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PLEASE Help me out

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  • anistop
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    Originally posted by ss2011 View Post
    But what about the girl i am interested in?,,she's still waiting and hoping that mite some extraordinary thing happen by Allah and we mite live together..If i left this girl it would be a burden on me for whole of my life.
    You should have thought about it before you got engaged with another girl. If your parents refused to marry you to her, you could at least wait longer. That shows your love for the first girl was not so strong, and now you are repenting because you feel you got a bad deal. But, if you try to understand the wisdom of Allah, you will see that whatever happens has will of Allah and there is goodness in it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Attiyah Abdul Hamid
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    Originally posted by ss2011 View Post
    hmm..Pray for me
    May Allaah make it easy for you... and may He bless you with a pious wife :insha:


    Ameen :love:


    Remember Allaah is the best of planners, and what he has destined for us is always the best whether we see it at the time or not

    Leave a comment:


  • elza3d
    replied
    Why didn't you think of this already?

    Originally posted by ss2011 View Post
    i got engaged a year back,, before engagement i was interested in some one and told my family about my interest. Unfortunately my choice was rejected and got engaged with one of my parent's close family friends. My fiance is undoubtedly pious and stick to som-o-salah i respect her bt i couldnt build a level of understanding with her, due to some reasons i feel that we cant live a happy living,,it would be a compromising life, n m against of spending a whole life on compromises. I am intended towards the girl i was interested in, as i have better level of understanding and luv. Let me inform one more thing that the istakhara for both girls is +ive ..Please guide me in this regard what should i do.
    Well to be honest that's not true. You compromised here, so your relationship is built on compromise. You can either break the engagement, or just marry this person. Whatever you do you can't go blaming anyone else, the situation, the weather, no, it's just all on you. You're going to make the bed you'll be lieing in.

    Leave a comment:


  • ss2011
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    hmm..Pray for me

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  • Attiyah Abdul Hamid
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    Originally posted by ss2011 View Post
    this is what i am thinking about...what should i say,,meanz on what grounds i take her in confidence,,as she'll try to not let me go.
    just try and see how it goes... you cant tag two girls along you need to let one go... if you dont even know the sister your fam chose then you cant really say you dont have that understanding of her when youve never spoke to her...

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  • ss2011
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    this is what i am thinking about...what should i say,,meanz on what grounds i take her in confidence,,as she'll try to not let me go.

    Leave a comment:


  • Attiyah Abdul Hamid
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    Originally posted by ss2011 View Post
    I have already told my parents that i'm not feeling comfrtable wid the one u have chosen for me..but they are reluctant to take a step as i hv already mentioned above that the girl is from one of their close family friend..I dnt even hv a single word wid my fiance b4 engagement.
    so how can you get to know her?? speak to her wali.. and request a meeting... fully halaal of course you might think differently

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  • ss2011
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    I have already told my parents that i'm not feeling comfrtable wid the one u have chosen for me..but they are reluctant to take a step as i hv already mentioned above that the girl is from one of their close family friend..I dnt even hv a single word wid my fiance b4 engagement.

    Leave a comment:


  • Russo
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    Originally posted by ss2011 View Post
    But what about the girl i am interested in?,,she's still waiting and hoping that mite some extraordinary thing happen by Allah and we mite live together..If i left this girl it would be a burden on me for whole of my life.
    Salaam Bro

    Sorry to sound harsh but first of all, if you behaved like a REAL muslim man you would be more decisive as to the original girl that you wanted to marry. Why get engaged to someone you didnt even want to marry.

    Secondly, you are giving false hope to the first girl.

    Be a real muslim man and tell your parents that you will be happy with the other girl. Whats the point of marrying someone you dont want to and it leads to an unhappy marriage or even divorce.

    If she is pious, then there is no reason for your parents to reject her. You have rights too about the choice of marriage partner.

    Leave a comment:


  • *hijab*
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    :salams

    keep doing istikhara and nicely explain to your parents who you want to marry.
    Plus its not very nice to get married to someone when your heart is inclined towards another?

    Leave a comment:


  • Attiyah Abdul Hamid
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    Originally posted by ss2011 View Post
    what if u dnt feel cmfrtble wid one u engaged,,as a matter of fact is its a tym to take decision after marriage it would be more dangerous as its nt encouraged in islam
    Just remember the person you will be marrying is going to be with you for life :insha:
    So you have to be happy with them... Dont marry someone for the sake of your parents... Have some meetings with her wali present too, and just get to know eachother a little... and you may see her in a different way :insha:

    Dont just rule someone out because you could end up disliking someone who Allaah has placed much good within :masha:

    Leave a comment:


  • ss2011
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    what if u dnt feel cmfrtble wid one u engaged,,as a matter of fact is its a tym to take decision after marriage it would be more dangerous as its nt encouraged in islam

    Leave a comment:


  • Attiyah Abdul Hamid
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    jus read the bit about both girls having positive results from istikhara... i hae no idea what to say now

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  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    There's no concept of engagement in Islam. However, it's not totally against Islam. Scholars have allowed it as a promise from both side for the marriage. It doesn't mean that they can freely talk and interact. All the rules of hijab still applies.

    Also, like the sister said above, time from engagement to nikah should be kept reasonably short.

    I think you should seriously consider the one who you think you'll live more happily with, since they are both pious. Try to convince your parents :insha:
    Last edited by .mirror.; 20-07-11, 08:05 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Attiyah Abdul Hamid
    replied
    Re: PLEASE Help me out

    Originally posted by msmoorad View Post
    salaams to all
    bro, what kind of pious girl is she if she allows strange males to "befriend" her and get to 'know her better"?
    you cant be pious without salaah but performing salaah and mixing with strange males also does not make a girl pious.

    seems to me that your current wife is better- of course, i dont know anything bout her past- just what you've told us.

    also- think of what kind of children you want- who would be a better role model to them?

    insha allah everything will work out fine.
    wish u all the best despite sounding critical in my post.

    and Allah ta'ala knows best
    jazakallah

    :up: thats well said :masha:

    something to think about :)

    Leave a comment:

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