Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

    My grandfather kept his promise and didn't remarry the remaining 24 years of his life despite of family pressure to remarry. He had his logical reasons and I respect that.

    It is clear from history that the Prophet (saw) and Suhabas (r.a) did remarry after the death of a wife. Same goes for Sahabias (r.a) when their husband died, no one had any problem when they accepted the proposal of another Suhabi (r.a), unlike what happens in our culture. Of course, their aim of remarriage was based on religious improvement not only in their own lives but also for the purpose of serving Deen (Islam), but in our times Muslims might have other priorities for remarriage ?!?

    Children might be a critical factor. It could turn out to be good or bad for them, both ways depending upon the intentions. In which conditions would you consider this risk worth taking ?
    Read not to contradict and confute, not to believe and take for granted, not to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider. Inhale positive, exhale negative

  • #2
    Re: What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

    This was suppose to be posted in Marriage section. My absent mindedness. Mods kindly move it to the relevant forum.
    Read not to contradict and confute, not to believe and take for granted, not to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider. Inhale positive, exhale negative

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

      Done

      :jkk:
      وَالْعَصْرِ

      إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

      إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

      "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

      "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

      Khanqah Habibiyah

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

        My cousin is hardly 21, shes widow, luvly mum of 2 gawjus boys :masha: and has received handful of decent proposals (from single brothers family mostly), despite the 'remarrying' stigma among desis. But she has strictly said that she has no intention to remarry.

        I guess its a choice? you cant really force sum1 to it?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

          i think theres a belief that the last husband you had is the one you will be with in jannah, dont know the truth in it

          Recipes for all the family :inlove:
          (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

            If I get the perfect husband (and I will inshallah) and I'm widowed, well then I can't imagine wanting to get married again.....unless of course an equally hot guy comes my way in which case you gotta do what you gotta do....

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

              In my opinion, making any such promises to your spouse is not a good idea; for example, preventing your spouse from getting married in case they died. I would not want my wife to spend her life alone just because Allah called me before her.

              A widow is classified as unmarried, so they are not fulfilling the Sunnah. Also, if there are young children involved, then they'll be deprived of the love of a mother/father.

              How long can one stay in this phase? After a few years, you're bound to want to have a companion again and there's nothing wrong with that. It's not like you will have to answer your belated spouse in the Hereafter. Allah has made it halal to get married again and He's the only one we have to answer.
              Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

              "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
              - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

                ^^ a lot of sinle mothers dont remarry because of the kids, islamically if the mother remarried she looses her automatic custody of the kids.

                also mothers worry about abuse of dauhters by step fathers/ sf's family, and dont feel comfortable havin a non blood related male in the house with their rowin dauhters, and they worry that the kids they have with their new hsband miht be favoured, treated differently by herself, her husband and her new inlaws etc.

                some wifes even non muslims wait until their kids are adults before contemplatin relationships.

                Recipes for all the family :inlove:
                (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

                  Valid points, esp. the first one.

                  Is there a way around the losing custody of your children, though?
                  Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                  "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                  - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

                    Allah SWT commanded "men are protectors of women" (4.34)
                    if a man dies, expecting his widow not to re-marry again, then he does not understand the said verse
                    and he is one selfish person to boot!
                    how does he expect his widow & children to fend for themselves ?

                    as far as i know, if a woman have a few husbands in her lifetime, she is allowed to choose the best of them as her companion in jannah
                    “And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter - that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew.” [29:64]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by naila-k View Post
                      ^^ a lot of sinle mothers dont remarry because of the kids, islamically if the mother remarried she looses her automatic custody of the kids.

                      also mothers worry about abuse of dauhters by step fathers/ sf's family, and dont feel comfortable havin a non blood related male in the house with their rowin dauhters, and they worry that the kids they have with their new hsband miht be favoured, treated differently by herself, her husband and her new inlaws etc.

                      some wifes even non muslims wait until their kids are adults before contemplatin relationships.
                      But in case of husbands death the custody rule is different. Obviously the children have to stay with her because no else will raise them.
                      Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
                      (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: What has 'loyalty' to do with re-marriage ?

                        sometimes a person chooses not to remarry not because of any promises were made, but due to not wantong to marry. and whoever feels they have no need for marriage is perfectly entitled to remain single if they so wish.
                        You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

                        ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X