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Controlling Others

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  • #46
    Re: Controlling Others

    :1popcorn: Interesting thread !

    If sm1 tries to control my life , he is VERY mistaken!
    Jannah is my aim

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    • #47
      Re: Controlling Others

      It is narrated that the women of the Sahaabah used to argue and debate with them, and indeed this is the way in which the Mothers of the Believers [i.e., the Prophet’s wives radiAllahu anhuma] used to act with our Prophet (:saw:) ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said to the Prophet :saw: “We Quraysh used to control our women, but when we came to the Ansaar we found that they were a people who were controlled by their women. So our women started to adopt the ways of the Ansaari women. I got angry with my wife and she argued with me and I did not like her arguing with me. She said, ‘Why do you object to me arguing with you? By Allaah, the wives of the Prophet :saw: argue with him…’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4895; Muslim, 1479.

      Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said – discussing the lessons to be learned from this hadeeth –

      “This indicates that being harsh with women is something blameworthy, because the Prophet :saw: adopted the way of the Ansaar with their women and forsook the way of his people.”

      Fath al-Baari, 9/291
      "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

      The Prophet :saw: said:

      "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

      muslim

      Narrated 'Abdullah:

      The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


      "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

      By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

      [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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      • #48
        Re: Controlling Others

        Originally posted by truepath View Post
        it would be a perfect work if men started behaving like Prophet :saw: and sahaba (RA) and if women started behaving like the mothers of the believers.

        However, while its expected of men to behave like Prophet :saw: and his sahaba (RA), if women also start behaving and reasoning like the mothers of the believers, we wouldn't have many problems.
        what is more difficult, and what we have to all try to do, is for men to behave like the Prophet :saw: while his wife isn't behaving like the mothers of the believers (ra) .... AND for women to behave like the mothers of the believers (ra) while her husband Isn't behaving like the Prophet :saw: - because that's the reality of how it is, none of us are as good as the Prophet :saw: or the mothers of the believers (ra) though we should try to be. Our spouses are not perfect either and they will have their moments of behaving in an imperfect way and we have to be able to deal with it while trying to behave in the right way ourselves.

        that goes for all situations other than actual abuse, because if one spouse is abusing the other then the abused on needs to get out to somewhere safe.
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        • #49
          Re: Controlling Others

          re the honour thing....... men can utterly ruin marriages if they worry more about what their friends and neighbours think than what their wives think. Sometimes a man has to tell his friends and neighbours to butt out and mind their own business. If they're suggesting he's less of a man because he lets his wife voice her opinion, he should turn round and tell them to be careful of the green eyed monster. Some men criticise how others are with their wives because they're jealous of their close relationship.
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          • #50
            Re: Controlling Others

            Originally posted by QMU View Post
            aye, real men have real women who dont gossip.... #

            remember even the ayahs of surah yusuf and the tafsir and commentry refers to women who are the main gossipers.... so before you do go on a rant... make sure you dont have the qualities of a gossip!.

            its not about ego.. if a women were to come and do as asiya said for no apparent reason... then you would have to tell her off no doubt.... though it should be done in private... you need to have a word with someone who does that.. be it a child or wife.

            got nothin to do with ego...
            so defiant and resistant to the hadith of rasululah saw. either you're proud or dumb

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            • #51
              Re: Controlling Others

              Originally posted by truepath View Post
              it would be a perfect work if men started behaving like Prophet :saw: and sahaba (RA) and if women started behaving like the mothers of the believers.

              However, while its expected of men to behave like Prophet :saw: and his sahaba (RA), if women also start behaving and reasoning like the mothers of the believers, we wouldn't have many problems.
              totally agree!
              “This day I have perfected your religion for you,completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” [5:3]"I have created the jinns and the humans solely to worship Me."[51:56]"a woman's heart should be lost in God, that a man needs to see him in order to find her"

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