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Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

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  • muslimloser
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Salaam Thanks Bro for the Four Step guide.

    I think there has to be an area of deep reflection of review of how and why things went wrong? it is very indeed Allahs qadr but any sane person cannot go in life living in life without any certain control in their life especially their love life. This is often the gap with islamic counselling, there are some very real reasons things dont work out and we should not be shy to look at them objectively and make changes or challenge the status quo.

    Indeed Allah helps a people who help themselves. Those of us who have been hurt know why things went wrong and know if they have been wronged and they have a right to stick up for themselves the second time around.

    Muslim Loser

    Leave a comment:


  • RaNdOm
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Originally posted by Igiveup View Post
    I am reaching the end of my relationship with a woman I dreamt would be the mother of my children.

    The reason I am posting on this thread today is to express my thoughts, feelings, and emotions so that in a few years, when I look back, I will understand the pain I overcame with the help of Allah swt in'sha'allah. I just need a place to vent and I suppose this thread is as good a place as any.

    My story:
    I fell in love with a woman and was in a relationship with her for only 6 months; what feels like the six best months I've ever spent with someone. Within a week we were attached to each other. We spoke about anything and everything to the point we knew each other better than we knew ourselves.

    She's kind, she's pretty, she's smart, she's caring, she's fun, she's understanding.

    Why I love her is:
    She healed me from what the last girl did to me, she made me understand that not every woman wants money, that some people just love, she made me see the true colours of my fake friends and now they're both out my life. She stopped me talking to other girls. She taught me to love myself, I was so bitter. She made me feel good. Made me feel handsome. Made me feel like I count. Like I matter. She was like my wife. I opened up completely to her. She knew my deepest darkest secrets and she helped me overcome them. Secrets I thought I would die with. She helped me.
    It was definitely love.

    However, she is a disbeliever of Allah swt and she is firm in her disbelief. Because of this, I told her it is forbidden for me to marry her and that one day we will end this. She used to say she would convert for me, but that would only make her my wife, not a Muslim. She cried wishing she was born a Muslim. She became so depressed. May Allah swt guide her.

    It came to a point where she became ill and finally decided we will end our relationship this week.
    She broke down and in turn it broke me down. The pain of losing someone that I have loved so deeply made me sick.

    This then turned to the pain of someone I love going to jahannum in the end.
    I became desperate and begged her to convert, to consider islam.. I was going crazy begging Allah swt to save her, to guide her, even if it's not with me in the end. I became so ill that my family became worried for my health, not knowing it was due to depression.

    I approached my friends to get some help, some just brushed it off as "some girl", others tried to show me that only Allah swt can guide & to forget. She herself told me I'll fall in love with another after her.

    In the end I asked my cousin, an imam, to help guide me.
    He explained that because shaitaan was the third in our relationship, he made the girl seem like the source of my happiness. I said things like she helped me pray 5 times a day, she helped me get through my life, but it wasn't her it was Allah swt.
    He explained that my crying for her conversion was unjustified. He asked me if I cried this much for my own mother's deen or my family's deen. He asked me why am I crying so much for a stranger when my own family could be struggling with their Islam.
    Allah swt is the one who guides, we can only "invite" to Islam.
    My relationship with her was haraam from the start, no matter how much love we have. May Allah swt protect us all from haraam love.

    I still have a few days left with her before we go our separate ways as she wants to wish me for my birthday at least once in this lifetime. My weakness for her allows it.
    It is a pain I can not describe in words.

    I know healing can only start once we cut off, block each other, and delete every message. My imaan in weak in the sense that I am depressed over this; I find it hard to accept Allah swt's decree, I can't stop praying to Allah swt to grant her to me as a Muslim wife. It's wrong, in'sha'allah I will stop one day and just focus on myself and my family.

    To my future self, if you ever go through the pain of loss again, remember this moment and be grateful to Allah swt for getting you past it. It hurts, by Allah swt, it definitely hurts. My eyes tear as I write this. Just know that Allah swt will save you as He as always saved you.

    I will post again in the future once I have moved on. Until then I make dua for all those in pain from either halal or haraam love. I hope you pray for me too.

    Indeed to Allah swt we belong and to Allah swt we will return.
    Hmm

    :salams

    i'm glad u spoke to the imam because he advised you well

    when you play with fire, you will definitely get burned - but look to the burning as expiation

    she didn't heal you from those problems because Allah swt is in control of our happiness and sadness

    alhamdulilah thank Allah swt a thousand times that He kept u firm enough not to leave your deen for her

    Read up on decree and the mercy of Allah swt and some lightness may reach your heart

    If you give up something for His sake He will never forsake you so make sure this intention is pure

    Repent for your mistake and build your emaan to make your love of Him stronger than anything else

    This is where u should believe with all your heart that He will never let you suffer if you are sincere in your repentance and worship

    May Allah swt heal your heart ameen

    read His names and attributes and love Him more

    Leave a comment:


  • Igiveup
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    I am reaching the end of my relationship with a woman I dreamt would be the mother of my children.

    The reason I am posting on this thread today is to express my thoughts, feelings, and emotions so that in a few years, when I look back, I will understand the pain I overcame with the help of Allah swt in'sha'allah. I just need a place to vent and I suppose this thread is as good a place as any.

    My story:
    I fell in love with a woman and was in a relationship with her for only 6 months; what feels like the six best months I've ever spent with someone. Within a week we were attached to each other. We spoke about anything and everything to the point we knew each other better than we knew ourselves.

    She's kind, she's pretty, she's smart, she's caring, she's fun, she's understanding.

    Why I love her is:
    She healed me from what the last girl did to me, she made me understand that not every woman wants money, that some people just love, she made me see the true colours of my fake friends and now they're both out my life. She stopped me talking to other girls. She taught me to love myself, I was so bitter. She made me feel good. Made me feel handsome. Made me feel like I count. Like I matter. She was like my wife. I opened up completely to her. She knew my deepest darkest secrets and she helped me overcome them. Secrets I thought I would die with. She helped me.
    It was definitely love.

    However, she is a disbeliever of Allah swt and she is firm in her disbelief. Because of this, I told her it is forbidden for me to marry her and that one day we will end this. She used to say she would convert for me, but that would only make her my wife, not a Muslim. She cried wishing she was born a Muslim. She became so depressed. May Allah swt guide her.

    It came to a point where she became ill and finally decided we will end our relationship this week.
    She broke down and in turn it broke me down. The pain of losing someone that I have loved so deeply made me sick.

    This then turned to the pain of someone I love going to jahannum in the end.
    I became desperate and begged her to convert, to consider islam.. I was going crazy begging Allah swt to save her, to guide her, even if it's not with me in the end. I became so ill that my family became worried for my health, not knowing it was due to depression.

    I approached my friends to get some help, some just brushed it off as "some girl", others tried to show me that only Allah swt can guide & to forget. She herself told me I'll fall in love with another after her.

    In the end I asked my cousin, an imam, to help guide me.
    He explained that because shaitaan was the third in our relationship, he made the girl seem like the source of my happiness. I said things like she helped me pray 5 times a day, she helped me get through my life, but it wasn't her it was Allah swt.
    He explained that my crying for her conversion was unjustified. He asked me if I cried this much for my own mother's deen or my family's deen. He asked me why am I crying so much for a stranger when my own family could be struggling with their Islam.
    Allah swt is the one who guides, we can only "invite" to Islam.
    My relationship with her was haraam from the start, no matter how much love we have. May Allah swt protect us all from haraam love.

    I still have a few days left with her before we go our separate ways as she wants to wish me for my birthday at least once in this lifetime. My weakness for her allows it.
    It is a pain I can not describe in words.

    I know healing can only start once we cut off, block each other, and delete every message. My imaan in weak in the sense that I am depressed over this; I find it hard to accept Allah swt's decree, I can't stop praying to Allah swt to grant her to me as a Muslim wife. It's wrong, in'sha'allah I will stop one day and just focus on myself and my family.

    To my future self, if you ever go through the pain of loss again, remember this moment and be grateful to Allah swt for getting you past it. It hurts, by Allah swt, it definitely hurts. My eyes tear as I write this. Just know that Allah swt will save you as He as always saved you.

    I will post again in the future once I have moved on. Until then I make dua for all those in pain from either halal or haraam love. I hope you pray for me too.

    Indeed to Allah swt we belong and to Allah swt we will return.

    Leave a comment:


  • GoogleSlayer
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    :up:

    Leave a comment:


  • ninety1daisies
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    wow this thread is from ~13 years ago..

    subhanAllah.

    I wonder where all these users are now... -sigh

    Leave a comment:


  • ninety1daisies
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    hmmm

    :)

    Leave a comment:


  • anaSS11
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Yeap .. well done

    Leave a comment:


  • seekin27
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Blessing in disguise.

    Leave a comment:


  • closertoislam
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Dear Brothers and Sisters,

    I hope you can help me with something.

    I am a 20 year old girl, who had a long distance relationship with an English muslim convert. I would not consider it a typical relationship-relationship, but there were feelings involved, but we wanted to keep things the halal way. Anyways, I am going to try and make a long story short. We met online, but we skyped and everything so the person is real do not worry about that. And we spoke for 2 years. I was going to move to England for studies, and so was he (but our decision was based on by each other) it was something I had planned before I even spoke to him ever. However I had a gap year before I moved to London, due to personal reasons and so did he, but to travel. Our relationship was very good and he would always keep me updated and would talk about the future with me, and said that when we both moved to London we would have to meet to see where things were going and because the feelings were strongly involved. For me this seemed like the perfect guy because of the way he was looking at Islam and also how we would teach other things about it, however during november/december of 2015 after he mentioned he wanted to meet me earlier, he wanted a break. Which broke my heart, but that break did not last long, however when we spoke again things weren't great and we fully stopped talking for 7 weeks and without me expecting it, he contacted me. And later on admitted that he had not lost his feelings towards me, and that he had been drinking again so it ruined his relationship with me and to some extend islam. However when he contacted me he said he was on a better way and he was still into meeting in London, but the closer we got to moving to London something happened, when I mentioned that we would have to meet and that I could not put my life on hold, he said there was no chance of anything anymore and that it just wouldn't happen. Now I have been here in London for 3 months, and he tried to contact me three times, but on my old number. The third time he contacted me over Facebook and said he still cared about me and wanted to know how i was doing, when I replied he went silten for 2 weeks and then I asked him why he did so, and he said it wasn't a good idea of him to contact me, and three days ago I found out that he is now dating/in a relationship with a new girl who is non-muslim and from pictures I have seen it looks like he has started to drink again. When I mentioned to him that when it came to me he said he needed to take Islam seriously, but with her its not? He said "dont mention it" I feel like he knows he is making a mistake (Islamic wise)

    I have deleted him from all social media, but my brothers and sisters it is very painful. I thought Allah had sent me him into my life for a good reason, because when things were good they were perfect and also the things we shared about Islam. I feel like he know has fallen back into his bad habits, because he mentioned that his previous relationship (before me) was a mistake because it ruined his way to Islam.

    For the time I knew him he didn't struggle with drinking, he would pray and fast during ramadan and now you´re thinking how could u possibly know? Well because even though it wasn't the most common relationship, there was trust and proper updates.

    What do I do now? I really want him in my life as the person I knew him for, I feel like he will reach a point and realize the mistakes he is doing at the moment and regret the way he has treated me this past time... I am just really hurt. I am not saying I want to be married now, I am still very young, but this was a person I could see a future with and so could he. The new girl is not even a muslim, so I am pretty sure he cannot be himself with this girl. Also I found some comments where he was being rude to one of his best friends who is also a muslim. Also why would he contact me...

    I hope you can help me...

    Leave a comment:


  • revertmuslim2016
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    asalaam alykum very wise words brother alhamdulilAllah i was once married and i am a revert, after i was married i met my wifes family and was finally accpeted by her family i am of mixed heratige and her family is mixed with eygpt/turkish/ and pakistani i noticed much culture following and family views in place instead of islamic quran and sunnah, Me being a person who likes to seek knowledge , caused much clashing of views, and arguments between myself and my wife, finally after 3 years of disruption and heartache, i am now divorced, a few words of advise to people from my own experiences "some people can live with culture within family" but some people cant, i loved my wife very very much i never ever loved before a person such as her,
    it is very hard to make a marriage work if you follow quran and sunnah if culture interferes with deen, the words of our prophet s.a.w are very very true!" youll have nothing but dust on your hands if you marry for any other reason but religion" when i first met my wife she was, and still is practising, but i didnt know about the culture aspect until regularly going to family gatherings and outings and when certain issues arose, i tried to advise and others did but some people are very stubborn, and only Allah guides whom he pleases, Love is a very strong condition sometimes i think its better to not love,
    theres a saying i heard once from a wise person "Take RESPECT, for without RESPECT there is NO LOVE!
    Last edited by revertmuslim2016; 23-10-16, 07:14 PM. Reason: MISTAKES

    Leave a comment:


  • ClaudiaTheLion
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    I totally agree. Poetry is the same as prayers.

    Leave a comment:


  • SumitaSofat
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    mashallah, excellent article

    Leave a comment:


  • zeagirl
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    i cant wait to get over it!

    Leave a comment:


  • GoogleSlayer
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    :rotfl: :rotfl: ^^^^

    Leave a comment:


  • nadinesauriol
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Hiii

    Explain your feeling by heart teaching letter and poetry throw.

    Leave a comment:

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