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  • #16
    Re: Would you.....

    Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
    Also some say that as you get to know the person then you get to 'love' them
    Still confused as to what you are saying.. after marriage or before marriage.. because you only know the person abit before marriage

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    • #17
      Re: Would you.....

      That is my point exactly. I'm confused as well. This is before the nikah but during the 'getting to know you' process
      (The hypocrites) will call the believers: "Were we not with you?" The believers will reply: "Yes! But you led yourselves into temptations, you looked forward for our destruction; you doubted (in Faith); and you were deceived by false desires, till the Command of Allah came to pass. And the chief deceiver (Satan) deceived you in respect of Allah."57:14

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      • #18
        Re: Would you.....

        There's no such thing as a 'getting to know you' process.. That's zina of the eyes and the tongue..

        As far as I know.. Love is only after marriage and only lust is there before marriage

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        • #19
          Re: Would you.....

          Haha you've confused us all sis!

          I don't see how I would ever be in the situation where I love them before I marry them since as a Muslimah I don't get close to guys like that to begin with :S BUT for the sake of the thread... IF that was the case, I would base my decision on isthikhara and prayers etc only because Allah knows best and even if I did love a guy and wanted to marry him - If you give something up for the sake of Allah, then Allah replaces it with something better. Always put your trust in Allah, 'cause as they say - Love is blind! :p
          Allah is 'closer to him than (his) jugular vein' (Quran - 50:16)
          ♥.. Any given time - I do my best to strive - In Your name I rise - The apple of my eyes ..♥

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          • #20
            Re: Would you.....

            most confusing thread i've ever seen lol
            There is a clock on your forehead counting down to the time of your death. Only Allah knows how many seconds are left on it

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            • #21
              Re: Would you.....

              Depends. If I was in a haram relationship and fell in love with someone and then the idea of marriage came along and suddenly I wasn't blinded by the love, I'd think whether she has good religious qualities/potential or not. If not, then the love itself doesn't suffice and I would say no.

              There was a similar question on IslamQA where two people fell in love, yet they did have other good religious traits such as no music, proper hijaab, praying 5 times a day etc. They were told to repent, but still advise to get married. This doesn't give a green to get into a situation like that.

              Marry for the deen always.

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              • #22
                Re: Would you.....

                These are my thoughts as well, but 2 people i've asked straight away replied with 'pfft yes, why else would i get married to that person'
                (The hypocrites) will call the believers: "Were we not with you?" The believers will reply: "Yes! But you led yourselves into temptations, you looked forward for our destruction; you doubted (in Faith); and you were deceived by false desires, till the Command of Allah came to pass. And the chief deceiver (Satan) deceived you in respect of Allah."57:14

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                • #23
                  Re: Would you.....

                  Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
                  These are my thoughts as well, but 2 people i've asked straight away replied with 'pfft yes, why else would i get married to that person'
                  Did you ask 'how would you get to love them before marriage?'

                  They might be doing the 'getting to know you process'

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                  • #24
                    Re: Would you.....

                    In the past I would've said yes probably unconditionally but a lot has changed since then. Now I'd say if the person still had the good deen and character qualities I look for and my parents accept him THEN yes so the answer is still yes but conditional.

                    If I loved a guy who didn't fulfil those conditions then I'd have to say no cos' that's just asking for trouble.
                    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                    • #25
                      Re: Would you.....

                      the French have an interesting saying...'love makes you blind, marriage gives you sight'. (l'amour rend aveugle, le mariage donne la vue)

                      i agree with sis CTV...i wouldn't want to be getting close enough to a brother to love him before marriage. in islam the nikah is a contract which is almost business like in nature but the point is that you marry for compatibility rather than hormones.

                      after marriage, when you get to know your spouse that's when love grows.

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                      • #26
                        Re: Would you.....

                        Theres this girl right...

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                        • #27
                          Re: Would you.....

                          Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
                          :salams

                          .....marry someone because you love them?

                          I just want to know your opinions/views on this. Some say yes (i've asked around) others think differently.

                          If need be then i'll get a mod to close this thread
                          Love...... you must be a woman.

                          As a guy I would marry someone because she has nice eyes, figure, toes anything, but love, common.
                          Still waiting for a Knight in shining armour. How sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. KEEP WAITING!!

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                          • #28
                            Re: Would you.....

                            Originally posted by zdc View Post
                            Love...... you must be a woman.

                            As a guy I would marry someone because she has nice eyes, figure, toes anything, but love, common.
                            Still waiting for a Knight in shining armour. How sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. KEEP WAITING!!
                            You're a weird one. :wacko: every post of yours has something against women (including that siggy of yours)

                            Anyway back on topic errmm... I would. But in reality, I wouldn't cross the paths that would make me fall in love with someone before marriage.

                            When I first saw the title of this thread I thought it was a game of "would you do this and that...." :o

                            Do not think of minor sins as insignificant, for mountains are made out of pebbles.

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                            • #29
                              Re: Would you.....

                              No. I would not marry a guy purely because I loved him. This is not the essence of life, nor is it the factor that will ensure the success of the marriage.
                              Last edited by Jenicca; 15-09-10, 10:39 AM.
                              وَالْعَصْرِ

                              إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                              إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

                              "If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us, for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.

                              "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                              Khanqah Habibiyah

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                              • #30
                                Re: Would you.....

                                Originally posted by 1MuslimByChoice View Post
                                :salams

                                .....marry someone because you love them?

                                I just want to know your opinions/views on this. Some say yes (i've asked around) others think differently.

                                If need be then i'll get a mod to close this thread
                                I don't see why not. If you love them and they are compatible wih you, then alhamdulillah right? It doesn't have to be deep love, but you can fall in love with someone through their beautiful akhalq or beautiful adab. I suppose you could fall in love with someone due to their beautiful looks as this reminds you that Allah is indeed the Creator of beautiful things so you look at them and remember Allah.

                                In any case, if the love is halal, in the sense that you don't do illegal activities due to this and you simply want to be with them in marriage, then I don't see this as a bad thing. Better to marry someone you love then to constantly day dream or stare at them.
                                وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُواْ لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُواْ بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ
                                "And when My servants ask you (O Muhammad concerning Me, then answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright."
                                Surah al-Baqarah ayah 186
                                [2:186]

                                .:.
                                .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                                Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

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