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You don't only marry the man you 'marry the family'

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  • #61
    Re: You don't only marry the man you 'marry the family'

    Originally posted by shay5 View Post
    I said this in another thread (about researching the family and culture) but it got deleted as 'unhelpful'. Really depends how much contact and influence the guy's family had on him...There are many men (before and after marriage) who won't move one foot forward without their mother's permission.
    Mama knows best.

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    • #62
      Re: You don't only marry the man you 'marry the family'

      it applies in my culture

      if I have fish head for dinner, they're gonna too

      I can always shove the fish down my husband's throat in front of his parents, that'll show them who's boss

      lmso
      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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      • #63
        Re: You don't only marry the man you 'marry the family'

        Originally posted by *sister* View Post
        Sisters views on this would be helpful. Was having a convo recently with my sisters when one of my sisters regarding marriage stated that you don't only marry the man you 'marry the family' which to a certain extent I agree with. However my sis was adamant that even if you find that the brother is what your looking for but don't really say 'like' the mother in law or the family it should be a no. However i don't agree with her on this...

        Any sisters already married your views?
        I don't agree with that either, although it's true that you're "marrying into the family". I guess if you have to live with your in-laws then it's a different story.

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        • #64
          Re: You don't only marry the man you 'marry the family'

          Originally posted by Muslim- View Post
          I think it depends on how strong his personality is, and his ability to make sure she receives no injustice etc. If its simply "disliking" and the husband has a strong personality and cares for his wife, then I think its somewhat natural, as long as his mother is of good character (good enough for children to be around her).

          Also (maybe off-topic), children will be raised around relatives from both sides, mix with them, and pick up things from both sides as well, so that should be taken into consideration too. A great girl was mentioned to me once but I didn't propose because her father is a cheap guy with a dirty mouth and no values I can think of. Id never want to have children with that guy as their grandfather.
          That's really unfair to the girl. :/

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          • #65
            Re: You don't only marry the man you 'marry the family'

            While it is an old thread it is ongoing matter in every marriage...

            I will have to be comfortable with both the guy and his family... after all, even if i live alone i will be mixing with them all the time... my children will grow up with them... they have to be happy to have me, and i have to be happy to have them... i want comfortable living... i dont want to be avoiding the mother in law because she's horrible... neither do i want my children to feel unfavoured compared to other kids because they dont like their mum (me)...

            Simply both need to be happy, it is mutual agreement...
            *
            *
            * typing from my phone, excuse the mess

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