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Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

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  • Momochi
    replied
    Salam,

    I would like to share with you, sisters and brothers, my story:

    9 years ago, I have meet on educational forum for studying foreign languages a boy, from Emirates (He was learning English, I too, in exchange I have learned with him German language and History). He was wonderful and, believed in Allah. Before I met him, I was unsure about my believs, but I have read about Islam, about Allah, how Muslims live - everything. It was something new for me, and it was like a path: I've agreed with many points. I have converted, on my own will, without someone's pressing. He didn't knew. From friendship fast was first love. You need to know, that we never meet in real life: just chat/Skype/WhatsApp. He was sharing with me all jis burdens, problems, weakness, good times, success. The same was with me: I could count on his support, a good word, a joke to improve my mood. Years passed.

    Together, each of us in our countries graduated from university: he from computer science, I from business management. He swore that I am the love of his life, that he wants to marry me, have children and grow old. I finally told him that for so many years I was also a Muslim, that these wishes made to him on the occasion of Eid Al-Fitr or others were not courteous - that at the same time I also experienced it, prayed, fasted. I did not grow up in the Muslim religion, but I learned it and go to the Muslim Center, where I learn, work and can learn something from older sisters.


    When I confessed to him, everything started to go wrong. he started to have less and less time for me. I understand, he started to work - I respect it, I also work myself. The problem of parents poured a bit of bitterness: that they would never accept me, because I do not come from the same cultural circle, that I do not know whether to introduce me to them. For nine years, he never told about me his parents or siblings. For that, I decided & introduced him to my family because from the very beginning I wanted to be serious and honest with him.


    With time, contact began to break. I made it clear: I am 26 years old, you have 27. It is time to start seriously: meet, meet our families, start thinking seriously about the future. I work in a large corporation with offices in Dubai, so relocation would not be a problem. He then panicked. For goodbye he only sent me a song on WhatsApp and since December he does not speak to me.

    How do I feel? Betrayed, used, washed out of emotions. I can not trust a man anymore. Should I finish this relationship sooner? I do not know. Everything started to go wrong from the moment he found out I was a Muslim. I'm not an ugly woman, I'm even considered very attractivr, though I'm not flounce because of modesty; now, after graduation, I earn very well, I am the head of the Financial Audit department - I am constantly developing, so I would not be a financial burden for him; so I do not know what happened.

    Now just prayers helps a little and job: slowly become workaholic, but I don't care as long as I don't think about this situation. This post is for me a purification of the soul: I have not told anyone so far. I believe that when I throw it out of myself, I will be able to finally find relief from this heartache.
    Last edited by Momochi; 19-01-19, 01:51 AM.

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  • Zaina786
    replied
      • Assalamualaikum,

        It’s great to hear that you’re so firm upon your decision of not marrying a non Muslim woman in spite of the immense love that you have for her.
        I suggest you should not stop praying for her to convert at least until either of the two of you find your true love elsewhere. Coz dua is the most powerful weapon and it can change any situation and it not at all wrong for you to pray that your love becomes Muslim and your relationship thus turns halal. Also, I didn’t understand that if she’s ready to convert for you, why don’t you give her a chance, may be she’ll truly change her heart once she gets to see the real beautiful Islam?
        I pray that Allah rewards you with immense love and care and if this relationship is khayr for you, you get married to her soon and she converts to Islam. Although, I’d suggest that until then you cut off contacts with her and seek help through prayers and Insha Allah may be one day she might come to you as a Muslimah. Aameen!!! + MORE OPTIONS

    Leave a comment:


  • Zaina786
    commented on 's reply
    Assalamualaikum,

    It’s great to hear that you’re so firm upon your decision of not marrying a non Muslim woman in spite of the immense love that you have for her.
    I suggest you should not stop praying for her to convert at least until either of the two of you find your true love elsewhere. Coz dua is the most powerful weapon and it can change any situation and it not at all wrong for you to pray that your love becomes Muslim and your relationship thus turns halal. Also, I didn’t understand that if she’s ready to convert for you, why don’t you give her a chance, may be she’ll truly change her heart once she gets to see the real beautiful Islam?
    I pray that Allah rewards you with immense love and care and if this relationship is khayr for you, you get married to her soon and she converts to Islam. Although, I’d suggest that until then you cut off contacts with her and seek help through prayers and Insha Allah may be one day she might come to you as a Muslimah. Aameen!!!

  • RashdahH
    replied
    Make dua constantly and remember that Allah only does things for your good, never for your bad. One day, you'll understand the wisdom of what has happened even if you don't at present.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mintchocchip
    replied
    Just remember Allah (swt) is the best of planners. Accept what has happened with plenty of patience and prayer. InshaAllah with time it becomes easier.

    Leave a comment:


  • whadda
    replied
    Qayr inshallah

    Leave a comment:


  • Indefinable
    replied
    Originally posted by NGE View Post
    :start:

    :salams

    I've made this thread in order to assist the many heart broken individuals we get posting threads in this section. Getting over a lost love is quite a hardship and one can be very confused, emotional and in such pain that they are unable to rationalise the situation without some form of outside help.

    I've seen many threads where a person is told to "just get over it" etc and is treated quite harshly when this is not at all the way to deal with such people. I myself can attest to how it feels to experience the highest highs of love as well as the lowest of the lows and then to lose it all. This harsh treatment almost always comes from those who have not experienced the same situation and my advice to those who seek to advise another but cannot help but to be harsh, is that they should simply stay silent and leave it to those who will show some compassion and patience. (I remind myself before others, inshaa'Allah.)

    I found an article which, I believe has some excellent tips for those who are lovesick and thought sharing it would be a good idea. I hope this thread can help those who are suffering from heart break to understand better their situation and the whirlwind of emotions and then give them the push they need in order to move on and continue with life stronger then they were before, inshaa'Allah.



    Source: http://islamic-quotes.blogspot.com/2...ken-heart.html

    Okay - but what if you don't want to get over it?

    Leave a comment:


  • Shayan ali
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Thanks a lot for all the people who shared their thoughts. Jazak Allah kher and follow the namaz timings because namaz will keep your heart strong.

    Leave a comment:


  • xLost
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Anyone up for a talk about this? I have just created a thread but can't find it anywhere...

    Leave a comment:


  • Confidante
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    I wonder where you are in life now. And where she is too.
    And I wonder wtf (what the fatwa) is wrong with most people that instead of completely entering into Islam, they just pick one thing and impose it is such a way that it ends bad for people. Didn't ALLAH SWT tell us that Allah does not intend difficulty? Didn't He say He does not wish harm? Did He not say that He is Most Merciful and only intends good for you? Did He not say to strive on the right path and invite and be persistent at it? To invite WITH WISDOM and GOOD PRACTICAL EXAMPLE?
    Where is the wisdom on ordering a person to convert or bear emotional death? What kind of practical Islam is portrayed when loving and caring about someone is held hostage to apparently empty and regressive whims of religious clergy rooted in misunderstanding of the core tenets of this beautiful lifestyle?

    Allah SWT did not tell us to tear people apart in inviting them to His way. Allah SWT has allowed marriage with "people of the book" and has allowed consensual relations even with slaves, and for good purpose, for those desiring chastity.
    I pray that you, and others in such situations read this, and don't be hasty in converting your potential other. All good things take time. And if you, the man, have a good understanding of Islam in the way it's supposed to be, then your woman will go to great lengths with you, embracing Islam being just one of those.

    It breaks me to read about people being broken apart. It's a cold and heartless thing to do when there is the better alternative of working at it slowly and joining hearts bringing people closer to Allah SWT.

    I so wish I could speak to the two of you and tell you how beautiful your deen is in these matters. It joins hearts with those that are good, and distances from those that are not, the end result being goodness either way. That is the way of Allah, full of mercy. He Himself says His mercy is greater and overshadows His wrath.

    May Allah SWT guide us all to the true purpose and understanding of Islam.

    P.s. poor translations lead to poor understanding leading to poor advice. We are prohibited from marrying a kafir, i.e. one in denial. A person cannot be in denial of something that they don't even know. Without proper education about, and invitation to, Islam, we should refrain from the trigger-happy kafir declarations that are tearing hearts apart. Give people a chance to see the light before we declare them blind.
    Last edited by Confidante; 22-09-17, 06:56 AM.

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  • ZAHRA1234
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    its better to love Allah because no one in this world derserve real love so dot waste your time for that

    Leave a comment:


  • ZAHRA1234
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    i really appreciated that type of site

    Leave a comment:


  • TURJUMAN
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Originally posted by muslimloser View Post
    Salaam Bro,

    This is a common bro i wouldnt be too worried. If shes a good girl and knows how to submit to you well than she is doing better than many many many muslim sisters.
    The first half of our deen is your relationship with allah pray fast zikr etc the second half is you and your wifes relationship with allah which comes from submissive and caring behaviours.
    This is usually the big challenge for many sisters and if you have a solid non-believing woman i wouldn't let her go for the world. These imams and maulana are totally lost they have no real fundamental solutions or the way forward.

    She might see herself as a muslim if you treat her well, btw we are allowed to marry jews and christians most imams would say you are not but you are!!!!
    Who are you? Stop trolling people please. Imams don't make up stuff up. This is an Islamic forum & you're advising Muslims to hold on to non-believing women? Were you created in this world to satisfy your desires by whatever means necessary? Are you even Muslim to begin with?

    Leave a comment:


  • muslimloser
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    wow sister read this post its full of running feelings.

    if the bro has challenges with drinking etc accept him for who he is and move on! drinking is a sin not kufr you will meet many ethnic men who drink too!
    weigh out pros and cons.
    The reality of marrying a convert is they come with real challenges and baggage cost of nikkahing a white guy.

    Leave a comment:


  • muslimloser
    replied
    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Salaam Bro,

    This is a common bro i wouldnt be too worried. If shes a good girl and knows how to submit to you well than she is doing better than many many many muslim sisters.
    The first half of our deen is your relationship with allah pray fast zikr etc the second half is you and your wifes relationship with allah which comes from submissive and caring behaviours.
    This is usually the big challenge for many sisters and if you have a solid non-believing woman i wouldn't let her go for the world. These imams and maulana are totally lost they have no real fundamental solutions or the way forward.

    She might see herself as a muslim if you treat her well, btw we are allowed to marry jews and christians most imams would say you are not but you are!!!!

    Leave a comment:

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