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If you can't Love

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  • #76
    Re: If you can't Love

    You've taken your time to explain your actions :jkk: , you don't need to.

    All I'm going to say, is that not all women are the same, just as not all men are the same.

    You are entitled to your own thoughts actions and opinions but please don't make generalizations like that.

    Stupid phone. American spelling

    And even if we don't understand it, see it, value it, there is still blessing in a sunnah.
    Last edited by Jenicca; 20-07-11, 09:29 PM.
    وَالْعَصْرِ

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

    "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

    "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

    Khanqah Habibiyah

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    • #77
      Re: If you can't Love

      You love for the sake of Allah.

      If you don't love, then a person will surely feel something, affection, etc.

      I don't think any one of us know truly what love is, nor have we uderstood what love is, because we do have not found true love of Allah and his Messenger in our own selves.

      Love is transitory like everything else, you might find it, most likely you won't. but lets be honest here, you get married to fulfil desires, have a partner you can share everything with, we want love but we don't get married for love, attraction, lust, etc yes but not for love. love may come over time, its not something that just pops up.

      stop thinking with your hearts people, we all scoff at the storybook love people go on about, but i bet we secretly dream of it and thats what puts these ideas in our heads.

      even if you don't love her/him, your partner gives themselves to you body and heart, so i think its unfair to say i don't love him/her, im just in this marriage for xyz reason. fair enough theres not love, but your in it cause you made your bed and so lie in it, instead of talking in cliches.

      don't you guys get tired of this subject :S live. get it in Jannah. be clicnical minded, instead of a mush pot. or be mushpots and carry on making 'oh im so confused' threads.
      Last edited by KeeKee; 20-07-11, 11:43 PM.
      The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
      (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
      In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

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      • #78
        Re: If you can't Love

        What will you tell your son or daughter if they ask you "Do you love mum?".

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        • #79
          Re: If you can't Love

          sorry...
          Last edited by KeeKee; 21-07-11, 01:12 AM.
          The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
          (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
          In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

          Comment


          • #80
            Re: If you can't Love

            ...
            Last edited by .mirror.; 21-07-11, 01:14 AM.
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

            Comment


            • #81
              Re: If you can't Love

              edited. too many mistakes in previous post because of typing too fast.

              Originally posted by KeeKee View Post
              You love for the sake of Allah.

              If you don't love, then a person will surely feel something, affection, etc.

              I don't think any one of us know truly what love is, nor have we uderstood what love is, because we have not found true love of Allah and his Messenger in our own selves.

              Love is transitory like everything else, you might find it, most likely you won't. but lets be honest here, you get married to fulfil desires, have a partner you can share everything with, we want love but we don't get married for love, attraction, lust, etc yes but not for love. love may come over time, its not something that just pops up.

              stop thinking with your hearts people, we all scoff at the storybook love people go on about, but i bet we all secretly dream of it and thats what puts these ideas in our heads.

              even if you don't love her/him, your partner gives themselves to you body and heart, so i think its unfair to say i don't love him/her, im just in this marriage for xyz reason. fair enough theres not love, but your in it cause you made your bed and so lie in it, instead of talking in cliches.

              don't you guys get tired of this subject :S . live. get it in Jannah. be clicnical minded, instead of a mush pot. or be mushpots and carry on making 'oh im so confused' threads.
              The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
              (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
              In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

              Comment


              • #82
                Re: If you can't Love

                Originally posted by *hijab* View Post
                To be quite honest this thread is kinda depressing. I mean I don't understand how you can't love someone who fears Allah, takes care of you and obeys you?

                Love isn't all about the hunky dory image people portray.

                Maybe you need to do more with your wife to get that spark back?
                I am really sorry for making you feel depressed. Unfortunately this is the life I live every single day. I would love to change it and the way I feel, I try very hard to do that, I even made a lot of dua when I was on hajj but perhaps somethings are not meant to be. I don't have anything against what Allah Swt has decreed for me, I just feel sad that I cannot be the husband my wife expects me to be.

                Request for duas.

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                • #83
                  Re: If you can't Love

                  Originally posted by KeeKee View Post
                  don't you guys get tired of this subject live. get it in Jannah. be clicnical minded, instead of a mush pot. or be mushpots and carry on making 'oh im so confused' threads.
                  I'm sorry if you didn't like my thread, in fact I don't like it myself, wish I neved had to post it, but I guess I needed some help. I thank all those who have given me sincere advice, some of it was very useful. I pray Allah Swt grant you love in your hearts for your spouses and vice versa.

                  I request the moderators to please close this thread as most of the useful post are already in. I fear what will follow will be nothing but small talk and a mockery of my life and feelings.

                  Jazakallah.

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    Re: If you can't Love

                    Originally posted by peace keeper View Post
                    Sorry, I never had the spark to begin with.

                    Though I haven't met or talked with my fiancee but she PROBABLY KNOWS that I am not going to be loving or dutiful husband. So NO WORRIES for me.

                    I don't expect anything from her so she shouldn't expect anything from me.

                    I think it's a FAIR DEAL.
                    I find it hard to believe that you are a robot... but lets just say you don't have the ability to love (perhaps you don't like the female gender? Something to think about) you should inform your potential spouse about this matter before you marry her otherwise you are being grossly unjust. Most people marry for Allah, love and companionship... no one goes into a marriage thinking the couple will lead two different lives.... so no... not a fair deal if she does not know she is marrying a robot.

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                    • #85
                      Re: If you can't Love

                      There's some people who don't really love their parents, probably because of the abuse they went through or some other reason. Yet the Quran/Sunnah tells us we need to be kind and loving towards them, and despite their feelings, for Allah(swt) they will do this without any problems and who knows, they'll mend their problems and love their parents again.

                      I think you should just be a bit more patient. It may take years but who knows (but Allah(swt)), love may come.
                      A Fast Growing Islamic Search Website -

                      www.Searching-Islam.com

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                      • #86
                        Re: If you can't Love

                        Originally posted by zdc View Post
                        I'm sorry if you didn't like my thread, in fact I don't like it myself, wish I neved had to post it, but I guess I needed some help. I thank all those who have given me sincere advice, some of it was very useful. I pray Allah Swt grant you love in your hearts for your spouses and vice versa.

                        I request the moderators to please close this thread as most of the useful post are already in. I fear what will follow will be nothing but small talk and a mockery of my life and feelings.

                        Jazakallah.
                        nothing personal akhi.
                        The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
                        (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
                        In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Re: If you can't Love

                          There is nothing wrong with this thread. It was a voice of a mind, a person. So its good.
                          الصلوۃ والسلام علیک یا سیدی یارسول اللہ

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                          • #88
                            Re: If you can't Love

                            Originally posted by zdc View Post
                            I am really sorry for making you feel depressed. Unfortunately this is the life I live every single day. I would love to change it and the way I feel, I try very hard to do that, I even made a lot of dua when I was on hajj but perhaps somethings are not meant to be. I don't have anything against what Allah Swt has decreed for me, I just feel sad that I cannot be the husband my wife expects me to be.

                            Request for duas.
                            Bro, you sound very negative. "this is my life every single day"..."something are not meant to be."

                            You should be more than happy and grateful to Allah that He has blessed you with a wife that loves you. And, even if you weren't married, at least you have the essentials of life, which many, many people don't have.

                            :insha: Be thankful to Allah for whatever He has given you.

                            You should try from your side to increase love in your marriage, even if you don't feel like doing certain things with your wife. There's an example in Rasulullah :saw: for all of us. Follow him and practice what he did to his wives :insha: Can't go wrong with that.

                            May Allah bless your marriage with love and affection with each other.
                            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              Re: If you can't Love

                              Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                              Bro, you sound very negative. "this is my life every single day"..."something are not meant to be."

                              You should be more than happy and grateful to Allah that He has blessed you with a wife that loves you. And, even if you weren't married, at least you have the essentials of life, which many, many people don't have.

                              :insha: Be thankful to Allah for whatever He has given you.

                              You should try from your side to increase love in your marriage, even if you don't feel like doing certain things with your wife. There's an example in Rasulullah :saw: for all of us. Follow him and practice what he did to his wives :insha: Can't go wrong with that.

                              May Allah bless your marriage with love and affection with each other.
                              Ameen n MashaAllah.

                              Not the end of the world if you dont love your spouse, I cant find the hadith but Umar Ibn Khattab RA said that a marriage isnt built upon love but mutual respect and giving each others rights. I strongly agree with that hadith.

                              Alhamdullilah Allah blessed you with a good wife, its only the tricks of the shaytaan that makes you think that youre "missing" out.
                              Allahumma innaa na'udhu bika min an nushrika bika shai-an na'lamuh; wa nastaghfiruka limaa laa na'lam

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                              • #90
                                Re: If you can't Love

                                here's something else i don't get.
                                why do you talk about your married life so publicly? with all due respect, do people not respect their own privacy? surely people have a friend or someone else to talk to? i think ONLY if there isn't some other way to get advice or offload your problems, should people go on forums, when it comes to marriage.

                                Originally posted by zdc View Post
                                I try my best, but I feel so bad, it's like I am deceiving her or something. No I don't hate her, it's just that she expects me to be all "head over heels" for her and I am just not like that. Often she will say things like I know you don't love me, and I will just try to ignore it or try to convince her that I do. It's just a beeg drama every now and then.

                                I appreciate all the responses.
                                The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
                                (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
                                In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

                                Comment

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