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Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

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  • Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

    Salam dear brothers and sisters,

    I am looking for some advice with the following issue:

    I have met someone whom I wish to (islamically and lawfully) marry. We both agreed at an early stage to get to know eachother with the purpose of marriage, and eventhough we are very emotionally attached we have refrained ourselves from having a haraam relationship.

    I have advised my family about her, however they do not wish to participate. Their objections are cultural, they wish for me to marry someone within the family back in Pakistan. I have pushed hard, and tried everything I can to convince them, even getting friends and an Imam involved. None of this has led to anything other than me being disowned by the family.

    I have advised the girl's family about the situation, they have also tried to talk to my family and has resulted in none. My inlaws-to-be have cleary stated that I need a respectable elder, Wali to represent me in order to do a proposal and then be present at the nikah and there is no room for compromise.

    I have no other familymembers in the UK, my immediate family (parents and uncle) live abroad (Europe).
    My parents have finally given consent to me to do whatever I wish and have my nikah on the condition that they do not wish to be part of it and do not wish to have any form of contact with me or my inlaws.

    However I still need a respectable elder, someone who could help me do things the right way: represent me and send a proposal (visit the girl's family) and be my Wali at the nikah.

    I know Islamically I may not need this, but this is a demand from my inlaws and things would not go ahead without it. I would hope there might be a brother out there who can relate to the above, and might be able to help.

    I really want to complete HALF my Deen...
    W'salam

  • #2
    Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

    Salam

    You're right, Islamically, you do not need a wali. However, is there a reliable, trustworthy shaykh/imam you can ask to represent you? That might be your only option.
    -

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    • #3
      Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

      I'll be your wali, but like Biggie says "cash rules everything around me".

      Pay me.
      There is rest only in the aakhira.
      Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

      - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

      If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
      and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
      then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

      - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

      I saw a dog without any clothes on .
      That's right, a nude dog.
      The Deepweb is disgusting.
      - Unknown -


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      • #4
        Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

        a male doesnt need a wali

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        • #5
          Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

          another example of culture ruining lives. I'm sorry, the only thing I can think of is having your imam represent you.
          Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
          Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

          You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

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          • #6
            Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

            Men don't need a wali right? That means they can make and accept proposals on their own?

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            • #7
              Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

              as others have said...brothers don't need a wali

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              • #8
                Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

                Originally posted by Inshalah View Post
                My inlaws-to-be have cleary stated that I need a respectable elder, Wali to represent me in order to do a proposal and then be present at the nikah and there is no room for compromise.

                However I still need a respectable elder, someone who could help me do things the right way: represent me and send a proposal (visit the girl's family) and be my Wali at the nikah.
                I respect this woman's family for requiring that at least someone in your family is involved. Who wants to marry their daughter into a family where not even one person is present to show support? I hope that you find the help you need within your family.

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                • #9
                  Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

                  Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post
                  I respect this woman's family for requiring that at least someone in your family is involved. Who wants to marry their daughter into a family where not even one person is present to show support? I hope that you find the help you need within your family.
                  this is dum and backward, only matters about the person she is marrying

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                  • #10
                    Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

                    Originally posted by MuslimSoljah View Post
                    this is dum and backward, only matters about the person she is marrying
                    Yep, parents and family don't matter. Who needs them anyway, right?

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                    • #11
                      Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

                      Thank you for your response, yes I am aware islamically I do not require a wali...
                      It's more the cultural aspect, even in this day and age one can't simply go to a family and ask for a proposal without any elder to back you up... If it was down to me, I have no issues to do things on my own but unfortunately it's not accepted by the girl's family...

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                      • #12
                        Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

                        Have you performed istikhara?

                        I can understand why a girl's family would want that. They don't want to give their daughter to somewhere where she's not welcomed happily.
                        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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                        • #13
                          Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

                          Thanks Brothers and sisters...

                          Yes I have performed istikhara, hence my determination... The local imam confirmed I do not need a wali, any way decided to do it on my own, going to her parents house in Dec taking an imam with me and having my friends parked around the corner with the engine running in case I get shot...

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                          • #14
                            Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

                            Originally posted by Inshalah View Post
                            Thanks Brothers and sisters...

                            Yes I have performed istikhara, hence my determination... The local imam confirmed I do not need a wali, any way decided to do it on my own, going to her parents house in Dec taking an imam with me and having my friends parked around the corner with the engine running in case I get shot...
                            Last part made me laugh haha. Dont worry bro, everything will go alright, Insha'Allah.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Help needed with Nikah... Wali required

                              Salam Brothers and Sisters...

                              It's been 6 months since I last started this topic, and I wanted to share some news with you.
                              I prayed to Allah and asked for forgiveness for my sins and seeked guidance, and something totally unexpected happened: My family agreed to meet the girls family and both families got on like a house on fire. I'm getting married next week inshallah... Just wanted to thank you brothers and sisters for your kind response and advice at the time of need.

                              ****if you love someone for the sake of Allah, Allah will ease your path****

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