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How to ask someone for marriage?

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  • How to ask someone for marriage?

    I know a man who is looking for a wife, and a woman looking for a husband. They both have good deen and all that.

    The man is a divorcee, how do I sit with him and how should I tell him about this woman, Should I bring a photo of her first,

    and how should the conversation go, what should I ask him etc and how should I just come out with it, that I have found a prospective wife for him?

    Obviously they would meet (in front of mahrams) before marriage and that, but initially how do I tell him about her?

    What questions do you think he will ask me about her, so that I can have answers prehand to answer him

    (p.s. I am mahram to him, just in case you think its a strange man, lol) and should I bring photos of her or what?

    I need some courage lol, any advice ??

  • #2
    Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

    :salams

    OK, he's your mahram, so that should make it very easy. You should talk to the sister first and explain to her what kind of a person he is. See if she's interested and wants to take it further.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    • #3
      Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

      I've spoken to her and she is happy with it, but how do I ask the man?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

        Well, he's your mahram, so it shouldn't be that hard. But, if it is, then you can tell the girl to tell her wali to call him.

        Would that work?
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

          They want me to ask for her, but any advice on what to ask the man, and what do you think he will ask about her? And are photos necessary? etc

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

            Well, if they don't live in diff. countries or cities, then I don't think photos are necessary because they will meet and see each other :insha:

            As for what to ask the man, for now, just let him know about the girl (her commitment to deen, family, education, etc.), then if he needs to ask some other things, you can tell him to wait. Then, just tell the girl what he asked. You know, like be a middleman, back and forth.
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

              Sister

              It is no business of yours to become a match maker. You will be blamed if anything goes wrong in this matter.

              Just don't give anyone a chance of muddslinging in case something unpleasant happens. Especially if that man is your mahram.

              Stay out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your GOOD INTENTIONS will be doubted by people.

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              • #8
                Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

                PARENTS PARENTS PARENTS.

                Why aren't parents involved in the search, why are you trying to fix this up? Why isn't your mother speaking to the boy and girl's mother?

                I am not going to give you advice to do whatever yourself, it's a recipe for trouble as peace keeper has mentioned.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

                  Originally posted by peace keeper View Post
                  Sister

                  It is no business of yours to become a match maker. You will be blamed if anything goes wrong in this matter.

                  Just don't give anyone a chance of muddslinging in case something unpleasant happens. Especially if that man is your mahram.

                  Stay out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your GOOD INTENTIONS will be doubted by people.
                  Why are you thinking things will go wrong?
                  What if they get married?
                  Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                  "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                  - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

                    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                    Why are you thinking things will go wrong?
                    What if they get married?
                    The sister will be considered as responsible if things don't work good before or even after marriage.

                    People will falsely blame her for her good deed.

                    The matchmaker is always blamed for failure despite the fact that the man and woman marrying make a marriage success or failure.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

                      Again, why do you think it's going to lead to failure?

                      And, I disagree that "matchmaker always" get blamed.
                      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

                        lol sit down with him and say 'I know someone who I think may possibly be a suitable match for you' Then tell him basic details about her like her age, religious comittment and so on. Then ask if he is interested to take things further.

                        Khalas!

                        It is a fear to matchmake people, but that doesn't stop me from doing it, because if everyone just sat there and didn't bother helping one another, then how on earth do people expect to get married?!

                        and it doesn't matter if it doesn't work out, because at least you had a good intention.
                        check out this blog>>>http://myworldmuslimah.wordpress.com/

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                        • #13
                          Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

                          Originally posted by peace keeper View Post
                          Sister

                          It is no business of yours to become a match maker. You will be blamed if anything goes wrong in this matter.

                          Just don't give anyone a chance of muddslinging in case something unpleasant happens. Especially if that man is your mahram.

                          Stay out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your GOOD INTENTIONS will be doubted by people.
                          Why should the sister stay out. Its a good deed and inshaAllah once they get married they'll make dua for her and if they don't then sister made effort for a good deed and inshaAllah Allah will reward her.

                          Its this thought process in many muslim families which has kept so many brothers and sisters out of marriage. May Allah give hidaya to all of us.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

                            Originally posted by peace keeper View Post
                            The sister will be considered as responsible if things don't work good before or even after marriage.

                            People will falsely blame her for her good deed.

                            The matchmaker is always blamed for failure despite the fact that the man and woman marrying make a marriage success or failure.
                            but if it is a happy marriage she will br very popular with them.

                            Sister just ask the man, if he is llong to get married again and then tell him about this girl you know, talk about her and ask him if he would be ok with a wife like that.

                            Simples!

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                            • #15
                              Re: How to ask someone for marriage?

                              Originally posted by peace keeper View Post
                              The sister will be considered as responsible if things don't work good before or even after marriage.

                              People will falsely blame her for her good deed.

                              The matchmaker is always blamed for failure despite the fact that the man and woman marrying make a marriage success or failure.
                              What is that mentality? She's only helping to people to meet, what happens after is no more of her business, and if they marry it will be up to them, they'll be the one to decide to marry not her
                              My Blog http://historyeyesopened.tumblr.com/ Watch out sister Nousername
                              Ummah forum mentality depiction by BBC (warning) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

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