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  • Things to consider when finding a wife?

    Salamz.

    You know when somebody asks you the question, "what are you looking for?" Referring to race.

    That question to me is more confusing than useful.

    Why can't the question be, what criteria are you looking for?

    Ya'ani, to me, asking me questions like age, her race and such things only do one thing. When you answer it, you are only limiting your options.

    How sheikh advertisement?

    Well, because even if you did say that you are looking for a Chinese wife and the person told you he knows an Eritirean that teaches quran and is looking for marriage. You might have lost out on what could be a beautiful woman who is also pious because you said your looking for a particular race.


    Ya'ani, say the things you hope she is doing so that you find a person that will better you as a person. I mean, haven't we reached a day and age where planes and transportation is such that if you need to pick up your bags today and migrate like a bird you can find yourself in a country where rizq is plenty even though you never had all the degrees that people attached with rizq.

    What do you mean oh sheikh?

    I mean, you say your looking for a person who has such and such amount of money when again, these are all just superficial things.

    Ask about things that will give you insight to the persons personality, interests and outlook on life. These could be many things but to start:

    1) What habits (teaching Quran, exercise, cook, buy and sell things etc.) does the person have? What activities does the person wish they did more often?

    The type of things a person engages tells you about the person.

    2) Bring up conversations about life and see the person's insight about them and if the person says something like, "I wish poor people were taken care of" yet the person doesn't do anything about it then that just tells you more about the person. Or if the person talks about parents being very important but doesn't buy their parents gifts (for example). These don't mean the person isn't a good person but it does give you an insight on who the person is.

    Baraka Allah feekom

  • #2
    Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

    ya sheikh you didn't say salam properly.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

      LOLz ^^
      أشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله و أشهد أن محمد رسول الله

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

        Originally posted by bint begum View Post
        ya sheikh you didn't say salam properly.
        ha-ha-ha
        the one time i don't follow my rules and try to be cool and everybody notices it.
        I'll take that as my salam is so precious and my fanz can't go wid out it.
        Salam alaykom

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

          :salams,

          Marriage is the union of two opposite sexes who are one in essence. This institution is the back-bone of human civilization. It is a sort of contract which every Muslim man or woman is enjoined upon to make in his or her own interest un;ess there are some special reasons for avoiding it.Things you should consider when finding a wife:The choice of the couple is of greatest consideration regarding marriage,if both the genders are not of equal faculties,qualities and status,the purpose of marriage is frustrated. The outstanding qualifications of the bride should be: 1)She should be a chaste and beautiful virgin
          2)she must have a child bearing capacity and religious temperament
          3)She must possess an affectionate nature,polished manner nad polite habits.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

            Originally posted by advertisement2 View Post
            Well, because even if you did say that you are looking for a Chinese wife and the person told you he knows an Eritirean that teaches quran and is looking for marriage. You might have lost out on what could be a beautiful woman who is also pious because you said your looking for a particular race.
            I've been telling people for 7 years now that I want a chinese wife, from the heilongjiang region, but no one seems to be able to find me one.
            <--- I look like that and when I'm not :zzz:, I'm usually like like:banbear:and like:rotfl:but sometimes I'm like as well.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

              Originally posted by Yanal View Post
              The outstanding qualifications of the bride should be: 1)She should be a chaste and beautiful virgin
              What is this nonsense?

              So the outstanding qualifications for a groom should be 1) He must be a rich, handsome and have a first class degree.

              Anyone who does not fit this 'qualification' CANNOT get married.


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              • #8
                Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

                when u talk to religious ppl then chastity is needed if not a must. As for people whos islam doesn't go more than their names, then we tell them the same thing but still let them marry ppl unchaste as them.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

                  Originally posted by advertisement2 View Post
                  when u talk to religious ppl then chastity is needed if not a must. As for people whos islam doesn't go more than their names, then we tell them the same thing but still let them marry ppl unchaste as them.
                  So I understand you're trying to tell us religious people tend to pass judgement onto people who may have made mistakes in the past?
                  I put it to you, that you're full of it.
                  It's more a cultural thing, as a religious person should know Allah swt alone judges, and we have no right to try and give his attributes to people or ourselves.
                  Just because someone is 'unchaste' (something that can't be changed, but can be repented for) means NOTHING of their piety right here and right now.
                  That's that.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

                    Originally posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
                    So I understand you're trying to tell us religious people tend to pass judgement onto people who may have made mistakes in the past?
                    I put it to you, that you're full of it.
                    It's more a cultural thing, as a religious person should know Allah swt alone judges, and we have no right to try and give his attributes to people or ourselves.
                    Just because someone is 'unchaste' (something that can't be changed, but can be repented for) means NOTHING of their piety right here and right now.
                    That's that.
                    ;)

                    You are way off from what I meant but you are quick to fall into the same error you accuse me of- passing judgements.

                    I don't mean non-virgin by unchaste.

                    I mean muslims that are dating and stuff.
                    If you want to call that "chaste" just cuz they didn't have sex then so be it.

                    But to me that's not chaste, pious, religious, or Allah fearing behaviour...even if they didn't do major zina.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

                      Originally posted by Yanal View Post
                      :salams,

                      1)She should be a chaste and beautiful virgin
                      2)she must have a child bearing capacity and religious temperament
                      3)She must possess an affectionate nature,polished manner nad polite habits.
                      1) What happens to the women who are not beutiful? No muslim marries them.
                      2) How do you check child bearing capacity before marraige and willingness of the lady to undergo that process.
                      [B]Information about internet, web hosting, broadband, web development and SEO services in Pakistan[/B]
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                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

                        Originally posted by advertisement2 View Post
                        ;)

                        You are way off from what I meant but you are quick to fall into the same error you accuse me of- passing judgements.

                        I don't mean non-virgin by unchaste.

                        I mean muslims that are dating and stuff.
                        If you want to call that "chaste" just cuz they didn't have sex then so be it.

                        But to me that's not chaste, pious, religious, or Allah fearing behaviour...even if they didn't do major zina.
                        I misunderstood you.
                        That ARE dating is indeed unchaste.
                        I thought you meant that may have been dating once upon a time.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Things to consider when finding a wife?

                          Originally posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
                          I misunderstood you.
                          That ARE dating is indeed unchaste.
                          I thought you meant that may have been dating once upon a time.
                          yea my apology cuz i agree it is bad if i meant wat u thought.
                          It's all about the now and what the person does now.

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