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Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

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  • #16
    Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

    When it comes to proposals, it's one thing if a person wasn't Muslim or wasn't practising during student years, took out a loan and later regretted it/repented. It's entirely another when people make excuses for it as if it's okay. I knew one practising brother who was looking to get married- he already had a degree but struggled to find work and thought a masters might help improve his chances. I don't know how he went about getting a degree but before pursuing his masters he asked me my opinion about getting a loan to help pay for his studies. I told him it was haraam and to find another way but he took the loan anyway. I knew when it came to looking to get married he had an interest in me but even though he had a lot of good qualities, this one thing put me off above everything else. It's one thing having a personal disagreement with someone and that person to go against your decision but he went against Allah's (swt) decision and that's a deal breaker for me.

    As for these sisters you speak of, I don't understand why they pursued degrees in the first place if they couldn't afford them- let alone couldn't afford to do them in a halal way. What was the point? If they intended to work after their studies then they should be paying off their debts themselves and if they intend to not work then they shouldn't have plunged themselves into debt in the first place. None of this sits right with me, it all feels very wrong.
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    • #17
      Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

      Originally posted by dawud_uk View Post
      no, so cant hit me on the insurance one, though insurance is no where as near a major sin as riba.
      really car insurance is haram eventho you need it to drive. I mean here in state if I don't have my insurance card with me when cops stop me, I get few hundred dollar fine. Why is it haram?

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      • #18
        Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

        Interesting unique topic. It is something most people over look.

        If she is planning on working, make sure she knows its her responsibilty to pay off her debt.
        If she isn't planning on working or you don't want her to work ever (not just when she has kids) then make sure you tell her you won't take any responsibility over her loan and it is her father/her duty.

        I wouldn't completely reject someone based on this without talking first. But I would be worried. Especially as a sis I know plenty of brothers took out large amount of loans because they had no goal in life and just wanted to get their father off their back. I wouldn't trust a guy who used student loan as a way of living.

        Are you sure wife's loan isn't husband loan after few years. I mean she will get sin for her loan & him in charge of her, wouldn't he?

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        • #19
          Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

          Originally posted by Kya View Post
          really car insurance is haram eventho you need it to drive. I mean here in state if I don't have my insurance card with me when cops stop me, I get few hundred dollar fine. Why is it haram?
          Insurance in general is haram. But there are countries like Canada where insurance is by law and you can't drive without it and so in this case as long as you take the most bare minimum insurance plan available, then it is allowed because there are no alternatives or the alternatives aren't practical. As far as education goes, beware of falling for the trap "if i dont get a good degree no one will marry me and I will be poor".

          Insurance system contains riba(interest) because if you are paying your premium @$300 bucks per month for 2 months and crash your car for a cost of over $2000, you are getting more coverage than what you paid for which is the basic concept of Riba.

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          • #20
            Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

            Originally posted by dawud_uk View Post
            no, so cant hit me on the insurance one, though insurance is no where as near a major sin as riba.
            Insurance is a form of Riba. The least form of Riba = having it off with your mother. I doubt any sane person considers that a minour sin. The only way you'll get away from Riba is by living in a hut or cave and grow your own food to avoid 17.5% RIBA VAT along with the rampant illegal trading.

            If the poor aspiring youth were to take your advice (no student-loan, no uni) this Ummah would be forever enslaved to the Kufar, forever doing their dirty labour work or scrounge on their benefits with no hope for a way out. There is no other viable option to choose from. Your argument would have held credence if you were writing this from a cave, hut or an Islamic state.

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            • #21
              Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

              Originally posted by loonietoonie View Post
              Insurance system contains riba(interest) because if you are paying your premium @$300 bucks per month for 2 months and crash your car for a cost of over $2000, you are getting more coverage than what you paid for which is the basic concept of Riba.

              [/COLOR][/SIZE].” [Sahih al Jaami]
              No fault insurance does not cover any damange you have in your car. it only pays the other person you hit. Is it still considered riba?

              ok say you pay $300x2 ==> $2000. But for next 2 yrs u will keep paying 300 eventho u hae no accident. won't u be paying the money back in a sense.

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              • #22
                Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

                there's many female students on this forum. and what's weird is that not a single sister who has loan debts has come in here and said she wants her (potential/) husband to pay her debts

                why would you think that? unless you specifically ask her to not work and that you'll provide for her, in which case you become responsible for those debts too.

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                • #23
                  Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

                  It can take years to pay off student loans. What if you have children in that time? I would not expect my wife to be working and try raising a child at the same time. So yes, I probably would end up having to pay.

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                  • #24
                    Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

                    if you're basing your marriage upon someone's wealth or lack thereof (debt) i don't think the relationship really stands a chance.

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                    • #25
                      Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

                      this is actually an important and relevant issue considering so many sisters have crazy sums of debt racked up and yes, many of them expect at least some help from the dude they marry if they haven't paid it off by then.. which they most likely haven't. I guess it depends on the guy and if this will be a huge burden on him. If he's able to handle it, and the sister is a good sister and this is something from her past that she's repented from, then why not? if she doesn't even feel remorse for this riba based debt, then i'd be like "Neeeext"..

                      alhamdulillah never borrowed a cent of student loan and I intend to keep it that way.. debt makes me super nervous, and riba just makes my skin crawl =s
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                      • #26
                        Re: Rejecting a Potential Because of Their Student Loans

                        Asalaam Alaikum

                        If the debt is acquired before the marriage it is not the husbands responsibility

                        http://islamqa.com/en/ref/12324/wife%20debt
                        Collection of Arabic Learning material and Islamic Books



                        Away for a bit :wavey:

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