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Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

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  • Make dua constantly and remember that Allah only does things for your good, never for your bad. One day, you'll understand the wisdom of what has happened even if you don't at present.

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        • Assalamualaikum,

          It’s great to hear that you’re so firm upon your decision of not marrying a non Muslim woman in spite of the immense love that you have for her.
          I suggest you should not stop praying for her to convert at least until either of the two of you find your true love elsewhere. Coz dua is the most powerful weapon and it can change any situation and it not at all wrong for you to pray that your love becomes Muslim and your relationship thus turns halal. Also, I didn’t understand that if she’s ready to convert for you, why don’t you give her a chance, may be she’ll truly change her heart once she gets to see the real beautiful Islam?
          I pray that Allah rewards you with immense love and care and if this relationship is khayr for you, you get married to her soon and she converts to Islam. Although, I’d suggest that until then you cut off contacts with her and seek help through prayers and Insha Allah may be one day she might come to you as a Muslimah. Aameen!!! + MORE OPTIONS

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      • Salam,

        I would like to share with you, sisters and brothers, my story:

        9 years ago, I have meet on educational forum for studying foreign languages a boy, from Emirates (He was learning English, I too, in exchange I have learned with him German language and History). He was wonderful and, believed in Allah. Before I met him, I was unsure about my believs, but I have read about Islam, about Allah, how Muslims live - everything. It was something new for me, and it was like a path: I've agreed with many points. I have converted, on my own will, without someone's pressing. He didn't knew. From friendship fast was first love. You need to know, that we never meet in real life: just chat/Skype/WhatsApp. He was sharing with me all jis burdens, problems, weakness, good times, success. The same was with me: I could count on his support, a good word, a joke to improve my mood. Years passed.

        Together, each of us in our countries graduated from university: he from computer science, I from business management. He swore that I am the love of his life, that he wants to marry me, have children and grow old. I finally told him that for so many years I was also a Muslim, that these wishes made to him on the occasion of Eid Al-Fitr or others were not courteous - that at the same time I also experienced it, prayed, fasted. I did not grow up in the Muslim religion, but I learned it and go to the Muslim Center, where I learn, work and can learn something from older sisters.


        When I confessed to him, everything started to go wrong. he started to have less and less time for me. I understand, he started to work - I respect it, I also work myself. The problem of parents poured a bit of bitterness: that they would never accept me, because I do not come from the same cultural circle, that I do not know whether to introduce me to them. For nine years, he never told about me his parents or siblings. For that, I decided & introduced him to my family because from the very beginning I wanted to be serious and honest with him.


        With time, contact began to break. I made it clear: I am 26 years old, you have 27. It is time to start seriously: meet, meet our families, start thinking seriously about the future. I work in a large corporation with offices in Dubai, so relocation would not be a problem. He then panicked. For goodbye he only sent me a song on WhatsApp and since December he does not speak to me.

        How do I feel? Betrayed, used, washed out of emotions. I can not trust a man anymore. Should I finish this relationship sooner? I do not know. Everything started to go wrong from the moment he found out I was a Muslim. I'm not an ugly woman, I'm even considered very attractivr, though I'm not flounce because of modesty; now, after graduation, I earn very well, I am the head of the Financial Audit department - I am constantly developing, so I would not be a financial burden for him; so I do not know what happened.

        Now just prayers helps a little and job: slowly become workaholic, but I don't care as long as I don't think about this situation. This post is for me a purification of the soul: I have not told anyone so far. I believe that when I throw it out of myself, I will be able to finally find relief from this heartache.
        Last edited by Momochi; 19-01-19, 01:51 AM.

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        • Originally posted by Momochi View Post
          Salam,

          I would like to share with you, sisters and brothers, my story:

          9 years ago, I have meet on educational forum for studying foreign languages a boy, from Emirates (He was learning English, I too, in exchange I have learned with him German language and History). He was wonderful and, believed in Allah. Before I met him, I was unsure about my believs, but I have read about Islam, about Allah, how Muslims live - everything. It was something new for me, and it was like a path: I've agreed with many points. I have converted, on my own will, without someone's pressing. He didn't knew. From friendship fast was first love. You need to know, that we never meet in real life: just chat/Skype/WhatsApp. He was sharing with me all jis burdens, problems, weakness, good times, success. The same was with me: I could count on his support, a good word, a joke to improve my mood. Years passed.

          Together, each of us in our countries graduated from university: he from computer science, I from business management. He swore that I am the love of his life, that he wants to marry me, have children and grow old. I finally told him that for so many years I was also a Muslim, that these wishes made to him on the occasion of Eid Al-Fitr or others were not courteous - that at the same time I also experienced it, prayed, fasted. I did not grow up in the Muslim religion, but I learned it and go to the Muslim Center, where I learn, work and can learn something from older sisters.


          When I confessed to him, everything started to go wrong. he started to have less and less time for me. I understand, he started to work - I respect it, I also work myself. The problem of parents poured a bit of bitterness: that they would never accept me, because I do not come from the same cultural circle, that I do not know whether to introduce me to them. For nine years, he never told about me his parents or siblings. For that, I decided & introduced him to my family because from the very beginning I wanted to be serious and honest with him.


          With time, contact began to break. I made it clear: I am 26 years old, you have 27. It is time to start seriously: meet, meet our families, start thinking seriously about the future. I work in a large corporation with offices in Dubai, so relocation would not be a problem. He then panicked. For goodbye he only sent me a song on WhatsApp and since December he does not speak to me.

          How do I feel? Betrayed, used, washed out of emotions. I can not trust a man anymore. Should I finish this relationship sooner? I do not know. Everything started to go wrong from the moment he found out I was a Muslim. I'm not an ugly woman, I'm even considered very attractivr, though I'm not flounce because of modesty; now, after graduation, I earn very well, I am the head of the Financial Audit department - I am constantly developing, so I would not be a financial burden for him; so I do not know what happened.

          Now just prayers helps a little and job: slowly become workaholic, but I don't care as long as I don't think about this situation. This post is for me a purification of the soul: I have not told anyone so far. I believe that when I throw it out of myself, I will be able to finally find relief from this heartache.
          Wa alaikum Salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatu

          don't let this experience dissuade you from Islam subhanAllah you've found a precious gem in Islam worth far more than the fickle attention of a guy. Perhaps Allah wanted better for you than him

          as for your sadness try this dua. I've never read it without Allah blessing me with happiness wa lilahil hamd

          It was reported from ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ud that the Prophet said:

          “No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says:

          ‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi’

          “O Allah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Quran the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety” but Allah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy.” (Ahmad 1/391)

          May Allah grant you sakinah and steadfastness in islam
          Imagine sleeping without praying isha and then waking up in your grave- bilal Phillips

          Comment


          • Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post

            Wa alaikum Salam wa rahmatullah wa barakatu

            don't let this experience dissuade you from Islam subhanAllah you've found a precious gem in Islam worth far more than the fickle attention of a guy. Perhaps Allah wanted better for you than him

            as for your sadness try this dua. I've never read it without Allah blessing me with happiness wa lilahil hamd

            It was reported from ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ud that the Prophet said:

            “No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says:

            ‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi’

            “O Allah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Quran the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety” but Allah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy.” (Ahmad 1/391)

            May Allah grant you sakinah and steadfastness in islam
            Assalaamu alaikum brother, with that sadness dua, do you say it with careful concentration or anything for it to be accepted. Just want to know for my benefit and other members :)
            وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

            And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


            أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

            Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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            • Salam, nice to see this type of info

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