Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

    Some of these are bad reasons. I mean "mom's too fat" ? Come on. That one is especially bad because it might make something between mom and daughter, and mom's going to feel bad.

    As for me, only reasons I didn't accept were that the sister was not practicing and/or I was not attracted.
    والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

    "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

    Comment


    • #32
      Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

      Major reason would be not practising, or even any outward showing of Deen playing a role in their life.

      Momma 2 phat, is seriously too funny to be true. People are just

      Do not think of minor sins as insignificant, for mountains are made out of pebbles.

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

        Originally posted by SanSan View Post
        Seriously. The girl was exemplary in every way. But she got rejected just coz her MOM was fat (after about 26 years of marriage and having 3 children). People should really revise their criteria when searching for a potential spouse :wacko:
        Some crazy people :wacko:

        I haven't rejected anyone. I did consider someone but we both agreed that we weren't compatible for each other so we just moved on. If I were to reject someone in the future, it would be because he's not practicing, I'm not attracted to him, terrible characters/manners.

        Comment


        • #34
          Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

          hmm i kinda dont like the sound of this thread, it dont sound right. when we reject people, its not nice to really say like yeh i rejected this and this person for this reason, i see it as a personal thing between ourselves and not to tell the whole world but thats just my opinion.

          if you're asking generally then common reasons are not practising or not attracted to them or didnt have a good feeling about them, what other reasons could there be? any other reason that people give is being fussy and to be honest maybe its a good thing that people get rejected by others who do not place emphasis on character and deen first.

          Comment


          • #35
            Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

            whaaaaaaaat ur mama is faaaaaaat


            here are my reasons

            - wasnt ready for marrige
            - he didnt speak arabic (( arabic is deal breaker for me)
            - too old nearly 20 years gap
            second time
            - i didnt want to relocate
            - 1 year yonger than me
            - he wasnt practising ( he spoke arabic tho)

            dont get me wrong i dont want to marry an Arab

            thid time
            - ooh god he was weedhead plus hoodrat, gangester wanabe

            and that was enough to decline

            and then some family weirdos :vomit:
            Last edited by innocent_girl; 04-05-12, 08:40 PM.

            http://quran.cc/images/Quranlogo.png........http://i.imgur.com/b066ayL.png

            “My sin burdened me heavily. But when I measured it against Your Grace, O Lord, Your forgiveness came out greater.” Imam Shafie

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

              Originally posted by Pinkpink View Post
              Salams,

              I know a lot of people who have been rejected when they meet potential spouses. I have no idea why especially if they are ok looking, practicing and have a good personality? Are people being too fussy? Are most people waiting for a perfect person? I know so many girls who I think are amazing but guys are rejecting them and everyone is just becoming older and older.
              Please share your reasons. And if you are married what is the trait of your spouse that clinched the deal?

              JazakAllah khair.
              :wswrwb:

              I didn't have the opportunity to reject anyone, My Wife was the First Potential Spouse/Muslimah I saw, she had Hayaa, Deen and Good character, I knew this beforehand from my parents and elderly relatives, and that was sufficient.

              the best decision I made in my life, Allah ta'ala blessed me with a Pious wife and a Son and granted me Rizq when I felt hopeless ion my search for a Full-time job ...

              like the Hadith says, Fitna and Fassad is on the Increase, because people are rejecting Proposals from People of good Deen and Character,

              :jkk:
              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

                Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
                :wswrwb:

                I didn't have the opportunity to reject anyone, My Wife was the First Potential Spouse/Muslimah I saw, she had Hayaa, Deen and Good character, I knew this beforehand from my parents and elderly relatives, and that was sufficient.

                the best decision I made in my life, Allah ta'ala blessed me with a Pious wife and a Son and granted me Rizq when I felt hopeless ion my search for a Full-time job ...

                like the Hadith says, Fitna and Fassad is on the Increase, because people are rejecting Proposals from People of good Deen and Character,

                :jkk:
                SubhanaAllah! May Allah continue to give barakah to you and your family!

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

                  Originally posted by علي View Post
                  Some of these are bad reasons. I mean "mom's too fat" ? Come on. That one is especially bad because it might make something between mom and daughter, and mom's going to feel bad.

                  As for me, only reasons I didn't accept were that the sister was not practicing and/or I was not attracted.
                  salaams to all

                  most likely the people were judging the girl by her mother
                  they are assuming she will be fat after 3 kids as well

                  but thats a bit stupid cos we have 2 parents & the characteristics/traits of both parents are in the girl.
                  so she could be more like her dad in that regard...

                  anyways its very stupid & inconsiderate to give that as a reason
                  it was NOT necessary to mention that-even if its true
                  any less insulting excuse will suffice in that situation

                  getting back to the actual topic:
                  nobody that i have been to see has been honest and given the REAL reason they did not like me
                  they were all quite tactful- cos it was not necessary to speak the truth in a situation like that

                  but if they had to speak the truth it would be:
                  -too dark
                  -not handsome
                  -not wealthy

                  but before anyone feels sorry for me; i want a wife thats fair, beautiful, good figure/body & at least 10 yrs younger than me-im 38.
                  not to mention pious.

                  and Allah ta'ala knows best
                  jazakallah
                  Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
                  very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    I've rejected brothers and I have gotten rejected myself. The first time I wasn't attracted to the brother and he was still living with family and hadn't finished uni. The second guy had another wife I wasn't keen on being wife no.2. And the last guy rejected me. For what reason I don't know. I suspect that he wasn't attracted to me because after I sent my pic my dad was like forget about that brother.
                    Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
                    (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

                      Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post
                      I've rejected brothers and I have gotten rejected myself. The first time I wasn't attracted to the brother and he was still living with family and hadn't finished uni. The second guy had another wife I wasn't keen on being wife no.2. And the last guy rejected me. For what reason I don't know. I suspect that he wasn't attracted to me because after I sent my pic my dad was like forget about that brother.
                      Did you feel bad after that? I did something similar but al hamdulilah the girl had no idea about it. I wish I was the kind of person who did not care about looks and just took deen into consideration, but it's hard. Not that I have ridiculous high standards or anything, I do see people I genuinely find attractive but then in those cases, the deen...
                      والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

                      "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

                        Originally posted by Just A Sister View Post
                        I have been rejected for being too "thin"! Aunty actually asked my mom why I was so thin! I am not anorexic or anything! But I guess being fat is preffered by some
                        What, that's ridiculous how can you be rejected for being too thin?! Most of these reasons are so so superficial and some are downright stupid lol.
                        And strive because the sweetness of life lies in the struggle - Imam al-Shafi'i

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

                          Originally posted by علي View Post
                          Did you feel bad after that? I did something similar but al hamdulilah the girl had no idea about it. I wish I was the kind of person who did not care about looks and just took deen into consideration, but it's hard. Not that I have ridiculous high standards or anything, I do see people I genuinely find attractive but then in those cases, the deen...
                          Honestly no I didn't feel bad. People have their preferences. Just like i have my pefences when it comes to looks that brother did as well. And I believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder. just because they one brother didn't find me attractive doesn't mean I'm not attractive. I know some sisters fall apart after something like that happening but honestly it didn't bother. I felt like it should have bothered me but it didn't.
                          Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
                          (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

                            Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post
                            Honestly no I didn't feel bad. People have their preferences. Just like i have my pefences when it comes to looks that brother did as well. And I believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder. just because they one brother didn't find me attractive doesn't mean I'm not attractive. I know some sisters fall apart after something like that happening but honestly it didn't bother. I felt like it should have bothered me but it didn't.
                            MashaAllah resiliance is a good quality to have.
                            And strive because the sweetness of life lies in the struggle - Imam al-Shafi'i

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

                              ya allah, where do i start. too long of a list from both ways

                              Here are few top once:
                              1) Felt there was something fishy about him. Then found some info to conform my fishy feeling & decided to not get in the mess
                              2) His family seem controling and traditional. I knew we would be good togather but his family will kill it. Too much mess for me to deal with
                              3) Wrong part of the country; Out of country: I am not importing a husband; wrong race
                              4) NO education or no job potential, a total bum
                              5) Too career focus. Said how he makes 6 fig salary few times during first conversation. Everyone just shook their head but this was mutual rejection
                              6) Too fat. I am talking 300lb fat, no thank you

                              I have gotten rejected for:
                              1) Too short
                              2) Not attractive
                              3) Too bossy (love that one), especially when another guy said I am not ambitious enough
                              4) Too dark (love that one too)
                              5) Wrong last name

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Re: What are the reasons you have rejected a potential spouse?

                                Recently rejected someone mostly on the basis of them being like 20 years older and pitching the whole thing like a financial arrangement. The main feature seemed to be his wealth.

                                Last time I was rejected was along time ago, once rejected because the person didn't like my picture, rejected once because their family wasn't satisfied with my education level. There have been meetings where both of us mutually were just not that interested in each other and were not comfortable around each other.
                                Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion, and He is Able to do all things. (67.1)

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X