted by Winter View Post
                    :salams

                    Yes. It's just more hidden in those countries then in the West, but it's there.
                    :wswrwb:

                    If that's true that's a lot of dodgy to be hiding.

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                    • #40
                      Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

                      Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                      :wswrwb:

                      If that's true that's a lot of dodgy to be hiding.
                      Doable. Some have it hidden here too.

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                      • #41
                        Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

                        Originally posted by Kya View Post
                        If you take the country out of picture & ask the very same question you did, you will end up with same problem most people have when choosing spouse. We have to ask ourself what type of spouse do we want? or more importantly what type of married life do I want? With desi, we instantly think of this question in terms of aboard vs. local. But as sister Ya'sin said, putting people in box doesn't apply anymore. If you traveled enough & seen enough Bangladeshi communities in different country your view of people will start normalizing. You will notice at the end of the day, everyone is more or less same.

                        You will find super conservative girls in EU and in Bangladesh just as you noticed in Middle east. There are family who strictly observe segregation. But you have to look for that type of community to find that type of girl. Even in this community you will find differences between individuals. some girls are religious, observe all Islamic rules/right & highly ambitious/career minded. You will also find girls who never stepped foot outside of the house & happy tending to family.

                        You will find party going, indulging in sin in EU as much as you will find Bangaldesh and even in some of the Middle eastern community you are familiar with.

                        At the end of the day, the only way to figure out is to keep your eyes open, meet few prospect & decide on individual instead of on country. TBH it sounds like you prefer someone of Bangladeshi origin who grew up in Middle East, as that's where you spent most of your time in & you will have most in common with them. Either way, explore & learn about yourself.
                        Appreciate your input sis. Yes, I would prefer someone of the Bangladeshi origin but the region is the question. I mean I am not generalizing all women back home and I know many who are good. But thing is, I only visit Bangladesh for summers for instance and instead of meeting women, I usually hangout with friends and family. Hence I do not have much idea about recent developments and how things are but from what I see and hear from my female friends, many agree its tough to trust girls back home.

                        Middle East is a good option but again, I might not be going back there. Hence, it could be possible that they might not wish to relocate to Europe due to the stark difference in lifestyle, culture and practices. Above that, if you are a Bangladeshi, you could also relate to how people tend to marry within their village/state (for instance, Chittagong-ians prefers Chittagong-ians).

                        On the other hand, my khala who is settled in Germany, advised to marry back home as she has seen loads of cases how NRBs tend to not stick to their marriages. She has given me examples which makes me wonder how bad things are. Given we Bangladeshis have a knack to follow family preferences, it just makes me further confused as to what should I do.

                        May Allah make it easy.

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                        • #42
                          Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

                          Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                          :wswrwb:

                          Have you considered a non-Bangladeshi sister?
                          Nah bro, Bangladeshis preferred. I was open but its mainly my family that wishes I settle down with a Bangladeshi. Its not a pressure from their side but I can see where they are coming from. So ya...

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                          • #43
                            Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

                            Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                            :wswrwb:

                            If that's true that's a lot of dodgy to be hiding.
                            Yes it happens bro. Tough but people can pull it off. I have heard personally heard of cases.

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                            • #44
                              Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

                              Originally posted by Intuition View Post
                              I don't think you will have trouble marrying from back home as you have been born there and can relate to the customs/traditions. You seem to be lingering more towards back home you can do that.
                              If by back home you mean Bangladeshi, then yes. That's my preference too. But we are everywhere and that's the basic source of my confusion!

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                              • #45
                                Re: Opinions - marry abroad or home?

                                Originally posted by On.My.Own View Post
                                Nah bro, Bangladeshis preferred. I was open but its mainly my family that wishes I settle down with a Bangladeshi. Its not a pressure from their side but I can see where they are coming from. So ya...
                                Nothing wrong with having a preference like this. I was just thinking if you were having issues identifying someone suitable that you always had the option of opening up your market.

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