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What should i do (deep)

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  • What should i do (deep)

    I have this issue...Like i have said before i have 1muslim parent 1christian parent
    and Alhamdulia the Christian side seems a tiny bit over the fact I'm not christian for now that is.
    But i feel like the more i live amongst them i will become more of a bad Muslim.. Some people are so MashAllah on the deen they can hit the masjid up.. Can get help bettering themselves in the judgments..I seriously feel like family/family friends are gossiping about me...I dnt go to family/friend parties anymore I dnt wanna see these people..I even wonder wut they are saying about me back home if they know lol

    And Both my Muslim/Christian parents are no help.. they are divorced and dnt even like each other..nor do i wish to involve them..I feel they should just shhh and stay in the background... rather then get me upset start a fight and give me a headache plus get me even more confused..I seriously don't want to hear there advise or even a word.. Because
    this is there fault..why did they just not marry people they had something in common
    with!!! Then have me an try and feed me one religion while the other whispers something else to me.. oh and let's not talk about trashing of each others faith infront me of me..To the point of me as a child once asking Allah and Jesus something to see what one is real SMH. And then now as a young Adult trying to play a psychological game of your not my child dnt speak to me..this that... I could write a book but i shall stop.. srry about
    punctuation I'm on mobile phone
    but my question is most people are telling omg sis miskeena just get married..what do you guys think bad idea or not.I'm young i guess but i dont know anymore wallahi no joke i don't know.. I feel like I'm in some weird story i don't know i give up now... And it
    makes me so angry to see Muslim with TWO Muslim parents not using the blessing they have i wish i had that wallah i do..Muslimahs saying I dnt wanna wear hijab atleast u can.. so many things u can do i can't and you waste it away..can you believe i had one Muslim parent yet Wallah i taught myself some Quran I taught myself salah myself
    myself while I had a muslim parent...srry if I sound bitter but this makes me angry and not happy...wallah i feel like i don't know anymore.. I'm young i don't know this world like my elders know it Wallah i love my family and all but im not happy with the choices
    they made.. But i can't change that it is what it is u know.. I just have to trust in Allah and maybe my Ummah Family can advise me.. I dont like burdening my family nor friends so you guys are my only people i can talk other people will just judge me or my family and look at me like im some disease trust me i know from experience
    And these ppl always seem to think I'm happy aww always smiling and happy more like it's better to laugh then dwell on your issues..Alhamdulia i try most of the time to look on the bright side

    Who ever took the time to read thanks..srry if I sound whiny
    Last edited by CurlzsRUs; 20-07-11, 04:55 AM.

  • #2
    Re: What should i do (deep)


    Sister, please don't be so harsh with your parents. One of them is not even a Muslim, so it's hard to expect much from them. And, like you said, even in Muslim families, parents don't really instill much Islamic values in their children (there are exceptions, of course).

    You should be happy, though, overall. Look at the present, Alhamdulilah, you have been guided to Islam. You're a Muslim now. Isn't that the greatest blessing of all?

    I think you're doing the right thing b not going to parties and gathering where they gossip. There's really no benefit in that. :insha: Don't even worry or think about what they are saying behind your back. It shouldn't even be any of your concerns. Focus on yourself and focus on getting yourself closer to Allah. Remeber, even if you don't have anyone, you'll always have Allah.

    A brother posted this today and I think you can realte to it:

    Many of the pious predecessors would spend long periods of time in seclusion.

    When one of them was asked:
    He replied:
    [Aboo Nu'aym, 8/217]

    Another said:

    Yet another said:
    [Ibn Abee Ad-Dunyaa, Al-'Uzlah #49]
    So he replied:

    It was once asked of him:
    He replied:
    [Extracted from "The Journey Of The Strangers", p. 96]
    However, I also recommend that you try your best to make friends with some good sisters. I think you said that you live in area where there are no Muslims, though, right?

    I'm not sure how old you are, but if you're old enough, then getting married to a pious Muslim man would be a great option. :insha: then you both can learn and practice the den together and grow closer to Allah without outside (or inside) interference.

    Lastly, make lots of Dua'a, esp. in the depths of night, and ask for patience and guidance from Allah. Improve yourself as much as you can. Maybe, through you, your parents can be guided to this deen. :insha:

    May Allah take care of your affairs.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎


    • #3
      Re: What should i do (deep)

      There is a difference between solitude and loneliness.

      Although you are physically alone in both, your spiritual state is very different.

      إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

      إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

      "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

      "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

      Khanqah Habibiyah


      • #4
        Re: What should i do (deep)

        Yeah i know i sound harsh..but i am frustrated with them and they are the people i care for deeply
        And yes Alhamdulia I'm guided to Islam that's one positive plus in my life... Because with out that i would have gone crazy that's one thing that keeps me content right now... JazakAllah khier for your reminder
        but again it is easier said then done

        and marriage legally wise I'm old enough... but then again i wonder what Muslim would marry me...when they can marry someone who is on the deen an no family issues an baggage Allahu'Alim

        And dua? like wake up in the middle of the night? And make dua? inshallah


        • #5
          Re: What should i do (deep)

          :insha: Have patience regarding your parents. If there's anyone who deserves your kindness, then they are your parents.

          And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. [31:14-15]

          Also, please don't ever think that you're not worthy of a good pious husband. Matter of fact, you are the one who should set a criteria of a husband that you want and then look for someone with those qualities. There are so many Muslim men out there who would not make a good husband, so don't just give in to anyone just because they are Muslim.

          For now, you should do your best to improve yourself in deen as much as you can :insha: If you need any help, then all of us are here for you.

          Yeah, wake up and pray 2 rakats tahajjud nafl salaah. And, then make abundant Dua'a. It's one of the best times to make Dua'a.
          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎


          • #6
            Re: What should i do (deep)

            Yea mirror your correct..No matter what they are my parents they deserve my respect.. But i still think they should butt out of my life when it comes to my faith

            Walla all muslims who strive to better themselves inshallah deserve good spouses.. It's not that i dont think I'm worth it's just idk how to explain it

            And inshallah i will make dua.. I never knew midnight was the best time for dua
            and Alhamdulia it's Ramadan the time of mercy in about 2 weeks


            • #7
              Re: What should i do (deep)

              Not sure if it's a good idea to have them butt out of your life. You never know, Allah may guide them through you.

              There are many times which are good for making Dua'a:

              Deep into the nights (not necessarily midnight)
              After making salaah
              After the adhaan
              Before breaking your fast
              While in prostration (not in salaah, though)
              Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

              "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
              - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎